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Holding on because of my kid

#1
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
 

iloverachel

An unwelcomed alien who does not belong in society
#2
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
Sorry you are feeling suicidal, yes your kid needs you.

I feel your pain, I am alive just for my parents. I know once they are gone I will be gone too as I have nothing left, and the pain of losing them would push me over the edge.
This is no way to live
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#3
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
Is there any support program in your country for your case? I think there are usually people who would like to offer some practical helps for you and for help. I think she would want to help you, as well.
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#4
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
I would like to know why life isn’t worth living for you.
 
#5
In principle, there might be a way to address your own health issues, as well as hers.

I'm not saying it's guaranteed that your and her health issues would be completely cured, but rather that there may be some treatment methods beyond what you've previously considered that might be worth exploring. Even a small improvement might be enough to keep you going.

I hope something can help.

Hugs
 

SkyTree

Well-Known Member
#6
I'm also alive just for my loved ones. But what I know is that she won't ever stop needing you even when she grows up. Stick around for her and for anything and anyone that gives you joy in life. And for us too!
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#7
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
you should do it for her yes, but along the journey you should try to find reasons to live for you. and there is never a time your child doesn't need a parent, no matter how old they are. and they never get over the suicide of a parent. keep talking with us we are listening.

mike...*hug*shake
 

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#8
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
*sadhug i can totally relate to your situation.
 

LonelyHiker

"There is no happy ending.." - A. Bourdain
SF Supporter
#9
I have a 10 year old who needs me, a lot (she has some neurological issues, plus I know she really loves me for some reason). Anyway, sometimes I think I just stay alive for her and that's literally it. Like I actually think to myself...okay I won't kill myself...I will keep getting up and making some sort of effort at life up until she's old enough to not need me anymore. Idk, I want to help her become educated and independent (which won't be easy with her issues). And then I might just finally kill myself. Obviously this isn't healthy but I mean, it's how I feel. Life for ME will never be worth living, I'm just doing it for her.
Our situations are quite similar. I have a 13 yo on the autism spectrum, and I'm pretty much sticking around only for his sake. So I understand.
 

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