How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AvidFan]

i had a recharge day. i didn't wake up until around 4 pm. my wife encouraged me to rest today. it does recharge me once in a while

mike

I wish I could do that. I remember in the first days of lockdown in 2020 I went to bed at 6pm one evening, I was totally shattered, and I didn't wake up until 12pm the next day - I was out for 18 hours! I don't think I've ever managed that since, despite feeling I need it. Occasionally I'll get 9-10 hours if exhausted. lately though I've been feeling exhausted and my body is waking me up after 6 hours. Like today, I set my alarm for 11.30am hoping for a long sleep, and woke up at 6.15 with a sure sense I wasn't getting back to sleep. Brain is like a computer that keeps randomly coming out of sleep mode due to some crazy rogue software running. That'll be the anxiety and medication levels fluctuating.

But glad you are able to get that sweet sleep, you deserve it 😃

 

[Windhover]

employed. I guess ideally they'd at least keep the people in rehab safe and off of drugs/alcohol while they're in, but they also seem to have an incentive to give people excessively rosy expectations.

My brothersaid that almost all the patients in there had all the drugs they wanted, while in rehab, brought in or sent to them by their friends. It's kind of a joke, but not a nice one.
The fact is too that people aren't really all that safe while there. My brother swam about a half mile out into the sea, contemplating suicide, and no personnel came after him, no lifeguard, nothing. He thought it was funny, but it is not at all.
These places are as you said, an income generating business.

 

[PrincessPure]

So i failed my exam, despite the fact that I have been studying non-stop. Why did it have to get so complicated?
I mean I can retake it in 2 weeks and again in a month. But still I could have moved forward with exams rather than taking the same.

 

[Angie]

How am I feeling? That is such a good question. Today has nothing stressful. Just a trip to the lab for a blood draw. But I don't feel peaceful. I was so peaceful 6 weeks ago, now its gone.

Medical stuff has me frazzled. I'll need 5 appointments at the vascular surgeon in July, I can't get that off my mind. Its an hour and half round trip to that doctor. I don't know if I have the strength to do that plus the one or two other appointments with OTHER doctors in that city.

Obesity and covid are the culprits. I am only 65. Can't fix long covid, but I have been trying to work on obesity. My weight loss plateaued for 6 weeks and that was so discouraging. It went up and down the same 5 pounds over and over. Part of that is the swelling from the problem in my legs the vascular surgeon is going to attempt to remedy.

Covid gave me the gifts of sleep apnea and sleep hypoxia. I need to see my sleep doctor, but mine closed up shop without letting the patients know or turning the clinic over to another doctor. SO its hour and half trip to a new doctor later this month.

Managing my money: I suck at it. A kind friend has helped me with a budget and is helping me stick to it. Problem is I developed the habit of buying something when I'm upset (that or eating). So I am having spending withdrawal in addition to trying to eat better. But so far June is looking way better than the last 3 months budget wise.

Drama where I live. I go downstairs to the common areas often. I have coffee with friends early and of course I go out to smoke. The problem with that is tenant drama. There are a couple situations here that have people's backs up and they are fighting and growling. This makes me SO anxious.

sorry to write a book, there is so much on my mind this morning at 5 am!

 

[AvidFan]

How am I feeling? That is such a good question. Today has nothing stressful. Just a trip to the lab for a blood draw. But I don't feel peaceful. I was so peaceful 6 weeks ago, now its gone.

Medical stuff has me frazzled. I'll need 5 appointments at the vascular surgeon in July, I can't get that off my mind. Its an hour and half round trip to that doctor. I don't know if I have the strength to do that plus the one or two other appointments with OTHER doctors in that city.

Obesity and covid are the culprits. I am only 65. Can't fix long covid, but I have been trying to work on obesity. My weight loss plateaued for 6 weeks and that was so discouraging. It went up and down the same 5 pounds over and over. Part of that is the swelling from the problem in my legs the vascular surgeon is going to attempt to remedy.

Covid gave me the gifts of sleep apnea and sleep hypoxia. I need to see my sleep doctor, but mine closed up shop without letting the patients know or turning the clinic over to another doctor. SO its hour and half trip to a new doctor later this month.

Managing my money: I suck at it. A kind friend has helped me with a budget and is helping me stick to it. Problem is I developed the habit of buying something when I'm upset (that or eating). So I am having spending withdrawal in addition to trying to eat better. But so far June is looking way better than the last 3 months budget wise.

Drama where I live. I go downstairs to the common areas often. I have coffee with friends early and of course I go out to smoke. The problem with that is tenant drama. There are a couple situations here that have people's backs up and they are fighting and growling. This makes me SO anxious.

sorry to write a book, there is so much on my mind this morning at 5 am!

Sorry to hear you are going through all this.

 

[AvidFan]

So I avoided the emails for 5 hours going in to the emails as just made my anxiety worse - I've received no response whatsoever from one of the key players. I'm now concerned for their well being as it's very unlike them. I may have been better off just avoiding it all altogether. I'm not going to kill myself, I couldn't do that to my family or colleagues, but I fucking feel like it right now, just to make this crap stop. I have to stay alive and feel this shit when I really don't want to. This too shall pass, as they say, but it's going from bad to worse at the moment.

 

[Livelife]

.

 

[MisterBGone]

So i failed my exam, despite the fact that I have been studying non-stop. Why did it have to get so complicated?
I mean I can retake it in 2 weeks and again in a month. But still I could have moved forward with exams rather than taking the same.

Sorry princess~ m/b U've studied Too Hard, on it &/or focused - too much? Do you think... if that's possible! Perhaps the next go-around will come to you much easier, or begin to crystallize and make a little more sense? Hopefully, that is the case, or whatever way in which can allow & lead you to a greater path to success. Try not to get too down about it. Just brush it off, and keep movin' *~>

 

[AvidFan]

Better. So my colleague hasn't actually killed themselves (this is where my mind goes when anxious as fuck and I don't hear from people, I have had colleagues kill themselves in the past so no wonder I go there). And we still appear to be on good terms, despite being embroiled in the same crap from different perspectives. Great. Maybe I'll go take a walk now. I almost had to take my phone out and read the emails walking as walking seems to help the anxiety, but I'd probably have walked into a road.

 

[SillyOldBear]

My brothersaid that almost all the patients in there had all the drugs they wanted, while in rehab, brought in or sent to them by their friends. It's kind of a joke, but not a nice one.
The fact is too that people aren't really all that safe while there. My brother swam about a half mile out into the sea, contemplating suicide, and no personnel came after him, no lifeguard, nothing. He thought it was funny, but it is not at all.
These places are as you said, an income generating business.

I suspect this depends on the facility. My brother had great success at his.

 

[AvidFan]

Dozy. Literally. Put the tennis on and finally relaxed a bit and just nodded off on the sofa, match is 4 hours in now and haven't seen half an hour of it. Grateful for being able to relax a bit - the stress since last week has been awful. All put to the side until Monday now. Hope I can get some proper sleep to enjoy the weekend.

 

[Windhover]

I suspect this depends on the facility. My brother had great success at his.

I'm glad to hear that your brother found a way to get sober. It makes me feel good whenever I hear of a person escaping or conquering, whatever the right word is, for recovery and healing from alcohol abuse. ...and that the facility was a good one. Kind of restores a bit of faith in these kinds of things to hear it.

I think my little brother may have been too smart and been deeply sad for far too long to accept being helped. I hope he is at peace now, in spirit. I miss him so much.

hug

 

[1Lefty]

I'm glad to hear that your brother found a way to get sober. It makes me feel good whenever I hear of a person escaping or conquering, whatever the right word is, for recovery and healing from alcohol abuse. ...and that the facility was a good one. Kind of restores a bit of faith in these kinds of things to hear it.

I think my little brother may have been too smart and been deeply sad for far too long to accept being helped. I hope he is at peace now, in spirit. I miss him so much.

hug

(((hugs))) seabird

peace

 

[Livelife]

Fed up with the American medical system. It sucks and is only getting worse. Probably a plan to kill off all of us sick people.

I've been hearing this for years and it has become believable to me. Government involvements in it are my thoughts on it.

 

[corneredrat]

Stuck, as always. Can't kill myself. Can't stop wanting to kill myself. Just a perpetual limbo.

 

[Livelife]

Stuck, as always. Can't kill myself. Can't stop wanting to kill myself. Just a perpetual limbo.

 

[AmberMarie]

Released! i am so very thankful to all the support i have received. i feel blessed to have come across this place full of amazing "real" people back at the end of December!

 

[MisterBGone]

Released! i am so very thankful to all the support i have received. i feel blessed to have come across this place full of amazing "real" people back at the end of December!

This sounds like something of an Acceptance Speech, or bon voyage/au revoir?? ;/ H'mm. . .)

 

[MisterBGone]

I'm glad to hear that your brother found a way to get sober. It makes me feel good whenever I hear of a person escaping or conquering, whatever the right word is, for recovery and healing from alcohol abuse. ...and that the facility was a good one. Kind of restores a bit of faith in these kinds of things to hear it.

I think my little brother may have been too smart and been deeply sad for far too long to accept being helped. I hope he is at peace now, in spirit. I miss him so much.

hug

It is also quite a beast, to-battle, for one or some @seabird (as I'm sure you know). And no two journeys are likely identical. You knew him well. I'm glad you had him as a brother. And he, you as a sister. I think that, from the little I've read you describe (mostly by how much you both love/d & miss/ed him). He sounds like an incredible, incredible man. And human. Because we draw the unlucky straw, or whatever from the gene pool, or couple that with our environment, whatever the mix. Once we're there. As I've said: it's a bear! I believe... I'm sure he knew, how you felt about him. The more you look into the brain, and the way it functions when in the throes of addiction, which I'm sure you have. The less, we can perhaps tend to shift any sort of responsibility or blame, on say their actions. At least in my mind, that's how or the way in which, it's always operated (my thinking, on the subject; & just as a phenomenon is the wrong word, in terms of tone--but hopefully you know what I mean?). A topic of conversation, then. It must be like being in a submission hold, for life (to some degree). Some can escape it, some cannot. With little rhyme, or reason. Sometimes, it seems~

 

[AvidFan]

Tired, been awake for 17 hours or so, so time for bed and I hope I sleep past 6am! Love to all ❤️❤️❤️