I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.