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Hey another therapist

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#1
So, after 29 1/2 years of therapy with probably 20 or so therapists I'm still not finding someone who can help me. My current one called another one on my behalf today because I can't retell my 'story' one more time. This person is concerned she can't help me either. How long do you keep trying? I don't really want to. I just want to die. I'm terminally sad.
 
#2
Do you feel like the therapy helped even a little?

Therapy works well for some people but not for others. There are certainly other types of treatment to try. In addition to trying other conventional treatment methods, you might want to try alternative treatments or self-treatment methods.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#3
Do you feel like the therapy helped even a little?

Therapy works well for some people but not for others. There are certainly other types of treatment to try. In addition to trying other conventional treatment methods, you might want to try alternative treatments or self-treatment methods.
No, it hasn't helped. I'm getting worse. 30 years of different therapists, different types and no resolution. My current one is very kind but sits and says ' I want to help but don't know what to do'. She acknowledges how much I've tried and said most people would have given up. I can't wait until I die. It's the only way to end the pain. Why I can't just fall asleep and not wake up is beyond me. I often reflect back on emergency surgery I had when I was 15. If it wasn't for outside intervention, my body would have given out. I find it unfortunate the doctors saved me.
 

Aurelia

Over a low sun, undo the undone.
#5
May I ask what your diagnosis is? Why is this therapist having such a difficult time trying to help you; that's what she was supposed to be trained for?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#6
May I ask what your diagnosis is? Why is this therapist having such a difficult time trying to help you; that's what she was supposed to be trained for?
I have treatment resistant depression. I have a hard time connecting to people and experienced rejection from guys all my life. I'm 51 and have never even had anyone hold my hand. I can't connect with peers because when I've told them in the past, they have then stopped including me. I've watched my peers marry, have children, etc. I feel left out and isolated. I have participated in my life to the best of my ability. A quote from a guy I liked when I was 15: ' there's nothing wrong with her. She's just ugly ' The flip side was people that found me physically attractive didn't like my personality. Therapists say there's nothing wrong with either so they can't say how to improve. I have actually gone in with lists of things I've tried and they are dumbfounded. The only thing I haven't done is online dating. While I realize some think this is the solution, it is not as it paralyzes me with fear. I did have some predators ask me out. This would have resulted in rape. So,my diagnosis is severe depression (brought on by circumstances).I am what they call an HSP- highly sensitive person. Medication only makes me ill and suicidal. I need human connection and it's elusive.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#7
Leesa,
You are definitely not alone. I experienced the same thing. I even tried just having friends and that failed. Too bad we cannot be support for each other.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#8
Leesa,
You are definitely not alone. I experienced the same thing. I even tried just having friends and that failed. Too bad we cannot be support for each other.
She just sits there in disbelief. I had been referred by a former therapist to her and she said after we met that she wished she would have met me under different circumstances because she would like to have me as a friend. But, that's not possible. Also, I never would have met her in real life. People make friends in school and work and during these formative years start dating. I got left out. I asked for help then and was just told it would get better. It didn't. I have volunteered but can't connect with people. I am not religious but actually tried that route. It was awful. When people ' grow up' their newer friends tend to be the parents of their kids' friends. This is not an option. I didn't do anything wrong. I just missed out.
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#9
@Leesa
As I sit and read the thread, I am in the same place now...terminally sad, now isolated for the most part, so ready to go, no longer having human connection of any real depth....You have not given up for decades, that is remarkable and courageous of you. I wish there was an answer, a way to create solid authentic friendships. I have found it impossible to do being of an older age.
 
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Waves

Well-Known Member
#10
She just sits there in disbelief. I had been referred by a former therapist to her and she said after we met that she wished she would have met me under different circumstances because she would like to have me as a friend. But, that's not possible. Also, I never would have met her in real life. People make friends in school and work and during these formative years start dating. I got left out. I asked for help then and was just told it would get better. It didn't. I have volunteered but can't connect with people. I am not religious but actually tried that route. It was awful. When people ' grow up' their newer friends tend to be the parents of their kids' friends. This is not an option. I didn't do anything wrong. I just missed out.
Yes I missed out too. Depression does not bode well for parenthood so I did not choose that route. That saying that you have children to take care of you in old age is true after all. If they do of course. Most I see do. And glad they do. As for therapy isn’t it to have someone to talk to?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#11
Yes I missed out too. Depression does not bode well for parenthood so I did not choose that route. That saying that you have children to take care of you in old age is true after all. If they do of course. Most I see do. And glad they do. As for therapy isn’t it to have someone to talk to?
My mom is 80 and terminally ill. We are by no means close but I am the one helping her with her bills, etc. This is from her social security as I cannot afford it. She is married but he doesn't know how to do these things. I didn't have a choice as to whether I wanted kids. I feared repeating the relationship I had with my mother. While she didn't abuse me, I was neglected and it damaged me. But I don't want to keep rehashing that in therapy. It's time to move on.
It's nice to have someone to talk to but I want help, not to pretend I have a friend for an hour a week. Sometimes it is more harmful. I don't know if that makes sense. She said some things last week which were very hurtful although there was no intention. I told her I felt unheard and she was sincere in her apology yesterday. Unfortunately, the pain was so great and I didn't have the tools to cope. I withdrew for an entire week. I'm still down.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#12
@Leesa
As I sit and read the thread, I am in the same place now...terminally sad, now isolated for the most part, so ready to go, no longer having human connection of any real depth....You have not given up for decades, that is remarkable and courageous of you. I wish there was an answer, a way to create solid authentic friendships. I have found it impossible to do being of an older age.
I like your dog. I can't afford a dog right now and it's always been painful thinking about leaving one behind if I killed myself.
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#13
I like your dog. I can't afford a dog right now and it's always been painful thinking about leaving one behind if I killed myself.
Thank you, he's such a sweetie and comfort and that is a concern of mine as well. He's also about 13 and I know it will be difficult for me when his time comes....that's the catch-22
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#14
Thank you, he's such a sweetie and comfort and that is a concern of mine as well. He's also about 13 and I know it will be difficult for me when his time comes....that's the catch-22
Yes. My last one was close to 16. She may have been 16. Idk. She had been a stray. I was nearly homeless during the recession and my biggest fear was losing her. I couldn't even afford it when it was time to put her to sleep. My mom had to pay. That was also upsetting because I want to be financially secure. I was prior to the recession so this covid thing has terrified me. Many people are getting a glimpse of what I want through during the recession. I really wanted to just be put to sleep with her.
 
#15
So, after 29 1/2 years of therapy with probably 20 or so therapists I'm still not finding someone who can help me. My current one called another one on my behalf today because I can't retell my 'story' one more time. This person is concerned she can't help me either. How long do you keep trying? I don't really want to. I just want to die. I'm terminally sad.
 
#16
I have had many coucelling sessions and always have to start again.. drives me mad. Most of them are just trying to get more experience.. my latest one actually wanted to help. . But then comes covid and I'll have to start again again
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#17
I have had many coucelling sessions and always have to start again.. drives me mad. Most of them are just trying to get more experience.. my latest one actually wanted to help. . But then comes covid and I'll have to start again again
I don't know if they realize how exhausting it is. I have told many ' if you can't help me, please find someone who can. I'm tired:. This is how I ended up with someone who can't help me. Because I'm an anomaly.
 

Livelife

SF Supporter
#18
Yes. My last one was close to 16. She may have been 16. Idk. She had been a stray. I was nearly homeless during the recession and my biggest fear was losing her. I couldn't even afford it when it was time to put her to sleep. My mom had to pay. That was also upsetting because I want to be financially secure. I was prior to the recession so this covid thing has terrified me. Many people are getting a glimpse of what I want through during the recession. I really wanted to just be put to sleep with her.
I hear you. And it was nice you got to have her for so many years, doesn't make it any easier when they transition, they're such a big part of our lives. I had one years ago that made it to 16. Mine have always been rescues. I have always put mine down outside under a big tree....and yes, that would be a nice way to go as well.......I hope you get the start of some security this year...covid really has turned so many parts of life upside down.
 
#20
They do there job because they want to understand people and I know that moving on in the career takes priority ova helping one person..I speak ova and ova again and then have to start again again..
 

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