I don't know why it doesn't work out. I don't even know how far to go back. In school I did band and theatre but never had anyone to sit next to on the bus. I have worked but am usually left out of social engagements. When invited, I used to always go but would be ignored while there. I have volunteered. I joined a church ( bad idea and not true to myself ) I have gone to concerts alone. I have ' invited' myself when others have gone but am still left out. I have done volunteering with animals but only relate to the animals. I have gone to the gym both alone and exercise groups. I went to a football game with coworkers only to have them desert me during the last half. ( This was in the 90s.) I drove with two people. At half time one said she had a headache and they were going to get water so she could take something. I learned later they went to a bar to watch the second half of the game. They came by at the very end to pick me up. My other co-workers were spread throughout the stadium and I was panicking about how I would get home. Even strangers pointed out I was ditched. They weren't mean but seemed to feel sorry for me. I have tried meet ups. I love music and have made arrangements to meet fans via fan websites but I don't fit. I have done charity walks alone and with coworkers. I did the coffee house thing in college. I used to hang out at bookstores and record stores when I was younger. Met a guy I really liked who worked at a record store but feelings were not returned...I don't like bars or clubs. I've gone but I am always miserable. I come from a family of alcoholics and I don't drink. I become very frightened. That's a quick list. There would be more but would take forever and I use my phone for this.
