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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I’m seething because I’m reliving events that I can’t change, but I don’t want to change the past. I only mean to distract myself from being as useless now as I was then.
I was just wondering, since I know you drive, do you ever just go out and take a drive to look at any beautiful scenery? Mountains, forests, rivers, the night sky, etc. Maybe it will help a little bit. I know if I could drive, that's what I would probably do.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
I've been through a range of feelings today. About lunchtime today I was feeling dead on my feet and anxious about the fact I was dead on my feet. Worried I'll lose the ability to work. My plan was to just lie on the sofa and doze for 48 hours, but it was making me feel groggy and miserable. So after first thinking about it this morning, I thought I'd try meditating. I've tried a few times over the last few months - 20 minutes here or there, but nothing like the the meditation marathons (3-4 hours) I used to do. I remember how much it used to help me - but like many things, once I felt better, it seemed to get left behind.

I've managed to do 3 45 minute sits so far. The first two I was blown away, I was able to get my anxiety under control and feel the physical part of it dwindling. The 3rd one wasn't so good as I started to drift off to sleep, but great that I felt relaxed enough to nod off a bit, I must try that next time I can't sleep! It certainly lowers my blood pressure - I checked!

I'm feeling tired as I've been up since 6am and my nervous system has been through a lot lately. I don't want to blow it by saying I feel positive or anything, but I do feel I've regained a valuable tool. When I was in my meditation heyday, so to speak, I would be able to enter into stressful situations and make anxiety go away just by breathing - bringing back the calm state of the sessions on a sort of on-the-go basis. This would be incredibly useful right now and maybe it's the kind of deep rest I need as well, so I will try to get back into the hardcore practice. I can't over do things and am still trying to cope with too much all at once so I need to be easy on myself, but at least I feel like some way forward is the tiniest bit possible.
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I've been through a range of feelings today. About lunchtime today I was feeling dead on my feet and anxious about the fact I was dead on my feet. Worried I'll lose the ability to work. My plan was to just lie on the sofa and doze for 48 hours, but it was making me feel groggy and miserable. So after first thinking about it this morning, I thought I'd try meditating. I've tried a few times over the last few months - 20 minutes here or there, but nothing like the the meditation marathons (3-4 hours) I used to do. I remember how much it used to help me - but like many things, once I felt better, it seemed to get left behind.

I've managed to do 3 45 minute sits so far. The first two I was blown away, I was able to get my anxiety under control and feel the physical part of it dwindling. The 3rd one wasn't so good as I started to drift off to sleep, but great that I felt relaxed enough to nod off a bit, I must try that next time I can't sleep! It certainly lowers my blood pressure - I checked!

I'm feeling tired as I've been up since 6am and my nervous system has been through a lot lately. I don't want to blow it by saying I feel positive or anything, but I do feel I've regained a valuable tool. When I was in my meditation heyday, so to speak, I would be able to enter into stressful situations and make anxiety go away just by breathing - bringing back the calm state of the sessions on a sort of on-the-go basis. This would be incredibly useful right now and maybe it's the kind of deep rest I need as well, so I will try to get back into the hardcore practice. I can't over do things and am still trying to cope with too much all at once so I need to be easy on myself, but at least I feel like some way forward is the tiniest bit possible.
*hug*shake
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
So it's my first day at work and it's getting a bit overwhelming but I'm hanging in there. I'm shadowing today but I'm better at learning while doing so I'm not really grasping everything yet and a little nervous because of that. Thank God it's only a 4 hour shift. I've had about two years of isolation and doing absolutely nothing sitting at home, so this whole experience is very new for me, a complete change of routine. I'm on a 15 minute break and so grateful to be smoking a cigarette right now. I've been craving one for the past 2 hours. You all have no idea lol (unless you're a smoker).
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I feel like I watch from the sidelines as everyone goes about their lives. Maybe it's part of getting older.
getting older does suck big time. in most cases we lose financial security and mobility a little at a time. but it's not all losses we get to enjoy poor health and pain a little more every year lol.

there are perks to aging. if you lose some mobility you get to park close to an entrance " when disabled ", you gain wisdom, and you get to look back on the good things in your life and bad memory helps us forget the bad stuff lol. we obviously lose stuff as we age but if we try hard enough our later years can be very rewarding

mike.....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
So it's my first day at work and it's getting a bit overwhelming but I'm hanging in there. I'm shadowing today but I'm better at learning while doing so I'm not really grasping everything yet and a little nervous because of that. Thank God it's only a 4 hour shift. I've had about two years of isolation and doing absolutely nothing sitting at home, so this whole experience is very new for me, a complete change of routine. I'm on a 15 minute break and so grateful to be smoking a cigarette right now. I've been craving one for the past 2 hours. You all have no idea lol (unless you're a smoker).
you will do great , i'm sure of it

mike...*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
my day started off really bad. i was in a lot of pain this morning 10 on the 10 pain scale. i treated the pain aggressively and it came back down to 5 in a couple of hours. the bad part is my daughter saw it. she knows i have bad pain spikes i just don't want to have her see me suffering that much.

besides that i was having a good day. my wife brngs my daughter to dinner for her bday every year and goes to the beach etc. well i know this happens every year so i make sure i have the money put aside ahead of time. well we had the money in the bank so i told my wife to go to the atm. well t didn't work even though i have way more than i needed in the bank. my wife is going to try to use the card today and i hope it works, there is another option. just pissed at the bank, otherwise i'm doing great

mike.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
Well, I made it through my first day. I really gotta learn to deal with my emotions because as soon as I get overwhelmed it makes me want to quit and I can't quit this job. It's all I have right now. I have tomorrow off, though, so hopefully I can regain some energy for next time. It's super hard going from doing nothing to doing something, especially when it's become your comfort zone.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Well, I made it through my first day. I really gotta learn to deal with my emotions because as soon as I get overwhelmed it makes me want to quit and I can't quit this job. It's all I have right now. I have tomorrow off, though, so hopefully I can regain some energy for next time. It's super hard going from doing nothing to doing something, especially when it's become your comfort zone.
Well done on getting through your first day! 😊
 

snails

Useless currently
So it's my first day at work and it's getting a bit overwhelming but I'm hanging in there. I'm shadowing today but I'm better at learning while doing so I'm not really grasping everything yet and a little nervous because of that. Thank God it's only a 4 hour shift. I've had about two years of isolation and doing absolutely nothing sitting at home, so this whole experience is very new for me, a complete change of routine. I'm on a 15 minute break and so grateful to be smoking a cigarette right now. I've been craving one for the past 2 hours. You all have no idea lol (unless you're a smoker).
Congratulations on your new job!! Well done for getting through it.
 

snails

Useless currently
Feeling really hopeful about the therapy service I referred myself to today. I'm so grateful about advances in technology and understanding of circumstances to make something like this possible. I'm worried about the impact if it doesn't work out. I'm fighting the need to sh and really horrible thoughts combined with worse anxiety than usual. Feeling really thankful for re-finding this place and for what I think is a bit of acceptance. You've helped me to come out of a crisis where I was doing things that could have ended my life, start taking medication again (again again), talk a little bit and reach out to this service. I'm still in a mess but so grateful.
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Feeling really hopeful about the therapy service I referred myself to today. I'm so grateful about advances in technology and understanding of circumstances to make something like this possible. I'm worried about the impact if it doesn't work out. I'm fighting the need to sh and really horrible thoughts combined with worse anxiety than usual. Feeling really thankful for re-finding this place and for what I think is a bit of acceptance. You've helped me to come out of a crisis where I was doing things that could have ended my life, start taking medication again (again again), talk a little bit and reach out to this service. I'm still in a mess but so grateful.
getting out of " mess " takes a few things. recognizing we have an issue, making a plan to get help, and most important never giving up. you will do fine, it may take some time but it looks like you are on the right road, just remember to be kind to yourself

mike....*hug*shake*bravo*bravo*hug10
 

snails

Useless currently
getting out of " mess " takes a few things. recognizing we have an issue, making a plan to get help, and most important never giving up. you will do fine, it may take some time but it looks like you are on the right road, just remember to be kind to yourself

mike....*hug*shake*bravo*bravo*hug10
Thank you Mike. I appreciate it. It's a real risk I've taken, being honest to the robots that no doubt process the referrals. Feels good so far, hoping it's the start of some healing.
 

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