How’s Your Therapy Going?

[dandelions]

So, I am no longer seeing anyone.
I told the last worker that I had a method at home and was afraid I would get impulsive and use it, she prescribed me a new medication and sent me home.
It frustrates me that I reached out in my own mentally ill way and was ignored. Especially since what I was afraid of did happen and when I told her the next day, she called the cops and fretted about how she was going to lie in her notes.
And now she won't work with me, I'm worried about running out of meds before I find someone else who can prescribe them.
Being sent away all the time isn't helping with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Its like I will never get better again.

so many times it starts to seem like seeking help is just being "unruly" or something. being open about a problem is taken as needing to be sent off somewhere because you are probably dangerous.

ideas on mental illness are so rooted in the dark ages and so many people are not able to open up their little minds.

I was once (8 years ago) accompanied to the ER voluntarily by my at the time therapist - she offered and I accepted - and she even stayed with me awhile. I was going to be admitted at another facility a half hour away. finally she left and I continued to wait in the ER. I believe I spoke to a few doctor etc and they very kindly told me about being put in an ambulance and sent to the other place. nothing seemed problematic and I was always cooperative. I was left alone again for I don't remember how long until the ambulance people came. they had a "purchase order" thing. put me on a gurney and strapped me down rather excessively. not tight but uncomfortable and plopped those papers on top of me. I was left alone again which gave me the opportunity to work my way to holding the papers so I could read it. I was described there as combative. this is how someone voluntarily going to a hospital seeking help is viewed. I am a rather meek person. I just accepted that piece of info and laid motionlessly on the gurney until they finally moved me and took me to the other hospital. combative person would probably gone wild.

fortunately this was only the ambulance people. the hospital was like a luxury hotel. (except that there was no confidentiality once I was released a month later). had my employer not been following those same confidentiality laws that the hospital violated, this incident most likely would have been career ending.

 

[Astrid78]

so many times it starts to seem like seeking help is just being "unruly" or something. being open about a problem is taken as needing to be sent off somewhere because you are probably dangerous.

ideas on mental illness are so rooted in the dark ages and so many people are not able to open up their little minds.

I was once (8 years ago) accompanied to the ER voluntarily by my at the time therapist - she offered and I accepted - and she even stayed with me awhile. I was going to be admitted at another facility a half hour away. finally she left and I continued to wait in the ER. I believe I spoke to a few doctor etc and they very kindly told me about being put in an ambulance and sent to the other place. nothing seemed problematic and I was always cooperative. I was left alone again for I don't remember how long until the ambulance people came. they had a "purchase order" thing. put me on a gurney and strapped me down rather excessively. not tight but uncomfortable and plopped those papers on top of me. I was left alone again which gave me the opportunity to work my way to holding the papers so I could read it. I was described there as combative. this is how someone voluntarily going to a hospital seeking help is viewed. I am a rather meek person. I just accepted that piece of info and laid motionlessly on the gurney until they finally moved me and took me to the other hospital. combative person would probably gone wild.

fortunately this was only the ambulance people. the hospital was like a luxury hotel. (except that there was no confidentiality once I was released a month later). had my employer not been following those same confidentiality laws that the hospital violated, this incident most likely would have been career ending.

I'm always deemed combative at the er, simply for refusing to put on a hospital gown lol this also determines the level of depression I have, if i refuse and have to be restrained I am having a severe episode of depression, if I comply my depression is only at a moderate level lol
I disagree with mental health patients being sent to the er. Your experiences and mine wouldn't happen in a mental health center, with trained professionals, certainly not as often.
I'm glad it worked out for you with your employer, having a confidentiality break like that is horrible.

 

[dandelions]

I'm always deemed combative at the er, simply for refusing to put on a hospital gown lol this also determines the level of depression I have, if i refuse and have to be restrained I am having a severe episode of depression, if I comply my depression is only at a moderate level lol
I disagree with mental health patients being sent to the er. Your experiences and mine wouldn't happen in a mental health center, with trained professionals, certainly not as often.
I'm glad it worked out for you with your employer, having a confidentiality break like that is horrible.

sadly/happily i’m “retired” now, but as a result of the incident i was not able to look the HR lady at my job in the eyes for the next few years since she stood there at the time (when i returned to work) reading the whole report. confidentiality f**k !!!

 

[Astrid78]

reading the whole repor

what in the actual fuck?

 

[dandelions]

what in the actual fuck?

thank you

 

[Harmony]

EMTs also need muuuch better training. I have a seizure disorder and they told me I had to go to the hospital when I had a seizure in my home or they were going to call the cops. For what??? I was of no harm to myself or others and the dick EMT kept pressing my sister and me asking "what did she take?" alluding to us doing illicit drugs together. Please!!! My sister said I had epilepsy but they were bent set on bringing me to the hospital. I'd venture to say it was not for my own welfare but because they were at my house for 1/2 hr + trying to convince me to go. I ended up in the back of the ambulance with some 250lb dude still asking me "what did you take?" FFS broaden your horizons and educate yourself moron. Then I sat up to get air as I was understandably anxious beyond belief. He pushed my neck back down on the gurney. What the hell did he think I was going to do. I was scared shitless. And I am positive I was in no way physically or verbally aggressive.
If that should ever occur again my Dr said just state you are refusing treatment, sign the paperwork and call me instead. They can't make you go and you don't have to.

 

[dandelions]

• this past thurs, I’ve used up all insurance authorized sessions w/my present therapist.
• per my request, she is requesting more sessions.
• she and i have discussed my finding a new therapist with expertise in necessary areas.
• she understands and is ok with this bc she knows i have (a) special issue/issues.
• we both know how next to impossible it is to find a therapist due to insurance and $$$
• I’ve already had a few disappointments - and it generally looks hopeless
• for the most part, therapists don’t take insurance & only say they accept out of network
• in reality, they don’t do out of network bc they don’t like to fill out forms.
• strangely, my therapist is ok w/forms. just wish she was more aware of the special issue.
• not sure who to hate - insurance companies, the whole healthcare industry or therapists.
• the hate question does exclude my present therapist of course. she’s like a friend.

 

[dandelions]

my insurance company provided me with 3 referrals. I had to stay on the phone with them for an hour and a half to make sure they understood that I am not looking for a psychiatrist and I also tried to speak with a healthcare professional rather than a customer service representative who only says what is in the script of answers to questions. this is because I don't want just any therapist off the list, but one with relevant experience.

strangely they have no way to do this. apparently I need to get three or so at a time and call each one myself to see if they have the experience. one by one, hour by hour, day by day. or I can go to the Psychology Today list and find those with the experience and try to beg them to see me out of network since any therapist who is qualified and charges $250 - $450 per 45 min does not stoop to accepting insurance.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

🙄. Ugh. So frustrating.

 

[dandelions]

🙄. Ugh. So frustrating.

in-bleeping-deed

 

[Astrid78]

charges $250 - $450 per 45 min

Damn, its like $50-$100 where Ilive, perhaps thats why I have been having so much trouble in finding a good one lol

 

[Astrid78]

still waiting on that referal, its for psychiatry so I'll be seeing an actual psychiatrist which is probably a good thing, I think i am out of the league of the therapists here, and the local cmh won't see me (they petitioned me a few years ago for leaving a hospital, in which the security cameras proved I had never left, so I called the judge on them)
hopefully a real dr will be more competent because I have lost all hope in ever getting past this latest episode of depression. My gp has agreed to prescribe me meds, even though she doesn't want too, she gave me a rather large supply, including refills and i know this isn't rational but a part of me feels like this is a sign, like she is saying "it didn't work last time, so try these instead"

 

[MAC0]

Had my first appointment yesterday i wrote about in its own post but to summarise it seemed to go ok they did not explain everything fully which left me wondering but got my next appointment on this following monday will see how it goes

 

[dandelions]

out of the league of the therapists here

it seems so easy for a therapist to back out of the committment when the going gets rough. i wonder if anyone thinks ethics should apply to that. i just wonder - idk. but there are is a lot of stupid in ethics at present time that i think should change too.

 

[Aves]

I’ve just started a two year course of SCM (structured clinical management). I’ll be doing one to one sessions with a psychiatric nurse once a week and then it will go eventually to group sessions with other people with bpd. I know I will engage with it because of my ability to focus on something I really want to do. I just feel scared of finding out the person I really am under all the masking I’ve done since childhood.

 

[MAC0]

I can feel you i have put on another personality to the world since my nerves issue started as a kid as i was sure people would not want anything to do with the scared nervous guy i really am

i still only show the real me when i am alone

 

[Aves]

I can feel you i have put on another personality to the world since my nerves issue started as a kid as i was sure people would not want anything to do with the scared nervous guy i really am

i still only show the real me when i am alone

I was a very anxious and nervous child too. I used to watch other children and then go away and copy what I observed because I didn’t like that I was so “different”. I think it’s sad that society makes us feel like we can’t be our authentic selves.

 

[MAC0]

I was a very anxious and nervous child too. I used to watch other children and then go away and copy what I observed because I didn’t like that I was so “different”. I think it’s sad that society makes us feel like we can’t be our authentic selves.

Yea i had a serious nerves issue still do from hearing my drunk dads fights and violence till i was the age of 13 the personality i put on is still me but its me turned up to 1 million i would do anything just to fit in to be what i felt people would like

while deep down the real me is an insecure emotional mess who checks doors and windows are locked 10 times and has to do the routine each day and who has missed out on so many opportunities because of fear

i am hoping my therapy long term can help me with this as well as my issue now but at 44 now it might be ingrained to much

 

[Aves]

while deep down the real me is an insecure emotional mess who checks doors and windows are locked 10 times and has to do the routine each day and who has missed out on so many opportunities because of fear

I can so relate to this, I have routines that I need to do in order to feel safe. And I feel like I’ve put so many limitations on myself over the years (and still continue to do so now) that have stopped me from doing things.

i am hoping my therapy long term can help me with this as well as my issue now but at 44 now it might be ingrained to much

I like to think that things can change no matter how old you are but I can understand that you feel that way because it’s been going on for so long for you. I feel that way a lot too and I’m 34 but I’m trying to see what happens with the therapy. I also think that some things we do in therapy make more of a difference than we realise.

 

[MAC0]

m 34

I remember as a kid everyone took it as I was a problem child because I had no real talent for school or at that point I could get myself to learn I got better later and got qualifications but wish I had done better back then but anyway they gave me all the tests was I dyslexic no but then I had one teacher who sat me down and saw the issue and recommended therapy I even remember going and I had 3 appointments and as soon as they wanted to bring Mum into as she had lived it also she stopped the sessions and I never went back biggest regret I have

not sure if you get the physical side of it my nerves will kick in on anything say doctors appointments job interviews just going out side and it stops me sleeping and makes me have sickness and diorama symptoms just my bodies way of stopping me doing stuff even with this I have a hospital appointment that depending on NHS waiting times will lead to surgery to fix me but going to that first appointment is going to be a big issue for me I will end up going but I will be a wreck

I hope the therapy they offered works for you I think its what they offered me the normal talking sessions and something that they said would change the way I deal with any situation I find myself in