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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Doing alright really. Work platform crashed after 5 minutes so I took advantage and went out for a run before it got dark. Downside is I'll be working this evening but evenings tend to see more productive anyway. I think I'm finally shaking off the diazepam. At least, my dose is now super low (2mg twice a day) and today is the first time I haven't had shakes trying to cut out the morning dose. I feel fine without so maybe today is the day to come down to 2mg at night only and then jump off. Other than that work is busy enough and going very well, sleep has improved, and for a change am not dreading Christmas in fact I am looking forward to 18 days off in one go 🤯 (though I'll probably do some remote work here and there for bonus holiday rates - if I feel like it!). Can't believe the difference between now and this time last year. Things can change! Just going to chill for a bit before my evening stint kicks off with a remote meeting. Have to go into the office tomorrow and Friday but it's doable!
like life sucks lol. i'm having my pain spike early today which really sucks. this is one of the days i have to pick my wife up from work so i have to limit my pain meds because i have to drive. in 5 or 6 hours i can treat it more aggresively.
i complain about my chronic pain and illness all the time which makes me feel like a self centered crybaby sometimes lol. but it isn't all bad news. i am so lucky to live in a first world country so i can get medical care and the meds i need. in a third world country i would have ctb by now.
when i tell people things can get better if they keep fighting i'm sincere. when they reduced my opioid pain meds my pain shot through the roof. i still suffer uncontrolled pain at times but i can always knock the pain down in time. i have a lot of different meds, a tens unit, and mmj. these days i am happy for any reduction in pain. i'm also fortunate to have a great doctor that always works with me. an example is when i wanted to try a muscle relaxant he finally agreed to try, with it being a little help i wanted to increse the dose from 5 mg twice a day to 10 mg twice a day, he compromised to 5 mg 3 times a day.
it doesn't really matter what kind of pain a person is in emotional or physical pain is pain. and it doesn't matter how bad that pain is, if it bothers a person then it's legitimate, we don't compare pain, there will always be someone better off than you and worse off than you. with a little hard work and a lot of help from SF my emotional pain is very low and my mood, even during pain spikes, is generally good. i have gotten a lot better that is why i say to people tp keep fighting. you may still have issues but life can get better. if you read all of this you are special lol
mike
i complain about my chronic pain and illness all the time which makes me feel like a self centered crybaby sometimes lol. but it isn't all bad news. i am so lucky to live in a first world country so i can get medical care and the meds i need. in a third world country i would have ctb by now.
when i tell people things can get better if they keep fighting i'm sincere. when they reduced my opioid pain meds my pain shot through the roof. i still suffer uncontrolled pain at times but i can always knock the pain down in time. i have a lot of different meds, a tens unit, and mmj. these days i am happy for any reduction in pain. i'm also fortunate to have a great doctor that always works with me. an example is when i wanted to try a muscle relaxant he finally agreed to try, with it being a little help i wanted to increse the dose from 5 mg twice a day to 10 mg twice a day, he compromised to 5 mg 3 times a day.
it doesn't really matter what kind of pain a person is in emotional or physical pain is pain. and it doesn't matter how bad that pain is, if it bothers a person then it's legitimate, we don't compare pain, there will always be someone better off than you and worse off than you. with a little hard work and a lot of help from SF my emotional pain is very low and my mood, even during pain spikes, is generally good. i have gotten a lot better that is why i say to people tp keep fighting. you may still have issues but life can get better. if you read all of this you are special lol
mike
If anyone wants to see my status I posted a thread on the “my story” sub forum.
As for how I am doing now- better but still in a bad place. By that I mean that I just don’t feel like myself, as in I could act out on an impulse to do something I normally wouldn’t. Due to my obsession with suicide, I am scared I might ctb without properly thinking it through. However I am getting the appropriate professional care for this episode.
As for how I am doing now- better but still in a bad place. By that I mean that I just don’t feel like myself, as in I could act out on an impulse to do something I normally wouldn’t. Due to my obsession with suicide, I am scared I might ctb without properly thinking it through. However I am getting the appropriate professional care for this episode.
i hope the professionals can help you. it may also be a good idea to write a list of why you can't commit suicide. it would also help to have a time limit that you have to wait. for me it's 24 hours. so between having to wait and that list i'm pretty safe and it prevents me from acting on impulse
mike.....
mike.....
Alone. No drs, therapists, family or friends to call. If I call the crisis li e I'll get picked up by police and locked in hospital. I hate it there. It's not safe!
How is it the abusers in my life always have family and friends? It's like when I was a kid and my dad would take us out. Everyone thought he was so wonderful. My husband is the same, go figure.
I'm so fucking done with this bullshit, how can it better as it progressively gets worse? Im Sorry but I just can't believe the hype anymore.
How is it the abusers in my life always have family and friends? It's like when I was a kid and my dad would take us out. Everyone thought he was so wonderful. My husband is the same, go figure.
I'm so fucking done with this bullshit, how can it better as it progressively gets worse? Im Sorry but I just can't believe the hype anymore.
