I go through periods of thinking there really is no hope only existing. But it's been almost two
years now since anyone has passed away. Lost 5 family members in 2.5 years and watching
the failing health of another while sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the side lines of
watching the rest of other family members cope. Thanksgiving was tough, got through the
day okay, but the time after seems harder. Tired of feeling crappy, lost it today with a
family member, they said something insensitive and I lost it. I do this around holidays and
anniversary dates............rage. I know I am feeling down and I try to be gentle with myself
but then I find myself in this unreasonable state and then I just want to keep fighting. I know
its wrong, I am tired. Started this thread with and the idea of hope, because I know where
my thoughts and emotions go when I get to this point. I turn in on myself, I dont know how
to get through some of these periods. I don't want to fall into despair.
years now since anyone has passed away. Lost 5 family members in 2.5 years and watching
the failing health of another while sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the side lines of
watching the rest of other family members cope. Thanksgiving was tough, got through the
day okay, but the time after seems harder. Tired of feeling crappy, lost it today with a
family member, they said something insensitive and I lost it. I do this around holidays and
anniversary dates............rage. I know I am feeling down and I try to be gentle with myself
but then I find myself in this unreasonable state and then I just want to keep fighting. I know
its wrong, I am tired. Started this thread with and the idea of hope, because I know where
my thoughts and emotions go when I get to this point. I turn in on myself, I dont know how
to get through some of these periods. I don't want to fall into despair.