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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Might be going back to my old company. I asked for a 5% raise to go back - not insubstantial - and the company agreed. So I'm nervous about going back to work and reading the memo of understanding. For some reason I am nervous. I am enjoying my time off but I have yet to pay the Cobra bill which is almost $1k for the month. But it is for almost 10 months - I can suckk it up. Of course I have to tell another company that I have accepted another job. Which I am not good at doing but I'm not good advocating for myself. I'll detail more details and emotions in my thread on my work journey.
I feel such utter despair. I can’t do anything. I’m so exhausted that I’m flailing at work. I’m so screwed. If I tell my provider how it’s going, they might have to call in a wellness check (where the cops show up at your door to take you to the psych ward).
I could probably talk my way out of it, but that’s taking a big risk because the cops may decide to put me on a hold out of an excess of caution. They don’t face any consequences for involuntary holds that are unnecessary, while it would be a problem for them if they left me at home and I chose to end myself that night. So they have no incentive to balance pros and cons, and I really doubt that anyone who would take a job in public safety is sympathetic to the mentally ill.
Ma in rare exceptions, but I cannot afford those odds. Ironically it’s the trauma from being inpatient before driving the majority of my distress. It’s been 10 months and I’m still so angry every day that I get a stomach ache from the adrenaline that has nothing to do.
I’m not going to be able to try a med change as a result. I’m doing what I can with self help, and I’m running out of patience. I’m not upset about anything outside of my thoughts, although I recognize that there is a lot to be upset over. I’m aware that my moods fluctuate, but I’m worn down over feeling like I am doing badly most of the time. I’m losing my fight.
I could probably talk my way out of it, but that’s taking a big risk because the cops may decide to put me on a hold out of an excess of caution. They don’t face any consequences for involuntary holds that are unnecessary, while it would be a problem for them if they left me at home and I chose to end myself that night. So they have no incentive to balance pros and cons, and I really doubt that anyone who would take a job in public safety is sympathetic to the mentally ill.
Ma in rare exceptions, but I cannot afford those odds. Ironically it’s the trauma from being inpatient before driving the majority of my distress. It’s been 10 months and I’m still so angry every day that I get a stomach ache from the adrenaline that has nothing to do.
I’m not going to be able to try a med change as a result. I’m doing what I can with self help, and I’m running out of patience. I’m not upset about anything outside of my thoughts, although I recognize that there is a lot to be upset over. I’m aware that my moods fluctuate, but I’m worn down over feeling like I am doing badly most of the time. I’m losing my fight.
The positive side is that they have proven that they need you, they need others in this case yourself to make the work get done. I would keep peepers and ears open to other options just in case of future events. It proves that the do not consider for rehire doesn't apply to you. Got let go, got called back is a good endorsement about you.
Bleary-eyed. Had a nice time at dinner with a friend yesterday, got in and ended up spotting some lucrative work, ended up working beyond midnight, went to bed shattered, and didn't sleep a wink. Fortunately I made my daily target already from working in the small hours of the morning, so there's not as much pressure on me to put in more hours today, and have some other stuff to do, but it's all pretty relentless lately.