How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[1Lefty]

reluctant, maybe that's not the right word

I see my psych doc tomorrow, and I want to reduce the anti-depressants and mood stabilizers that I'm taking.

I'm doing ok, and she and I have talked about how common it is, that people often want to reduce their medications, or stop altogether, when they start to feel better.

The particular level of meds seems to be working, but there also seem to be more side effects to be navigated. I think I have been ok before, with less medication. I think she'll agree to lower the doses or make some other modifications. She's agreed to before, though not enthused to do so, but acknowledging that I'm an adult with free will, and she can't force me to do anything.

I do kind of like where I'm at, just wish it could be like this with fewer meds.

peace

 

[AvidFan]

Groggy. I had to go to bed early last night as I was just done. Took a while to get to sleep and woke at 4am but went back to sleep and stayed that way until the alarm went off. Makes a change from turning the alarm off and getting up in frustration! According to my watch I slept (or was at least in bed) for 11 hours 50 minutes. Not sure if I'm feeling the catch up yet but am still on my 2nd coffee.... (and it only counted 45 minutes deep sleep out of nearly 12 hours which I'm not sure is accurate or not!)

 

[Lane]

I'm wishing I was not alone. I can't seem to shake off being depressed. Today was a wasted day. I wasted it.

I understand that feeling well @UrbanRose. You always have us here at SF.

 

[HappyKitty]

I know me and my 2nd brother are very distant and dont talk and the fact we stayed in same house without our parents... it has always been our normal.... and cooking has been my new hobby lately.... I know I do part time position and my brother does full time sooo on days I'm not working when theres left over... I actually quite appreciate my brother has been eating what I cook... Like when he got back home and his dinner is already there.. 😂 its like a divorce couple...😂😂😂😂

 

[Bergerac]

I know me and my 2nd brother are very distant and dont talk and the fact we stayed in same house without our parents... it has always been our normal.... and cooking has been my new hobby lately.... I know I do part time position and my brother does full time sooo on days I'm not working when theres left over... I actually quite appreciate my brother has been eating what I cook... Like when he got back home and his dinner is already there.. 😂 its like a divorce couple...😂😂😂😂

hahaha! this made me laugh.

 

[HappyKitty]

hahaha! this made me laugh.

ya my cousin laughing at me: lolll is like ure prepping for your husband who just got back home from a rough day at work...😂

 

[Bergerac]

ya my cousin laughing at me: lolll is like ure prepping for your husband who just got back home from a rough day at work...😂

yes, you've taken on that role lol a good little wife

 

[puffymilk]

Pretty good a bit sleepy

 

[Windhover]

i've been keeping busy enough. Working out enough. But all that it doesn't prevent me thinking what might have been.

It's not rational I am aware of that, to miss someone who was not being a good partner.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty well. Then my mind switched to awake and the sadness washes over me. I am not safe.

Still broken, heart sad.

 

[HappyKitty]

yes, you've taken on that role lol a good little wife

hahahha😂

 

[HappyKitty]

anyway on serious note ive been blogging bck abt my hearteu in the diary portion its nice keeping track

 

[Aurelia]

So I got incredibly upset after a sudden mood swing, and a voice started talking to me. I heard "I can feel what you feel. You're strong for tolerating such anguish." I remembered that God knows what I feel, and it made me feel better. I felt less alone.

 

[1964dodge]

Thanks. I started this in July 2020. It's kind of crazy to think that there are actually people on here who knew me back then, and when I split up with my husband, and when I was worried about him not coming home all the time, and even before that. I've been on SF since 2011. I came here because I legitimately wanted to die. Didn't believe in God. Was kinda bitchy, too...lol. Sorry about that. I've grown a lot.

i have been with you on your journey since a little while before you left your husband. you knew that was the only way out of your misery but it was a hard choice, a choice i didn't think you'd make. i'm proud of you for gaining the courage to do it.

you had other issues that put you behind the eight ball. i was hopeful but what you wanted to accomplish was almost impossible. you have worked so hard for this and deserve every success you earn. i have no doubt when you get out of school you will land a great job that you like and make a difference. very few people could accomplish what you have done and i am very proud of you

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I'm wishing I was not alone. I can't seem to shake off being depressed. Today was a wasted day. I wasted it.

i hope your depression can be brought under control. have you talked to your doctor? he may be able to help with meds/therapy. even if you have you can still tell him you're still suffering depression. and it's ok to waste a day with or without depression

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I had a nostalgic moment earlier this morning. I went to sleep around 6pm and therefore awoke by 2 something am. So I found myself at 3:30 in the morning, thinking about what it was like to be dopesick and waiting for 6am to come around so I could go down and get more dope. Needless to say, it wasn't a pleasant memory. Every minute felt like an hour, despite trying to distract myself, watching a show. I haven't felt that desperation and anxiety in years, thankfully.

 

[1964dodge]

This is for all of SF: You are all extremely brave for going on your own unique wellness journeys and continuing to have hope that things will improve. Despite your own troubles, your selfless kindness and compassion toward others speaks for itself. I will pray for you all and I hope every single one of you finds the peace of mind and happiness that you long for.

thank you

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

i've been keeping busy enough. Working out enough. But all that it doesn't prevent me thinking what might have been.

It's not rational I am aware of that, to miss someone who was not being a good partner.
I woke up this morning feeling pretty well. Then my mind switched to awake and the sadness washes over me. I am not safe.

Still broken, heart sad.

im sorry you feel so sad

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

doing really well today

mike

 

[tearsinmycoffee]

Honestly? I'm really, really not okay.

I'm not sure if I'm still hormonal or if something is actually wrong, but just about everything is making me rage. The only time I'm not raging or feeling miserable is when I'm watching Drew, sleeping, or playing my switch.

No matter what I do, I can't seem to find any relief.

 

[Searchingforhope]

Honestly? I'm really, really not okay.

I'm not sure if I'm still hormonal or if something is actually wrong, but just about everything is making me rage. The only time I'm not raging or feeling miserable is when I'm watching Drew, sleeping, or playing my switch.

No matter what I do, I can't seem to find any relief.

Sending much love your way. I empathise entirely. I feel like I could kill the entire world today with a side glance.