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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
Just returned from Turkey and Eu like 2 wks ago... and traveling again ard indonesia for a week at least mid-Sept, returned home doing last session of baking class (theres only 5 classes i paid for) on 22/9 hehee and kpop concert on last Sept. 😸

I need my kpins and melatonin with me whenever I travel. err....

Chk chk.' ✨
 

From_Venus

Well-Known Member
I’m just feeling quite burnt out rn :(

I’ve gotten better at my job since the last time I posted about it here, but gosh it’s still so stressful. I’m fortunate to have very, very kind superiors and the chillest vocation the military has to offer, and I feel awful that I’m still struggling. I’m such a weak, incompetent person. I feel so sad that I have to do this for nearly two more years. I’ve been in mandatory military service for just three months so far but it has felt like an eternity. I don’t know what to do about my situation… I could push for a discharge based on mental health grounds or request to be posted to a more relaxed workplace, but my unit already has manpower issues and I don’t want to inundate my colleagues with my workshare too. And I don’t want to disappoint my boss, he’s been so kind to me and I don’t want him to feel like it’s his fault. I feel stuck… there’s just this constant awful feeling I have when I’m at work and thinking about having to do this for two more years just makes me feel so sad. I’m struggling to cope.
 

mosaic hearts

I am we - working hard at getting it together.🦋🐻
I don't want to burden people anymore. I don't want to talk to people about what's going on in my mind & body anymore because when I hear the words or see them on paper I feel so ashamed & embarrassed. The solution is to quit everything. That way I won't be accountable to anyone & I'll be free to act on my impulses & urges in any way I wish. Nothingness will result. No more shame. No more embarrassment. No more guilt. No more fear. No more terror. No more...
 
I WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW. I HAVE A WAY TO KILL MYSELF. HOWEVER, I PROMISED MY PSYCHOLOGIST THAT I WILL BE SAFE UNTIL I SEE HER AGAIN. I SEE HER AGAIN TOMORROW AT 12 O'CLOCK NOON. I WILL TELL HER WHEN I SEE HER TOMORROW I WANT TO DIE AND THAT I HAVE TO DIE. I THINK ABOUT DYING CONSTANTLY. IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME. I CAN NOT LIVE WITH MYSELF ANYMORE. WHY DOES SHE NOT UNDERSTAND THAT? WHY? IT IS NOT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. MY LIFE IS INTOLERABLE.
I'm sorry that your life is intolerable
I hope your psychologist can offer some help

We're here, we're listening to you
Maybe together, we can find reasons to live and ways to live
Please stay safe
You matter

peace
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
I don't want to burden people anymore. I don't want to talk to people about what's going on in my mind & body anymore because when I hear the words or see them on paper I feel so ashamed & embarrassed. The solution is to quit everything. That way I won't be accountable to anyone & I'll be free to act on my impulses & urges in any way I wish. Nothingness will result. No more shame. No more embarrassment. No more guilt. No more fear. No more terror. No more...
You're never a burden here when you express how you feel mosaic hearts. I think it's part of the healing process. Glad that you joined us here in fact. You're a special part of SF and we support you on your journey.
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Great. And weird. Bored crazy so I stayed home today to "work" and the boss calls up to give me an unexpected raise. We talked about workload and I'll be busy finally starting next week! Here I am doing nothing and I get a raise! I figured having a job doing nothing was good enough. My suspicion is that the raise was designed to keep me interested in the company because the company has been losing employees at a high rate. But I will enjoy it while it comes and look forward to retirement at the end of next year (that's the plan).

On reflection I thought the boss was calling me to lay me off. What a surprise!
*shake Congratulations S.
 
I don't want to burden people anymore. I don't want to talk to people about what's going on in my mind & body anymore because when I hear the words or see them on paper I feel so ashamed & embarrassed. The solution is to quit everything. That way I won't be accountable to anyone & I'll be free to act on my impulses & urges in any way I wish. Nothingness will result. No more shame. No more embarrassment. No more guilt. No more fear. No more terror. No more...
I'm so sorry..it's okay..we're willing to suffer with you..that's what brothers and sisters do. Even if it hurts us..we'd pray for you..we'll get stronger together. LOVE❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

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