How’s Your Therapy Going?

[dandelions]

that sounds great @A_J_R ! my intensive group is very supportive too (for bpd) but it is an ongoing thing where new people come and old people leave. someone just left and we both wanted to keep in touch - but on zoom, I didn't want to share my email with everyone. hoping there's still a way to get contact info. we'll see...

 

[A_J_R]

that sounds great @A_J_R ! my intensive group is very supportive too (for bpd) but it is an ongoing thing where new people come and old people leave. someone just left and we both wanted to keep in touch - but on zoom, I didn't want to share my email with everyone. hoping there's still a way to get contact info. we'll see...

We had people coming and going too. It was hard sometimes. Some of them I didn't necessarily get along with too, but it was good to share that kind of grief with someone who was in the same boat. I hope you can stay in touch with that person.

 

[dandelions]

We had people coming and going too. It was hard sometimes. Some of them I didn't necessarily get along with too, but it was good to share that kind of grief with someone who was in the same boat. I hope you can stay in touch with that person.

might happen. and if not now maybe when in person resumes.

 

[dandelions]

I sometimes go into a more dissociative state during a very emotional session as well. It can be really overwhelming to confront the really hard stuff. But it's not forever, if you keep at it, you can heal and it can get easier. It seems like you've got a safe place to do that which is great.

kinda eagerly look forward to it and dread it at the same time.

 

[MisterBGone]

lots of intense sadness these days and it somehow surfaces toward the end of my walks in the park every day. let's see what today's therapy brings - 3 hours away.

Oh, Wow?!? That is a really long time (or ways) a way: (I don't think I could handle that communte, "these days!")
But it's a small sacrifice to make, if it pays off in the end, my friend! Just might need a B & B, or is it AirN~B? (bed & breakfast..;D)

 

[dandelions]

how's yours? how's mine?

well, mine... they got to work on me the time before last and they made me cry. I don't think they realized. I certainly wouldn't let on... my nature is to keep it well hidden. what is most troubling is its left a lingering bitterness as if they feel I'm making a wrong decision in the direction I want to and am taking which all the more makes me believe my lifetime will never reach that elusive (maybe even just brief) happiness I've been searching for.

I know someone is bound to tell me that this group therapy must be wrong for me and to find better but I know that what they seem to be saying is the same sentiment I will find anywhere else.

I do believe that I need to go where I'm already going and then do my healing from there. yet I do also feel I'm drifting into a different realm. I'm only hoping some of the people I know already will still be in reach and wanting to be.

 

[HappyKitty]

whats there to talk abt at therapy when I’m running out of bad things to talk about?😂

 

[Kiwi2016]

I've been in individual talk therapy for 3 years and have found that its effectiveness has diminished with having to do it over the phone and also I used to have an hour drive to and from which I now realize gave me time to think before and after rather than just doing it at my lunch hour in a parking lot...so it is still a safe place to vent but don't feel like I am making as much progress as I should

 

[dandelions]

I've been in individual talk therapy for 3 years and have found that its effectiveness has diminished with having to do it over the phone and also I used to have an hour drive to and from which I now realize gave me time to think before and after rather than just doing it at my lunch hour in a parking lot...so it is still a safe place to vent but don't feel like I am making as much progress as I should

I've noticed benefits and shortcomings to both in person and zooming. but I do agree that the time spent on the way does help with thinking about it and feeling a little bit prepared. also zoom from home inhibits what I can say for fear of being overheard. we just did a first attempt at in person a few days ago. it was very nice to discover that the group (its group therapy I'm taking about) are real people!

 

[Baywasp]

I started in-person therapy back up on June 21. I'm going to be doing it every two weeks for now. (I was doing my phone appointments once a month the past few months.) I am sort of happy because I hated doing therapy over the phone, but I'm also nervous. Last month was my first time meeting my current therapist in person, so I'm not exactly sure how she'll be, but I'm still nervous. My last therapist made me think of ways to be more social and be exposed to more people, and I always hated having to think of those things. I know it's probably good for me to think of them and to have enough confidence in myself to have these ideas, bring them up, and follow through with them. But I have trouble with that. I have a tendency to want to depend on someone in a way, so I want to have my therapist tell me what to do, then I do it and get a gold star for being a good client? What I was doing with my phone appointments felt so much safer-- to be using my sessions to update her on my life and just talk, more than directly addressing my problems, even though deep down I know that's perhaps mostly aiding with stagnation.

 

[Waves]

Just got done with session 4 hours ago. I told her I have nothing to live for. She said . . . Nothing. Ironic

 

[sinking_ship]

I've been back in person for a month or so now, which is better.

 

[dandelions]

my intensive program will gradually all be in person. that will be lots of travel like nearly 4 hrs a day for 75 minutes of therapy five days a week. I better get really sane for all the work I'll be putting in to it.

 

[Kiwi2016]

my intensive program will gradually all be in person. that will be lots of travel like nearly 4 hrs a day for 75 minutes of therapy five days a week. I better get really sane for all the work I'll be putting in to it.

That is a lot of travel time but can also be useful to think or decompress eg music on super loud and singing...wishing you good luck with the transition

 

[Kiwi2016]

I've been back in person for a month or so now, which is better.

Yes my therapist is also starting a hybrid so could do in person glad you are finding the transition good

 

[Kiwi2016]

Just got done with session 4 hours ago. I told her I have nothing to live for. She said . . . Nothing. Ironic

Sorry to hear this ...have you tried to talk with her and if so to no avail have you considered looking for someone else...sending hugs...

 

[Kiwi2016]

I started in-person therapy back up on June 21. I'm going to be doing it every two weeks for now. (I was doing my phone appointments once a month the past few months.) I am sort of happy because I hated doing therapy over the phone, but I'm also nervous. Last month was my first time meeting my current therapist in person, so I'm not exactly sure how she'll be, but I'm still nervous. My last therapist made me think of ways to be more social and be exposed to more people, and I always hated having to think of those things. I know it's probably good for me to think of them and to have enough confidence in myself to have these ideas, bring them up, and follow through with them. But I have trouble with that. I have a tendency to want to depend on someone in a way, so I want to have my therapist tell me what to do, then I do it and get a gold star for being a good client? What I was doing with my phone appointments felt so much safer-- to be using my sessions to update her on my life and just talk, more than directly addressing my problems, even though deep down I know that's perhaps mostly aiding with stagnation.

I can so relate to what you are saying as I too tend to like concrete objectives and also have found over the phone it is just a casual-like conversation rather than a focused discussion if that makes any sense...sending you good thoughts for the transition.

 

[dandelions]

there's another thing that's been going through my mind.

this past Monday during my in person individual therapy, I was talking about the dismal state of my life and lack of actual connection for my whole life. my therapist actually paused to tell me how sorry he was about the state of my life and absence of (that which my life is lacking).

on the one hand that was nice for him to care enough to say it. you do think of a therapist as a caring person but they do also need to remain aloof so saying it is a nice gesture. but on the other hand it hurts so much like i’m actually really being believed about what i’m saying about my life and it becomes a confirmation of the horridity of my life! it makes me want to run away.

my first therapist did the same. with her we had this constant conversation with me saying that a therapist really should be a machine - like a box that just has the right words to say if saying anything other than mmm hmmm actually becomes necessary.

with the things she always said it got me very emotionally connected and ask any therapist and they will say that this is a good thing and it just needs to be ”worked through”. but it bleeping hurts and we never did work through it. she maybe thought we would, but we didn’t.

then things started to get bad and then i went into intensive therapy so i could not see her for what i thought would be just the duration, (and also before that a horrible hospital stay) and when my insurance changed i lost the intensive and her too! it really is so f’d u the way it could work out. and when my present intensive therapist stopped to offer sympathy it reminded me about my former therapist and all that went wrong and it kind of rekindled all my bad feelings. now he’s on vacation and i will not be able to even see him in group to tell him about this pain for 2 weeks. f’d u…

 

[Waves]

Sorry to hear this ...have you tried to talk with her and if so to no avail have you considered looking for someone else...sending hugs...

she is pro bono. Why I stay.

 

[Angie]

I had my first in person session in over a year yesterday. It was great. I miss so much doing telehealth. But am glad it is an option.

At this stage we are addressing current issues, and not past trauma as we've done all that years ago. I still find my therapist usually right on with her insights into whats going on with me.

I really appreciate her.