How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[nicktheundoer]

Unhappy and gloomy. No dough and no hope.

I hope things take a turn for good..hugs

 

[nicktheundoer]

I met my friend after my 8 months abroad and she told me "ur face is ruined" because of the acne scars on my face (which acc also existed before I left, she is just stup*d and blind.)
I always wonder what people like this have their brain consisted of??? Do they possibly think I am BLIND and cant see my own face in the mirror or am unaware of the existence of acne on my face or what??? She really fu*cked with my mind in a great way. And STILL, objectively speaking based on conventional standards, I am prettier than you in every freaking way. So stfu

You're beautiful..don't worry.. 😊

 

[nicktheundoer]

My sister said that she had a seizure over the weekend. She never had one before, but that's worrying.

Oh I'm so sorry..I'll pray..hugs 🫂

 

[nicktheundoer]

still spiraling but looking at both sides of the coin today

mike

Hugs Mike..You were always there for people..You will feel peace soon,I believe..

 

[1964dodge]

Hugs Mike..You were always there for people..You will feel peace soon,I believe..

thank you

mike....

 

[nicktheundoer]

I don't think going into details would help. I am not okay today

Strong hugs from me..I hope you feel better..

 

[nicktheundoer]

Isn’t life just so so hard? You try to be a good person. Work hard. Work through trauma. And yet. You still end up in a ditch. My relationship has broken up. He has just cut me off. I have no family my parents passed away so did my sister. I lost my job. I’m interviewing like crazy with no job on the horizon. I feel unseen by my friends. I have no one & nothing. And have had enough of this so called thing called life.

You matter to us. I hope your interview goes well..All the best..Don't ever forget that you're a good person and you're valued...hugs

 

[nicktheundoer]

Went to my writing group's social gathering's last night. This is the group where the organizer rejected me for my mental health diagnosis (which is actually wrong but that's a whole other story). Anyway, she and 2 other people were there (supposed to be 6 people but 2 cancelled) and it was pretty good. We had a good time talking about books and writing and various things. But I can't help feeling a bit sad still that she has rejected me as a friend, and I feel like she will only be seeking to confirm her bias, so will tend to see me in a negative light. But there's nothing I can do about it so I don't want to dwell on it but it's hard - I even dreamed about her.

Sorry for that..hugs..

 

[nicktheundoer]

I know how you feel

🥺🥺

 

[nicktheundoer]

I feel in need of permanent sleep.

so sorry you feel that way..Hugs..I hope you can feel more happy..hugs..

 

[nicktheundoer]

No friends. My parents are mentally-ill and cruel. No work history and 32. Rent is outrageous. Shelters are awful. I am slowly giving up.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that..I hope you can find more joy in life..Hugs..please share things if you feel like it..hugs

 

[nicktheundoer]

It's got to be over 10 yrs ago a surgeon told me to take it out or everything will get worse. I think it's time to schedule a surgery with my doctor. The problem was I had troubles a few years ago, my doctor sent me to a different surgeon, and even though it was obvious I had sludge and big gallstones, he said my symptoms meant i didn't need surgery, and this is about 7 yrs after being told I must get it out. It was googling cancer symptoms that scared me. Unexpected wieght loss, I have that, I've dropped another ten pounds without trying... and the running to the bathroom (sorry if tmi)...
Thanks for asking @Livelife!

I'll pray for you..

 

[nicktheundoer]

nobody worry i'm doing fine enough

mike

 

[nicktheundoer]

not doing so good i seem to be spiraling down the drain. i haven't taken my lorazepam in ages but i'm back on them again

mike

 

[nicktheundoer]

I don't know where else to put this. I wanted to die many times in my life. Now I'm worried about my health. I didn't know leaving the gallbladder in too long when i was told it should come out could cause cancer. I'm not saying i have cancer. But something is really wrong, I can't eat without stomach issues. Nothing stays in. Hopefully it's just a virus but I'd been told to get this gallbladdr out sooner... I had to google it...

I'm not ready to die. My younger son needs me, and last winter when I went away my older son said he needs me. My doctor just went away for two weeks. I'll wait and book an appt. I just want my sons to be ok, content, but it seems a real struggle for them. I'd still like to grow older with them and see their lives unfold into something greater for themselves with a lot of love in their lives.

Hey..I'm so sorry..my prayers with you..Hugs 🫂 🫂

 

[nicktheundoer]

I am so with you this Mike. Life only seems to get worse.

My asthma is flaring. Nothing seems to help. Am having major coughing fits. Boss still wants me to go to the office more often to cover for her favorite. Well, fuck both both them.

Talk show host basically stating that if us old goats cant afford medical care, then we should crawl in a hole and die. Another one saying he wish we would so Social Security will be around when he is old enough for. Kamala Harris saying we need to reduce the population to save the world. I am not sure this world is worth saving.

This world is indeed worth saving because there are people like you..

 

[nicktheundoer]

Frustrated, disappointed, angry, tired...it's been a long day

Hugs

 

[nicktheundoer]

I don't know why but I often have intimate dreams about my ex-husband and that was over 20 years ago and we're not even friends. It really shakes me up. This man ignored me and it trickled down to my children and I had a lot of repairing of my relationships to do.

It leaves me alone in the middle of the night questioning my life and how much longer I want to live.

 

[nicktheundoer]

Guys,

Got some AMAZING news today. My brother's rectal scans and biopsy results came back, and his cancer is gone! There's a tiny lump of scar tissue apparently, but the biopsy was negative for any malignancy. So, the radiation and chemo appear to have destroyed the cancer.

He meets with the surgeon this week and they will tell him if there's a need to remove the small lump of tissue that's left. But he is unlikely to need the colostomy bag which of course is a BIG deal.

He is thrilled and it's still sinking in and he might not even need surgery.

Wow..great news..God bless you..

 

[nicktheundoer]

More or less the same as when I last posted in here yesterday - confused. Also torn and worried but also some less negative things too, enjoying playing my game and watching a show I like so trying to just stay as positive and hopeful about things as I can I know it will all be ok, somehow.

Sending lots of big, loving hugs and peaceful, positive energy to everyone here, today and always

Thank you so much for the hugs..hugs to you too.. 🫂 🫂