I am sorry you are struggling so much. I could say a lot of things, but I will try to keep it short. First, you are loved and valued and cherished and amazing. This world would not be the same without you in it. Second, we can all offer ideas and advice for what worked for us, but ultimately, you will have to decide for yourself what works best for you. Someone else posted about helping others, which is always great. Maybe it's just doing what makes you come alive, like writing or painting or just getting out in nature. Maybe it's playing music or reading your favorite book or spending time with your favorite furry friend. Whatever it looks like for you, do it. Remember to take one day, one moment even, at a time. Love and prayers for you.