Yes. Before I went through with it I felt calm and happy. Death was my only desire back then, and when you finally get what you desperately want, you feel joy. The moments which preceded my loss of consciousness were actually the happiest moments of my life. I had never felt so calm before. It was a huge relief. But the feeling when I woke up at the hospital a few days later was so bad that it annihilated all the bliss.
Happiness before Suicide?
- Thread starter soon2bforgotten
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Dear Mike,
Please hang in there...
While I was reading through your posts, a question came to me: what would your mom say to you now if she is watching over you?
I feel that you are a great human being - you love animals (animals are more sane than most humans now); you are kind; you have great intentions…
It is true that our human world is kind of fu…but there is a way to live in this world but not to be limited by this world. We can choose not to believe the thoughts, opinions, judgements, prejudices, etc, as they are not ultimately true. We can choose to be our own best friend. We can choose to disagree with or simply ignore the thoughts/judgements from ourselves or others that are against us. We have the power to break the mind patterns…
We are human beings, not human doings. All other animals can be in peace with their beingness/existence, but most humans have a hard time to be in peace with being the way we are or the way things are. Why? The conditioned mind is where the problem is. This is nothing personal. It’s thousands of years of human history - conditioning of the human mind…
Being a successful human being does not mean what he/she has achieved or done, but whether he/she can be in peace with life as it IS (BEING) beyond the mind (beyond understanding).
Maybe you can already sense that who you really are is beyond the body and mind. You can be aware of your thoughts, right? What is that which is aware of the thoughts and feelings? Does that awareness come and disappear with the body and mind? Or is it possible that it is always there?
Also, please allow me to mention: Life experiences are for us (our souls) to learn lessons. There are no mistakes, only lessons. A lesson is repeated (through reincarnation) until it is learned.
Anyway, as far as I know, no soul would choose suicide…
Maybe you can still communicate with your mom in a way. Here is a video clip that may be of help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh4hVXacjxo
You are still young. Please give yourself more time before such a “final” decision. When girls are more mature, they’d love a man like you, with such sensitivity, gentle, caring, humble…How you think and feel WILL pass…guaranteed!!
Wish you well and hugs :hug:
Please hang in there...
While I was reading through your posts, a question came to me: what would your mom say to you now if she is watching over you?
I feel that you are a great human being - you love animals (animals are more sane than most humans now); you are kind; you have great intentions…
It is true that our human world is kind of fu…but there is a way to live in this world but not to be limited by this world. We can choose not to believe the thoughts, opinions, judgements, prejudices, etc, as they are not ultimately true. We can choose to be our own best friend. We can choose to disagree with or simply ignore the thoughts/judgements from ourselves or others that are against us. We have the power to break the mind patterns…
We are human beings, not human doings. All other animals can be in peace with their beingness/existence, but most humans have a hard time to be in peace with being the way we are or the way things are. Why? The conditioned mind is where the problem is. This is nothing personal. It’s thousands of years of human history - conditioning of the human mind…
Being a successful human being does not mean what he/she has achieved or done, but whether he/she can be in peace with life as it IS (BEING) beyond the mind (beyond understanding).
Maybe you can already sense that who you really are is beyond the body and mind. You can be aware of your thoughts, right? What is that which is aware of the thoughts and feelings? Does that awareness come and disappear with the body and mind? Or is it possible that it is always there?
Also, please allow me to mention: Life experiences are for us (our souls) to learn lessons. There are no mistakes, only lessons. A lesson is repeated (through reincarnation) until it is learned.
Anyway, as far as I know, no soul would choose suicide…
Maybe you can still communicate with your mom in a way. Here is a video clip that may be of help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh4hVXacjxo
You are still young. Please give yourself more time before such a “final” decision. When girls are more mature, they’d love a man like you, with such sensitivity, gentle, caring, humble…How you think and feel WILL pass…guaranteed!!
Wish you well and hugs :hug:
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