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How’s Your Therapy Going?

Lumos

Well-Known Member
Therapy session this morning. Was actually really helpful even though it didn't go the way I had planned and I ended up talking about painful early traumatic abuse memories. Still sat here wondering how she got those out of me! But I'm grateful as she handled it like a pro. And I feel some weight has been lifted.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
It's going pretty good, have been doing this daily practice pretty regular and it helps so much! Writing out my fears and resentments while dysregulated as helped me to turn it around pretty fast, even while in a triggering situation, such as the dr office. I have never before had such a tool at my disposal that works so well and the results were immediate. I'm not saying that everything got magically better, its still a struggle, but at least i have something to do thats productive to my recovery
 

dandelions

me
SF Supporter
did i say? did i tell? on approximately january 7, 2022, my intensive therapy ended. at that time the organization running it had the decision to make, do i graduate and move on to the next phase of the program or get kicked out. they chose kicking me out. i don’t fully understand their reasoning except that they do not recognize my efforts as being the kind of efforts they expect for this program. if that is the case, all i can say is that they did not try hard enough to understand all the things i have so much difficulty trying to express. that’s life i guess. now i’m back to my former therapist and once a week talk therapy. i was made very happy by her when she told me she’d be ok with knowing me as a friend had i not been a patient first. i believe her, so its very happifying for me. but once a week is only once a week when i was having 5x a week in individual, dbt, group therapy, psychiatrist and another informational/therapy group. and even all that was only beginning to scratch the core of the issues in me. so that is how my therapy is now presently going.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
having 5x a week in individual, dbt, group therapy, psychiatrist and another informational/therapy group. a
Its like a sort of withdrawal, like leaving hospital after an extended stay. Its terrible they kicked you out, you'd think mental health "professionals" would be able to recognize someone having a hard time at expression.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
I think i have gleaned all I can from the youtube videos I was watching, been writing and meditating trying to stay consistent but its difficult. I feel stuck again, like now what? now where to go? how i am supposed to recover on my own is beyond me, but how am i to go on like this? really wish life was like the movies and some famous dr or therapist will just magically show up and cure me for free.
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
The last time I've been to therapy was about 2 years ago. I have no idea what kind of therapy it was. No one paid a damn attention to see how I was freezing and extremely anxious in an small air-conditioned room, not the therapist nor my parents whom she demanded to see. I voted in 2018 and somehow I was deemed not old enough to make a decision on my own in 2019?

Every single therapy session was about the therapist asked me a bunch of yes/no questions. "Man up", she told me sometimes when I couldn't even answer properly. Thanks to her, I have a cringe almost every time someone or me mention therapy, and of course, daily suicidal thoughts and feelings, for example right now.

My therapy ended with lies, as I could not pay for any further humiliation.

What must I do for a decent therapist? How much money do you want from me for such a piece of information? I WILL PAY, because I might kill myself by next month. I cannot take it anymore. No one else cares. I put up a mask on and keep functioning, until the end, an outsider's end.
I dont know your diagnosis, but if you want to understand what might be happening to you have a look at Irene Lyon's youtube channel. If you start with somatic therapy your body will help you.
Also in terms of finding a therapist try to find somebody whose speciality is in the area of your diagnosed problem.
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
I think i have gleaned all I can from the youtube videos I was watching, been writing and meditating trying to stay consistent but its difficult. I feel stuck again, like now what? now where to go? how i am supposed to recover on my own is beyond me, but how am i to go on like this? really wish life was like the movies and some famous dr or therapist will just magically show up and cure me for free.
Try to do the opposite for a second and let it go. Watch Irene Lyon's channel and maybe start doing Feldenkrais from youtube. At some point you will need somebody to guide you, but it might be easier if you understand what is happening.
If you are suffering from anxiety, forget meditation for now, because it will have the opposite effect. (Irene explains it as well as she is a nervous system specialist).
 

dandelions

me
SF Supporter
I think i have gleaned all I can from the youtube videos I was watching, been writing and meditating trying to stay consistent but its difficult. I feel stuck again, like now what? now where to go? how i am supposed to recover on my own is beyond me, but how am i to go on like this? really wish life was like the movies and some famous dr or therapist will just magically show up and cure me for free.
yeah!!! there's this classic image of the dedicated practitioner who is not stopped by his supervisors' narrow minds; is so understanding that he realizes the patient needs all that overtime help he so selflessly gives and will do anything anything any time to support the patient on the otherwise long lonely journey and even though the patient may seem reluctant, hesitant, and ungrateful, somehow, when all seems so hopeless, that one telling event finally happens and eureka, the cure is at long last in reach and mental suffering evaporates. me next!!! or you next @Astrid78 or anyone here. let it just happen already for someone anyone.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
Try to do the opposite for a second and let it go. Watch Irene Lyon's channel and maybe start doing Feldenkrais from youtube. At some point you will need somebody to guide you, but it might be easier if you understand what is happening.
If you are suffering from anxiety, forget meditation for now, because it will have the opposite effect. (Irene explains it as well as she is a nervous system specialist).
I'm always confused on how one does the whole "let it go" thing, people say this to me, yet i just don't know how. I'll check out that channel on youtube, I've been impressed with much of what I have already seen and i am willing to try just about anything.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
yeah!!! there's this classic image of the dedicated practitioner who is not stopped by his supervisors' narrow minds; is so understanding that he realizes the patient needs all that overtime help he so selflessly gives and will do anything anything any time to support the patient on the otherwise long lonely journey and even though the patient may seem reluctant, hesitant, and ungrateful, somehow, when all seems so hopeless, that one telling event finally happens and eureka, the cure is at long last in reach and mental suffering evaporates. me next!!! or you next @Astrid78 or anyone here. let it just happen already for someone anyone.
Perhaps i will make a movie depicting the realities, the cold, hardened professional who certainly wont be wasting any time on a patient who could get better, if they wanted to.
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
I'm always confused on how one does the whole "let it go" thing, people say this to me, yet i just don't know how. I'll check out that channel on youtube, I've been impressed with much of what I have already seen and i am willing to try just about anything.
Sorry, I know it is a stupid cliché. What I am trying to do is that you mentioned that you did so many things from youtube, searched for solutions, etc.
Imagine what would happen if you stop focusing on solving your problem and just be happy in the here and now.
What would you tell yourself to do now if you were your best friend?
(This trick helped me for a long time until I was able to find therapy and help.)
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
PS. with Feldenkrais and somatic therapy the magic is with your body, but I still believe you need some sort of guidance.
The idea is that if you free somatic anxiety from your body it will free your mind as well. It works indeed, but on the way there are a couple of things you need to understand incl how to stay with strong negative feelings.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
Sorry, I know it is a stupid cliché. What I am trying to do is that you mentioned that you did so many things from youtube, searched for solutions, etc.
Imagine what would happen if you stop focusing on solving your problem and just be happy in the here and now.
What would you tell yourself to do now if you were your best friend?
(This trick helped me for a long time until I was able to find therapy and help.)
I see what you are saying, the thing is I need to focus on my problem, its trauma i struggle the most with, how the abuse I went through as a kid now affects me as an adult, things like triggers and emotional dysregulation I need to figure out how to deal with it, so I can make friends and have healthy relationships, learn to be normal. And hey, thanks for replying with this, i appreciate you taking the time.
 

Angel38

Well-Known Member
I see what you are saying, the thing is I need to focus on my problem, its trauma i struggle the most with, how the abuse I went through as a kid now affects me as an adult, things like triggers and emotional dysregulation I need to figure out how to deal with it, so I can make friends and have healthy relationships, learn to be normal. And hey, thanks for replying with this, i appreciate you taking the time.
I agree that you need help and solutions, I am not trying to downgrade the importance of your problem: my advice means that from time to time we need to let it go: we cannot be focused 100% of the time. Our brain needs a little bit of break to bounce back and regain its energy and then you can go back.
Irene and Feldenkrais and for a few sessions a psychologist therapist helped me, but as you go along with the therapy you will be likely to fall back a couple of times. On Irene's youtube channel there is a playlist for a few short exercises to start with. The next useful lesson I got was to observe/note whatever comes up when doing these exercises and stay with it. Stay even with negative feelings.
 

Lumos

Well-Known Member
I've had some helpful sessions since last time I typed here. I felt my therapist avoided a particular topic a few times in the past but, yesterday she seemed keen to discuss it more and that made me feel better. We don't have much more time left, maybe 4 sessions. I will miss her. I'm grateful for the help she's given me and the progress made (which I didn't realise I'd made until now).
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
I'm going to talk with my gp about her recommending someone, I would like to get a ptsd service dog as I think this will not only help me where I need it, but also give me some validity. I don't have a sense of emotional safety and think a dog would help me in this, been reading a lot about what these dogs do and think it would be nice to have something that can make me feel safe, whatever that may be, the thought of having a dog to provide a barrier to the world seems very soothing to me, they can be trained to lead me away when I dissociate into a black out like state, or prevent me from entering one at all. Its quite amazing all the things a dog can be trained to do and will do, everything I have read says these dogs are very dependable.
Ironically when one is mentally ill and acts like a mentally ill person, one is presumed to be "faking it" or "doing it for attention" and my personal fav "could get better if you really wanted to" and if one is high functioning and can appear normal its even harder for people to see you as "ill" and not normal at all, so I'd like the validity of having a dog, with a little scarf proclaiming to the world, that yes, I am disabled mother fuckers, because people will believe a dog over me.
 

Astrid78

Spoonful of sugar will help the medicine go down
I've had some helpful sessions since last time I typed here. I felt my therapist avoided a particular topic a few times in the past but, yesterday she seemed keen to discuss it more and that made me feel better. We don't have much more time left, maybe 4 sessions. I will miss her. I'm grateful for the help she's given me and the progress made (which I didn't realise I'd made until now).
Its nice to be able to have a therapist who actually provides something, I am glad you have found this to be helpful:)
 

foreverforgotten

Quiet Observer 🦋
SF Supporter
I have therapy tomorrow after class...
He doesn't think I'm that weird. He agrees times are shit for everything. And that everyone is struggling... We talk about housing and me afraid of homelessness a lot.

Its not the end of the world if I have to work 2 jobs. And study online. With barely any sleep.
He thinks I will survive. But I don't feel like I will...
"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for".
Yeah.... But I feel so drained. It feels so impossible.
 
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