How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[nicktheundoer]

I can't move today. I need to go out & get some groceries because I'm running out of food to eat & I need to go out & get my medication from the pharmacy because I'm running out of pills. I don't know what's the matter with me. I just can't get myself moving. I wind up like this sometimes where I can't bear to go out & be seen & be around people. Like some kind of acute, time-limited agoraphobia. Awful.

Sending love 😊😊😊😊

 

[nicktheundoer]

I know I'm totally useless. I cant live anymore

You're kind and nice....that's enough

 

[nicktheundoer]

Heavily anxious. My health is worsening and I have a strong resistance to seeking medial care. There is a huge mental block of avoidance when I know I need to make an appointment. I didn’t work today because I can’t. So I need to get this taken care of so I don’t lose my job.

I don’t even know if I should drive. My partner is asleep after switching to 3rd shift. I have a friend I can call to ask to take me, but I’m anxious about asking. I don’t like asking for help. It’s very hard for me. This has been occurring for several days now, and the feedback loop is exacerbating my mental conditions, specially my generalized anxiety.

I’m also scared to take an Uber. The way I feel makes me need support of someone in my life, but there’s only one person at this time, and they may not even answer the phone.

I feel in a paralyzed state of indecision, so this is all extremely difficult right now. This feels pathetic

I'm sorry....I wish you happiness and recovery....

 

[nicktheundoer]

nvm

😊😊🫂🫂

 

[mosaic hearts]

As a self-proclaimed agnostic/atheist, I remember I used to offend Christians when actually trying to do so. Now, as a believer and servant of Christ, I offend non-believers left and right without trying, but merely stating my beliefs.

Christ said it best, "Remember if the world hates you, it hated me first."

Someone once said,

“You have to do what is right for you. No one walks in your shoes.” - Anonymous

🌷

 

[Windhover]

I'm wondering if feeling useless will kill me in the end.

I've wondered that too, if that might be one of the most despairing, toxic feelings I've ever felt.

You're certainly heartfully wanted here.

 

[Angie]

I've wondered that too, if that might be one of the most despairing, toxic feelings I've ever felt.

You're certainly heartfully wanted here.

Thank you for your kindness

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Broken.

 

[AmberMarie]

Absolutely Livid! And very sad, confused, and extremely overwhelmed at the same time. Constantly in tears right now. And i am Not one to cry... especially around others.

 

[LumberJack]

I’m regretting waking up this morning. I would love to sleep forever. Fall asleep and never wake up. That would be lovely.

 

[AvidFan]

I’m regretting waking up this morning. I would love to sleep forever. Fall asleep and never wake up. That would be lovely.

Sorry you are feeling that way my friend. I for one am glad to know you and grateful for your presence here.

 

[AvidFan]

I appear to have been in a Window of Okayness since I got up today. Who'd have thought stopping the diazepam altogether would a) lead to a better night of sleep (eventually) and b) lead to less anxiety. But that's the case so far. I feel OK right now, in this moment here, and seem to have more of a leash on my negative racing thoughts.

 

[1964dodge]

Broken.

i don't think you're broken but if you are then the love and kindness here will help repair anything that's broken

mike.....

 

[1964dodge]

Absolutely Livid! And very sad, confused, and extremely overwhelmed at the same time. Constantly in tears right now. And i am Not one to cry... especially around others.

i'm sorry that you are suffering so much right now, i hope things get better

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

doing ok i guess

mike

 

[LumberJack]

I appear to have been in a Window of Okayness since I got up today. Who'd have thought stopping the diazepam altogether would a) lead to a better night of sleep (eventually) and b) lead to less anxiety. But that's the case so far. I feel OK right now, in this moment here, and seem to have more of a leash on my negative racing thoughts.

I’m glad you’re feeling better. Getting off the diazepam probably had you feeling less anxious for two reasons. The first being w/d symptoms. The effects of removing a medication are usually the opposite of the desired effect of the med. So with a benzo, you felt more anxious while tapering.

The second being rebound effects. This is dependent on the individual. The rebound effect is due to the nervous system’s response to a given med. The body tries to counter the effects of the medication, but this adjustment persists after the med has worn off.

IDK if this helps at all, but I hope it helps make sense of the emotional roller coaster.

 

[cev77]

Thank you!

 

[AvidFan]

I’m glad you’re feeling better. Getting off the diazepam probably had you feeling less anxious for two reasons. The first being w/d symptoms. The effects of removing a medication are usually the opposite of the desired effect of the med. So with a benzo, you felt more anxious while tapering.

The second being rebound effects. This is dependent on the individual. The rebound effect is due to the nervous system’s response to a given med. The body tries to counter the effects of the medication, but this adjustment persists after the med has worn off.

IDK if this helps at all, but I hope it helps make sense of the emotional roller coaster.

Thanks, yes that all makes sense. My body/brain isn't rebounding from the single daily taper dose. I'm still a little jumpy. I was in my office at home upstairs and aware it was raining last time I looked. I glanced up at the ceiling and on the wall above the curtains I could swear I saw water seeping through between the wall and ceiling, a dark, wavy mark 2 metres across. After a gasp and inspection, it turned out it was just the shadow of the curtains cast by my office light. Turns out the other "stain" in the bedroom at the other side is just part of the patterning, when the light is at a different angle, the whole ceiling is covered in such patterns of dark among the artex swirls. Last week I was convinced the roof was gone and water was going to come through the ceiling. It likely has some issues I need to address eventually/maybe soon but it's not currently letting any water in, which is all I expect of a roof. Still feeling a lot better than I have been, but aware I was feeling great on Sunday and spiralled to SI and all sorts by the Monday. But I'm cautiously optimistic and am able to be in the moment a bit more without panicking that 10 things are all going to go wrong at once.

 

[mosaic hearts]

I feel scattered right now. It's like my thoughts form into little balls of mercury & are falling on the floor.

 

[Aurelia]

I fail at everything I try to do. I don't know what to do anymore. I have everything I need and yet life feels empty. I don't want to be awake for as long as I actually need to be awake. I can handle maybe 8 hours or so, but 12-15 is a lot. Staying up and trying to find something to occupy my time past the 8 hour point starts to feel like hell. And yet getting into the habit of going to sleep early and oversleeping will just mess up my mental health even more.