How Are You Feeling Right Now?

I feel sad and hurt like my heart is broken & my soul is destroyed. I feel judged and exhausted from being judged. My grown children even judge me now. They look down on me. I feel like a waste of space and air. I have PTSD and bilateral tarsal tunnel syndrome. I feel not good enough. I’ve always felt that way. I’m tired of never being enough for anyone. Recently when I realized how my daughters viewed me (crazy, not to be taken seriously) I felt any and all hope leave. It broke me.
 

MisterBGone

ReaLemon
SF Supporter
The winter brings solace to these moods... thanks for your hope.

I suppose at some point I just have to pull myself out of it. (I think it’s a little more complicated/complex than that - to navigate; but you’ve got the right attitude, or spirit! :^)

Thanks for complimenting my writing ability. That seems to leave with my depression as well. (How interesting. . . I mean, not in a good way necessarily for you. For me, ironically, it is the exact opposite. I become borderline catatonic; or simply unable to communicate, barely able to speak in almost equal parts across all formats.)

Don't worry.. ha... I don't have anyone to tell.


How are you doing? You're always on here asking about everyone else. I hope you're doing well.
Well, now... See— I just neve r know quite how to answer these sorts (or( types of
Questions! ;^D

there was an article or an essay or letter, whatever written & pended (yes, I know they’re the same thing, but bare with me. . ;))—by Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps recently on ESPN. He has become something of an advocate for MH/MI as of late - since opening up about his difficulties with it. In it, he expressed his challenge s faced during the pandemic (taking it out occasionally on his wife, verbally.. : ) but what r wives for ? ; ))
And the jist or gist of ten article, was, I think that when people greet us during the day and ask, “how are you doing?” Thaf we with mental health illnesses don t tell them precisely / exactly / & explicitly how, why & etc we feel. While the point he made is relevant , in term so f truth tell inf & therapeutic benefits for us. It does not serve th e casual everyday interaction of the asker any favors. Because they basically don’t care to hear the answer. And most certainly not while passing one another on the street or in the hallway, and so on. . . :^D Capisce?!.( ;
Hope I don’t screw thus up Sabin like last time—where everything stayed shaded in the “black.” ;)
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
I'm really sorry *sadhug I relate. I get anxiety too and its hard to tell the difference between how bad reality actually is and how much of it is just our heads messing with us. Harder when it's both combined. I also have a bad ongoing situation and anxiety to make me feel worse. Nothing's impossible though, things can change. I hope things can get better for you soon in one way or another ♥ maybe you'll be able to think of something to help the situation, something you haven't even considered yet *hug
I keep looking for that way, thank you... And best wishes for your situation too *hug
 

Auri

🎸🎶Metal Star🎵🥁
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Awful. Hugo my rat finally let me pick him up today and I had to put him in the carrier with his brothers so I could clean the cage. When I was done, I opened up the carrier and put one back but I wasn't going fast enough because the other two climbed out and started running around the shelf under the cage. Hugo was doing everything in his power to avoid me, so I ended up having to grab his tail so he wouldn't get away. I know that's really bad for them and can hurt them. Nothing happened, but I still feel really bad.

Plus I feel like I'm not bonding with my rats as much as I should, and maybe like I made a mistake in getting them. Makes me feel even more guilty.
Parenting is tough. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy to protect your kids. He won't understand because he's a rat, but he's already forgiven you. You're doing your best, and you'll get there. *hug
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Feeling sad, upset by things I have no control over and can't improve, and a little adrift.
Hi there, I'm sorry you are feeling this way, keep talking to us here, we understand how hard things and get and we have no control over it or we lose control of the situation.

My advice? Create a thread and get some of the support you need. SF will never let you down *hug
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
Anxious, unfocused... Too much happening, nothing depending on me but destroying my life. And I know that we shouldn't worry about things that don't depend on us but how? If it depended on me, I would do anything, not having that chance is the reason why I am like this! Because the things that make me want to die don't depend on me, but affect my life till this point, how could I say "oh, that's none of my business, everything's fine"?
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Great. Super great today. Feeling very positive, things are improving even more and I'm learning every day and every day is a fresh day. Loving the breeezzzze from that...🌈

There are some really amazing and caring people in this world, screw the selfish and scum who use people to get what they can out of them and then disappear when they no longer can take advantage, we don't need them, let's just pretend they aren't there. I have great admiration for people who genuinely care about how someone is. I vote to stay in the world for the good will, genorisity and friendliness, I know a lot of people here on that radar, keep it up, ye're amazing. A few people in that zone are in real life too. I'm blessed and lucky. ❤💕
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I feel lonely. and I keep hearing birds chirping outside it makes me feel anxious. I wanna sleep but I keep hearing birds chirping it makes me feel anxious like it'll be too late and it'll be the next morning already.. I'll try going to sleep anyways though. I'm so lonely.. I want friends that like the same kinda things that I like.
Hi @ShyGuy What are those kind of things that you like?

Sorry you were lonely and anxious. Anxiety is always a tough one but from my own experiences what I do is, put on a relaxation video on youtube while trying to sleep, there's a huge selection and they are awesome. Have a lovely day/night :)
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I feel sad and hurt like my heart is broken & my soul is destroyed. I feel judged and exhausted from being judged. My grown children even judge me now. They look down on me. I feel like a waste of space and air. I have PTSD and bilateral tarsal tunnel syndrome. I feel not good enough. I’ve always felt that way. I’m tired of never being enough for anyone. Recently when I realized how my daughters viewed me (crazy, not to be taken seriously) I felt any and all hope leave. It broke me.
Hi @Arina

Welcome to the forum :) I'm glad you joined, there are others like myself who have PTSD too here, I'd encourage you to stay and make a thread and talk about your issues, people with PTSD might share their own tips on how to deal with things like flashbacks etc.., only share as much as you are comfortable with, you are not alone, not while you are a part of SF.

Thoughts are not facts. I am saddened you feel so bad, let me just tell you this is a very safe forum to talk on, friendly and warm and highly moderated. You may feel like you are judged in real life, that won't happen here, just assuring you :)

Wishing you the best and again, a warm welcome *hug
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I feel lonely. and I keep hearing birds chirping outside it makes me feel anxious. I wanna sleep but I keep hearing birds chirping it makes me feel anxious like it'll be too late and it'll be the next morning already.. I'll try going to sleep anyways though. I'm so lonely.. I want friends that like the same kinda things that I like.
You really can't avoid those types of noises unless you live in a bubble. If you were able to get over it, I bet it would help you make friends. Whereas if you keep complaining about things like birds chirping when most people have way bigger problems than that, it probably makes them not want to talk to you.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Anxious, unfocused... Too much happening, nothing depending on me but destroying my life. And I know that we shouldn't worry about things that don't depend on us but how? If it depended on me, I would do anything, not having that chance is the reason why I am like this! Because the things that make me want to die don't depend on me, but affect my life till this point, how could I say "oh, that's none of my business, everything's fine"?
That is very rough. I honestly don't know what to advise but want you to know I read this and I feel for you. Unfortunately in life a lot of things are not in our control but you can get through it by keeping on sharing and pouring your thoughts and feelings out because it might provide relief, you're a lovely person @Jolene sorry you feel like this today. Keep taking ok? *hug
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
That is very rough. I honestly don't know what to advise but want you to know I read this and I feel for you. Unfortunately in life a lot of things are not in our control but you can get through it by keeping on sharing and pouring your thoughts and feelings out because it might provide relief, you're a lovely person @Jolene sorry you feel like this today. Keep taking ok? *hug
Thank you so much... *sadhug At least here I feel understood. Because many people out there is "if it's out of your control, why do you care?". Well, because I do! I have emotions! If I could be affected only by stuff depending on me everything would be easy, but the most important things of my life depend on another people, is not possible to change that.
These are being rough days (years, months, weeks... But now I'm in the worst part so far, and it will keep getting worse) so I'll probably be here more than usual because I can't focus on anything... At least I can vent here. Thank you a lot.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Thank you so much... *sadhug At least here I feel understood. Because many people out there is "if it's out of your control, why do you care?". Well, because I do! I have emotions! If I could be affected only by stuff depending on me everything would be easy, but the most important things of my life depend on another people, is not possible to change that.
These are being rough days (years, months, weeks... But now I'm in the worst part so far, and it will keep getting worse) so I'll probably be here more than usual because I can't focus on anything... At least I can vent here. Thank you a lot.
Awww I felt so sad reading that, you do have SF for relief, I understand relying on others is VERY hard, can take an emotional toll until you get the issues addressed in some way, do you want to share what those things you can't control are, it might help to get it off your chest, always here for you ❤ fingers crossed that these feelings will fade soon 🤞 Sending you warm supportive hugs *hug *console
 

ShyGuy

Well-Known Member
You really can't avoid those types of noises unless you live in a bubble. If you were able to get over it, I bet it would help you make friends. Whereas if you keep complaining about things like birds chirping when most people have way bigger problems than that, it probably makes them not want to talk to you.
sorry. I do have bigger problems. One of my friends messaged me saying they hate the world cuz they hear birds chirping when they go to bed and that it causes them to want to be mean to me, but later they asked to be my friend again and we became friends.

Today I woke up from hearing loud hammering noises upstairs, and now I feel tired. I bought ear plugs with my social worker but I don't know where they are.. I think they're at my extended family's house.

Anxious, unfocused... Too much happening, nothing depending on me but destroying my life. And I know that we shouldn't worry about things that don't depend on us but how? If it depended on me, I would do anything, not having that chance is the reason why I am like this! Because the things that make me want to die don't depend on me, but affect my life till this point, how could I say "oh, that's none of my business, everything's fine"?
I know a bit how you feel.

I feel sad and hurt like my heart is broken & my soul is destroyed. I feel judged and exhausted from being judged. My grown children even judge me now. They look down on me. I feel like a waste of space and air. I have PTSD and bilateral tarsal tunnel syndrome. I feel not good enough. I’ve always felt that way. I’m tired of never being enough for anyone. Recently when I realized how my daughters viewed me (crazy, not to be taken seriously) I felt any and all hope leave. It broke me.
I know a bit how you feel.

Someone that's like a sister to me kinda seems to view me as someone that can't be taken seriously and someone that I thought was my friend it turns out views negatively about me too.

It's always good to have hope. Things may get better!
 

Jolene

Well-Known Member
Awww I felt so sad reading that, you do have SF for relief, I understand relying on others is VERY hard, can take an emotional toll until you get the issues addressed in some way, do you want to share what those things you can't control are, it might help to get it off your chest, always here for you ❤ fingers crossed that these feelings will fade soon 🤞 Sending you warm supportive hugs *hug*console
Thank you... *brohug
Yes, SF is a relief. My friends are there for me too, but sometimes I can't really express my feelings. For example they don't know that I want to die, I can't tell them that. And even if they are always supportive, there are days that the "don't worry for that, you can't control that thing" hurts. I know that they mean good and the answer is not always that, but when it is, I can't express how anxiety is killing me, I don't want them to get worried. Here we are all in the same boat and it's different.

Thank you for being there and for the hugs, I really need them.
 

Brân

i don't like me either
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I keep hearing birds chirping outside it makes me feel anxious
Is it all noise that makes you a little crazy?

I have/had misophonia, it's a bit better now, but it could be something to see the doctor with. For me I had certain noise triggers that just made me angry, to the point where I had to put headphones on or remove myself from a situation from fear of getting unpleasant.

Doors slamming, people talking outside while I'm inside, people chewing, the sound of cutlery hitting plates, sound of other people's music - especially from cars, even someone breathing a little too loudly could upset me hah.

It's better now I'm aware of the issues and know how to deal with them though - definitely get those earbuds at least!
 

Angie

Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I feel at a loss, like not knowing what to do with myself. I've been buying things online (its yarn, I'll use it) but usually when I buy a lot I'm not in a good place.

I texted my therapist to ask her for a cancellation appt. if she has any. I had hoped to make a month between appts.
 

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