Hi zuzu, I'm sorry that circumstances have not been kind to you. Truth be told, I've been wondering how you were doing... I hope that you can find a way to feel better, and less in distress. You deserve to find peace & happiness, just like any of the rest of us~ / I wish you didn't have to keep having these negative experiences, and/or interactions with emergency services. And that all parties involved, understood more how to handle, or help you. And to just make you somehow feel better. When in such a stressful situation. And on the verge of a crisis. Hopefully, one day you can feel well enough to be open to trusting them once again. If only, for your sake & benefit!* Take care, and Happy Holidays. Mr b