How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[chiastic_slide]

Horribly depressed.

Did get out of the apartment to go to a thing, even though it felt impossible. But found out that the traffic is messed up because of stormy weather. Difficult to get anywhere.

 

[Lane]

Upset. Went out to dinner with my son last night and he's not the gentlest person. He told me my oldest daughter is pregnant, due in June. That I can almost deal with. But he really talked about me reaching out to her to try to reconcile, reiterating how she doesn't really need me but if I want to see her even once or twice a year I need to try. I cried as I usually do over this situation. It's been ten years or so since we've spoken, however she did invite me to her wedding. Thanks for listening SF friends.

 

[puffymilk]

I'm doing pretty good

 

[MisterBGone]

Horribly depressed.

Did get out of the apartment to go to a thing, even though it felt impossible. But found out that the traffic is messed up because of stormy weather. Difficult to get anywhere.

Good job on making it out to do that then... I'm sorry for the depth, or the degree of the depression @chiastic_slide --& let's all hope the winter weather is coming near the end!

 

[MisterBGone]

Upset. Went out to dinner with my son last night and he's not the gentlest person. He told me my oldest daughter is pregnant, due in June. That I can almost deal with. But he really talked about me reaching out to her to try to reconcile, reiterating how she doesn't really need me but if I want to see her even once or twice a year I need to try. I cried as I usually do over this situation. It's been ten years or so since we've spoken, however she did invite me to her wedding. Thanks for listening SF friends.

I'm sorry lane, this is all just so asinine to me! Why is he (being) like this? Is he the one who stays/lives with you? Or does he see you more often than he does she? Maybe that's got something to do with it then. That he downplays your pain, and you side in all of this, and overemphasizes and sympathizes with hers. As it is heightened, then in his head, and in his mind. Which of course, brings it nowhere more near reality. The bottom line is: you know the deal. And you know the truth. What is real. And how it is. At the end of the day, that is all you can accept. Is that you have done every-thing you can to reach out for quite some time. That she hasn't returned serve, as much or nearly so often as you, is on her totally, completely, and entirely. He is just casting the fault on you & your shoulders, for whatever reason? Out of frustration. Or maybe it is that he feels he has more control, or ability to influence you, on your end, than he does she on hers (if she is still that bitter, or whatever). Anyway, sorry he hurt your feelings only thing I can say is that a very important detail about him was revealed by you in the beginning. That he is blunt, direct, and frank. When people are this way, on the one hand you appreciate getting more information (hopefully truthful, but in this case it's at least as he believes it, in the here & now anyway, who knows what he'd say deep down inside...) but on the other, they can do a lot of damage, with this abrasiveness, and seeming(ly) lack of 'tact,' in their delivery, and their approaches. So yes, that was a lot to take in & to process all at once, and it is no wonder that you broke down then. Give yourself credit for continuing to put the effort in after all of this time when many other Mothers by now would have said, "Good Bye," & some of them, 'good riddance!'

 

[Bergerac]

Upset. Went out to dinner with my son last night and he's not the gentlest person. He told me my oldest daughter is pregnant, due in June. That I can almost deal with. But he really talked about me reaching out to her to try to reconcile, reiterating how she doesn't really need me but if I want to see her even once or twice a year I need to try. I cried as I usually do over this situation. It's been ten years or so since we've spoken, however she did invite me to her wedding. Thanks for listening SF friends.

I hope he realizes one day, when/if he becomes a parent, how very hurtful this is. If he already is one, then if there was ever an estrangement, he will know what you were going through and I hope, reflect. Sending hugs to you, this is very painful indeed. And on the level of grandchildren, forthcoming, too.

 

[Lane]

I'm sorry lane, this is all just so asinine to me! Why is he (being) like this? Is he the one who stays/lives with you? Or does he see you more often than he does she? Maybe that's got something to do with it then. That he downplays your pain, and you side in all of this, and overemphasizes and sympathizes with hers. As it is heightened, then in his head, and in his mind. Which of course, brings it nowhere more near reality. The bottom line is: you know the deal. And you know the truth. What is real. And how it is. At the end of the day, that is all you can accept. Is that you have done every-thing you can to reach out for quite some time. That she hasn't returned serve, as much or nearly so often as you, is on her totally, completely, and entirely. He is just casting the fault on you & your shoulders, for whatever reason? Out of frustration. Or maybe it is that he feels he has more control, or ability to influence you, on your end, than he does she on hers (if she is still that bitter, or whatever). Anyway, sorry he hurt your feelings only thing I can say is that a very important detail about him was revealed by you in the beginning. That he is blunt, direct, and frank. When people are this way, on the one hand you appreciate getting more information (hopefully truthful, but in this case it's at least as he believes it, in the here & now anyway, who knows what he'd say deep down inside...) but on the other, they can do a lot of damage, with this abrasiveness, and seeming(ly) lack of 'tact,' in their delivery, and their approaches. So yes, that was a lot to take in & to process all at once, and it is no wonder that you broke down then. Give yourself credit for continuing to put the effort in after all of this time when many other Mothers by now would have said, "Good Bye," & some of them, 'good riddance!'

Thanks for your response Mr B. He is very blunt. He also feels he was wronged by me in some ways but still wants a relationship with me. He feels his father is a narcissist so I'm not the only one getting blame. I haven't really done all I can to reach out to my daughter. So Im going to text her I think and apologize for however it is she thinks I wronged her and see if she wants to see me.

 

[Lane]

I hope he realizes one day, when/if he becomes a parent, how very hurtful this is. If he already is one, then if there was ever an estrangement, he will know what you were going through and I hope, reflect. Sending hugs to you, this is very painful indeed. And on the level of grandchildren, forthcoming, too.

Thank you Bergerac, I believe my son is on the Autism spectrum. He has no friends and has never had a relationship at 28. He doesn't know how to make them. He did push me to try to reconcile with my daughter, all I can do is try.

 

[Bergerac]

Thank you Bergerac, I believe my son is on the Autism spectrum. He has no friends and has never had a relationship at 28. He doesn't know how to make them. He did push me to try to reconcile with my daughter, all I can do is try.

That contextualizes things more. Thank you. And yes, he did try and push a reconciliation, but perhaps it's just the details, etc. that he placed wrongly. Thinking of you.

 

[1964dodge]

Horribly depressed.

Did get out of the apartment to go to a thing, even though it felt impossible. But found out that the traffic is messed up because of stormy weather. Difficult to get anywhere.

 

[1964dodge]

Upset. Went out to dinner with my son last night and he's not the gentlest person. He told me my oldest daughter is pregnant, due in June. That I can almost deal with. But he really talked about me reaching out to her to try to reconcile, reiterating how she doesn't really need me but if I want to see her even once or twice a year I need to try. I cried as I usually do over this situation. It's been ten years or so since we've spoken, however she did invite me to her wedding. Thanks for listening SF friends.

i won't tell you what would be best because every issue like this is unique. but i will tell you about me. my brother and i hadn't spoken for 21 years. i had many reasons to not talk to him but after listening to people here that lost relationships or reconciled with siblings got me to thinking. so i finally tracked my brother down 2 weeks ago. i put out the olive branch and we finally talked face to face. first thing i said is the past stays in the past we only move forward from here. so now i'm leaving the ball in hs court but i did try. i'm sure you and your daughter both have legitimate reasons for feeling angry and hurt, but wouldn't it be great to reach out and not only have a relationship with her but your grandchild as well.

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I'm doing pretty good

 

[1964dodge]

not doing so good this morning but i'm sure i'll have a good day eventually

mike

 

[Lane]

i won't tell you what would be best because every issue like this is unique. but i will tell you about me. my brother and i hadn't spoken for 21 years. i had many reasons to not talk to him but after listening to people here that lost relationships or reconciled with siblings got me to thinking. so i finally tracked my brother down 2 weeks ago. i put out the olive branch and we finally talked face to face. first thing i said is the past stays in the past we only move forward from here. so now i'm leaving the ball in hs court but i did try. i'm sure you and your daughter both have legitimate reasons for feeling angry and hurt, but wouldn't it be great to reach out and not only have a relationship with her but your grandchild as well.

mike....

It really would be Mike. I'm so scared to take that first step. But I am going to try. She can be very cold, but maybe it will give her a chance to air out her grievances. Thank you so much for your reply

 

[Astrid78]

not doing so good this morning but i'm sure i'll have a good day eventually

mike

hope you feel better soon

 

[1964dodge]

It really would be Mike. I'm so scared to take that first step. But I am going to try. She can be very cold, but maybe it will give her a chance to air out her grievances. Thank you so much for your reply

you're welcome and i hope and pray for the best outcome. worst case scenario would be she will ignore you so no change but the rewards if you guys could reconcile are more bountiful than i could put into words

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

hope you feel better soon

thank you @Astrid78 , my pain is a bit stubborn today. so since chronic pain is a part of my life all i can do is endure it and not let it destroy me. SF has helped me to learn new coping skills and helped me to put pain in a new perspective. so chronic pain is and always will be a part of my life but it doesn't define me anymore

mike....

 

[AvidFan]

I am awake but should be asleep. Had a really bad couple of weeks unable to do my remote job, it's no big deal as it's contract so I can work or not work as I please, pretty much, have just been trying to let things tick over with the day job. Just going through the days feeling a bit dazed then either not sleeping and feeling rubbish, or sleeping for 12 hours and not feeling refreshed by it. Just going to try to take it easy for the weekend. Drinking coffee and trying to be grateful it's 7.30am and not 4.30am!

@1964dodge sorry you are having some bad days and hope you can have a better day soon

@Lane sorry you have been upset and I hope you can find some resolutions and feel better

@puffymilk glad you have been able to have some good feelings

@seabird hope you are meandering nearer home and well done on your run

@Astrid78 sending you best wishes and hope things are stable for you

@chiastic_slide sorry you are feeling so depressed and I hope the storms, internal and external lift soon

@Bergerac and @MisterBGone thanks for the support you offer others and sending you best wishes.

@Anyone else sending you best wishes and sorry if I missed anyone out.

I've just tried to offer a few token words to the people I see on this page, from my frazzled brain, I don't have much energy to offer much more but wish everyone the best ❤️💚💚❤️💜🤎🖤🩵🩷

 

[Bergerac]

I am awake but should be asleep. Had a really bad couple of weeks unable to do my remote job, it's no big deal as it's contract so I can work or not work as I please, pretty much, have just been trying to let things tick over with the day job. Just going through the days feeling a bit dazed then either not sleeping and feeling rubbish, or sleeping for 12 hours and not feeling refreshed by it. Just going to try to take it easy for the weekend. Drinking coffee and trying to be grateful it's 7.30am and not 4.30am!

@1964dodge sorry you are having some bad days and hope you can have a better day soon

@Lane sorry you have been upset and I hope you can find some resolutions and feel better

@puffymilk glad you have been able to have some good feelings

@seabird hope you are meandering nearer home and well done on your run

@Astrid78 sending you best wishes and hope things are stable for you

@chiastic_slide sorry you are feeling so depressed and I hope the storms, internal and external lift soon

@Bergerac and @MisterBGone thanks for the support you offer others and sending you best wishes.

@Anyone else sending you best wishes and sorry if I missed anyone out.

I've just tried to offer a few token words to the people I see on this page, from my frazzled brain, I don't have much energy to offer much more but wish everyone the best ❤️💚💚❤️💜🤎🖤🩵🩷

Thank you for going out of your way and making an effort to thank us. There was no need or responsibility on your part, to do that. So, it's very much appreciated. Thank you again.

 

[MisterBGone]

I've just tried to offer a few token words to the people I see on this page, from my frazzled brain, I don't have much energy to offer much more but wish everyone the best ❤️💚💚❤️💜🤎🖤🩵🩷

You have done very well, my good sir @AvidFan ! : )

I am awake but should be asleep. Had a really bad couple of weeks unable to do my remote job, it's no big deal as it's contract so I can work or not work as I please, pretty much, have just been trying to let things tick over with the day job. Just going through the days feeling a bit dazed then either not sleeping and feeling rubbish, or sleeping for 12 hours and not feeling refreshed by it. Just going to try to take it easy for the weekend. Drinking coffee and trying to be grateful it's 7.30am and not 4.30am!

Welp? Good news is, it's just past 2:00 AM here. . . (so now worries, on that--there!). ;^) Sorry it's been a rough couple of weeks surely no doubt, not helped by the wildly inconsistent sleep(ing) pattern~ // I think you have adopted a good attitude on things, none-the-less... & your words of wisdom to us all were very nice to read, first thing in the morning (here). Well, it's still "pitch-black," out but you get the deali~O!*~