His last day

[Shelly]

Tom the feral cat.

Everyone hated and feared you, everyone said you were supposed to die last February when you got terribly sick, everyday and month was a battle for you. I hope to see you on the other side. Thank you for the time and love you showed me.


Before i was close to tom, he would only come close but to a certain distance for food. He would only eat if i distance myself. Until one day he felt comfortable that he would sit closer to me and even rub on me.

One day on February, he got terribly sick, he was close to death. I intervened and he recovered. Every day and every month is unpredictable, one moment he is doing fine and the next he is sick and close to dying again.


He is strong and such a loving creature.


Tom is very clingy, he may not show it around people but when it's just us he will lean on me.


The other day while waiting for my takeout, tom was at his sweetest and clingiest. He followed me everywhere and even waited for me as I crossed the street. He has never behaved this way before and i just thought how nice and awfully sweet of him to do this, this is a good change for him.


Now i know it was his way of saying goodbye to me and everyone and every cats out there.


Yesterday night was a complete 180, tom the sweet, whiny and loving cat was all of the sudden, avoiding me, running away and hiding as if he no longer knows me and he's scared. As i left his food hoping he would eat while i'm away to feed other cats he would sneakily approach but only observe and then run away again, he was spraying and marking and acting weird, he did this repeatedly. It was very out of character of the tom i knew.


That moment i knew this was it for him. This is beyond me, out of my own control to save him. Today is his last day and he still won't let me come close to him. I loved you and i wished you know that. Thank you for showing me your kitty side, you deserved all the love and care you weren't given for almost all of your life, i wish to see you one day in the other side. Your future kid(s) with cally hopefully carries your genes.

I wish i hugged and loved you more. I am sorry I can't do much for you. I'm going to miss your stinky smell, your breath, your fur, cleaning and bathing you, annoying you for over petting, you being whiny and just staring at me with those longing eyes. I'm going to miss hugging and carrying you and you leaning on me. Tom likes to scare away people and other tom cats, but he has always been sweet and patient towards me, female cats and specially kittens.

I only prefer female cats even when i was young. But tom changed that, to me he was more than just a feral/stray cat. He was my companion and my partner. I had never loved any male cat much more humans as much as i had loved tom.

I love you and I am so sorry I couldn't do much for you, i tried, i hope you remember that i will always love and try my best to care for you.

This is my message for tom. Uknown date of birth. But i knew him since 2010 and he was already a big cat then. So Tom, run freely and live happily and safe in kitty heaven with no worries and fear. 2010-June 2, 2017

 

[Walker]

<3 I'm sure he knew you loved him very much. You were good to him, obviously. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Shelly]

@walkerbait95 i just don't why he has to die all of the sudden. All those time he got sick and survived it why now, why I couldn't do more for him

 

[Kiwi2016]

It's so hard to when you lose an animal you love...they offer unconditional love like no others especially if they are feral...hope you hold close to your heart and soul your memories of him...sending you peaceful thoughts and ((hugs))

 

[Petal]

I am sorry for your loss, cherish the memories you have of your cat and know he loved you as much as you loved him. Best wishes xxx

 

[Baicha]

Aw Bless You, Rest in Peace Tom Cat

I have no doubt he knew you loved him, animals have such a good sense of those who wish to help and care. As to why should he die now? There is no answer to that, other than it was his time. I hope you can hold the memories dear in your heart, until you meet him again. Hugs

 

[Shelly]

Couldn't sleep at all, spending all the time crying my heart it hurts so much.

I miss him so much. I feel so sorry I wasn't able to do much for him, i feel so osrry I didn't noticed him 7 years ago, back then i was still recovering from the death of my hamster and i was terrified of having a new pet. He was so misunderstood by everyone, all he needed was patience and love rom everyone, i feel so sorry he has to live a rough life for the most of his time, how i wish i got to him when he was just a young cat.

 

[Shelly]

I miss him so much, his meows, him being whiny, him acting like he doesn't care but will still stay beside me often leaning on me.

I miss cleaning him, and he seems to appreciate it because he would purr.

He will struggle with balance and walking but he would still try to come to me. The way he look at me, the way he will ask me for more chin rubs. The way he would let me pet his belly endlessly and he would just look at me. The way he would greet me, even when we're just staring at each other and how I successfully exchanged slow blinks with him.

I'll miss being able to hug and hold him. Now all of those are just memories and his absence is hurting my heart a lot.

He's such a brave cat, but behind that frightening exterior, he is sweet, patient, warm, and loving.

 

[Kira]

I'm so very, very sorry for you. I can feel your aching heart @SBV24
I actually shed a few tears when I read that just now as I know how much you loved Tom. You healed him back to health back in February and again recently when he got sick again.
I know you are in a lot of pain but I wish you could see the wonderful work you have done. YOU were there when he needed you. You loved him and he loved you. We can't go into the past and think about what we could have done 7 years ago. When you saw that he needed help in February, YOU were there for him! YOU helped him. Cared for him. Fed him. Cleaned him. YOU loved him and that was the greatest gift he had ever received! It was from you! You brightened up his life and he left this world a much happier cat than when he entered it.

Please be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve now. And thank you so much for sharing him with us here!
Please take care ox

 

[Kira]

Sending you MASSIVE hugs too... ox

 

[Shelly]

For everytime he got terribly sick, i was trying my hardest to make him better, i would cry a lot, he would just stare at me longingly, i try to hold back my tears but it was impossible, i regret telling him at those times that if ever he is in so much pain he can just go and i'll be accept it.

All those times he saw me struggled holding back my tears while caring for him are painful to me. It broke my heart when he started avoiding me and hissing at me at his last time, me and the other cat just sat from a short distance, staring at him saying my goodbyes and he would just look at me with his dilated eyes slowly breathing, i would try to hold him one last time but he would hiss and use up his last energy to claw me, i am still wondering why he acted so differently, even though looking at his eyes i knew the tom i know is still there.

After he got terribly sick in February, he was physically never the same.
He would often get sick.
Had smelly breath.
He didn't groom himself well.
His fur was shedding.
His lower half was thin.
He never gained weight despite eating well.
At times he would eat only at little.
At times he wouldn't eat at all.
He did drink a lot of water finishing 2 large deep bowls of water everyday.
He would frequently urinate.
At times he would feel warm to touch.
His cold was on and off.

As if the world was trying to rid of him as i was racing against time to make him feel that he is worthy of being loved and let him know that he may have had a hard time for his entire life but i want to prove him that i am here for him always. I know what it's like to be alone and have no one on your side, misunderstood, and I couldn't bear have this innocent cat suffer and not feel what it's like to be loved.

They told me he was suffering from renal failure and there's nothing much i can do but make his last days worthwhile and comfortable.

Everyday was a battle, even though i know one day he would be gone, he kept surprising me as months went by and he fought his will to live and spent time with me. But even with all his miracle survival, i was unprepared when he would just suddenly die. I felt i have let him down so much as i was unable to save him.

 

[Shelly]

Thank you everyone for your support.

I don't know if the pain will ever leave me. This is the only place i can fully express my grief as none in my real life and family will understand me, they don't care at all.

 

[Shelly]

View attachment 2142 View attachment 2143 View attachment 2144 View attachment 2145 View attachment 2146 View attachment 2147 View attachment 2148 View attachment 2149

 

[Shelly]

View attachment 2150 View attachment 2151 In his memory

 

[Baicha]

Do you know the story of Rainbow Bridge?
It tells of how the animals that die wait for their owners to go over 'Rainbow Bridge' with them when they die. But there is a second chapter not often told. It tells about the animals who dont have an owner, the feral and wild ones. These animals have no one to take the over the bridge so they're apparently destined to wait forever - BUT it tells us that when a rescuer comes to cross the bridge they are 'allowed' to take all the feral and un-owned animals with them and Heaven Rejoices in the love that the rescuer has shown the creatures no one else wanted - This My Dear @SBV24 is you <3
Give yourself time to grieve for your loss, be kind to yourself and know that Tom died knowing he was a very loved cat, these pictures prove that without doubt.

 

[Rebreb]

What an amazing tribute to a handsome fur dude. You are so sweet and you can know he held your love in him. You did every thing you could. ((Hugs)) and thank you for your kindness.

 

[Shelly]

View attachment 2157 I still cry for tom, i miss him too much.

I can't mourn completely for tom because last last night, another stray cat whom i named cally gave birth to 4 kittens and adopted one kitten. She chose me to look after them.

I'm not allowed to take in cats. I bought them a large open cage that is also covered so they can stay hidden and warm, now cally can go take a bathroom break and roam around without worrying for the safety of her kids.

 

[Shelly]

@Baicha that made me cry how there are no-owner animals that can't cross the bridge, it's nit their fault and they don't deserve that... I don't want them to wait that long for me.

 

[Shelly]

I can't stop crying and think of tom whenever I listen to this. I miss hugging him and the way he would just sit and lay beside me, at times leaning on me

 

[Baicha]

But think of all the souls you'll be able to take with you - and Rainbow Bridge is good place to wait for anyone