Well my name is john 28,delaware county pennsylvania.I joined because ive tried to off mysef a year ago and having those same dark thoughts again.And in a sick way it makes me feel a little better someone else feels the same way i do.Im your typical deppressed,what life all for anyway kind of guy.I was diagnosed with major deppression at 12 and have had substance abuse problems,legal problems,life problems and all the crap that goes with life.At times i think life is the most beautiful thing and others the most cruel joke god has played on mankind.My pet peeves are getting out of bed in the morning,therapists and work.Things that make me happpy probably dont abide by the forum guidelines.I do have a big heart though and doing kind things for people help me create some form of self esteem.I hope to have some consversations with some people,hep others and find some help coping with life.