How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[TragicReality]

There is literally Nothing to keep me here any longer! my tears no longer fall as the well is dry. i have not eaten in days nor am i hungry. i know this feeling... existing for others has been reasserted and accomplished. It's dry... meh... non-living... and it's exactly how it is suppose to be for me.

I think you belong here, I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I don't think this is where your story ends. you are so supportive on the forums for others, please be your own best friend now, and take the steps needed to feel better! I'm still on edge about my younger son, but i keep hoping he takes the help out there soon. You'll never not be a mother, there will be times you are needed. And you are more than just a mom, you are an amazing caring smart person. Please take care of yourself and eat something. I was on a medication that takes my appetite away, I quit it this week. Not eating either, just drinking coffee. First thing, eat something that is good for you, like eggs for energy. And drink enough water. That may be a good start to get your emotional health better, I hope you do! hugs

 

[AvidFan]

There is literally Nothing to keep me here any longer! my tears no longer fall as the well is dry. i have not eaten in days nor am i hungry. i know this feeling... existing for others has been reasserted and accomplished. It's dry... meh... non-living... and it's exactly how it is suppose to be for me.

I am sorry this is how it is for you 🥹

 

[AvidFan]

Mixed at the moment. I went to bed and finally got some sleep, I was so tired I didn't even take my sleep cocktail of codeine, valerian and diphenhydramine, but managed to be in bed from about 1am until past 8am without getting up every 5 minutes feeling like I needed something and unable to lie still. I don't feel great, I don't feel well rested and feel shattered, but that night was better than the 9 or 10 nights before it which I'll take as a positive, and if I can cut down on the sleep aids now and get back to some normal sleep, that will be a step forward. I haven't slept for 10 days so one night isn't going to fully charge the batteries, hopefully I can start a better sleep routine now. At least it's Saturday, 2 days off, not going to do much except rest!

 

[puffymilk]

Feeling a bit sick

 

[LumberJack]

I’m angry, about anything and everything. I feel agitated and my brain is going all over the place to find out why. Does it matter? Is having the perfect insight into my distress going to suddenly reveal what I should do about it? What if it’s something that I cannot remedy?

It’s part of life that we will be injured, betrayed, and violated. I wish that weren’t true. There might be human rights, but everyone has been abused at some point, and the perpetrators rarely have to reconcile with their victims.

I might as well be agitated over war, poverty, and disease. It happens, and if I expect fairness from humanity, I will be very disappointed, as I am today.

Maybe I should sit down, be quiet, and feel the feelings. If I am able to release this hellish anger, I will feel better. Yet, I want to hold onto it, and remain damaged. It’s to say, look what you did to me! As if they cared. I’m really more irritated that I didn’t have the skills to avoid these painful situations in the first place.

 

[AmberMarie]

I’m really more irritated that I didn’t have the skills to avoid these painful situations in the first place.

That is one of the largest things i hear about the most. Both from others and myself. How we, as a human, should have been able to avoid or prevent the painful situations. Yet... something i have seen recently mentions the goal is not to avoid them, but to feel them and not allow them to take refuge within us. They must be felt though. Also... we can't predict when something will happen and how it will happen. We can use the skills learned to help us feel and get through it. Loads healthier then trying to avoid.

 

[AvidFan]

Gone a bit tired now.

 

[AmberMarie]

I'm still on edge about my younger son, but i keep hoping he takes the help out there soon.

i know you will be able to keep up the tough love. The hardest step is to start it. Being able to continue is loads easier because it keeps the boundaries up vs building them from nothing.

First thing, eat something that is good for you, like eggs for energy. And drink enough water.

i appreciate what you are saying. i truly do. my medical makes eating very difficult right now and it's just getting worse. When i do try, i get sick. i would rather not deal with it at all. It's just no longer worth it to me. Water... i drink loads of water continuously. Average of 200oz a day. i refill my 48oz water usually 4-5 times a day minimum.

please be your own best friend now

i am so very tired of being the only one i have for support. my support system within me no longer exists.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

I am so much better than I was in the last year or 2. I've recently started a new job which has obviously forced me out of the house for most of the day. The job isn't what I would have gone for if I had choices, nor is the money great, but I realise that this is a good experience for me to work on other life skills. I sometimes have thoughts along the lines of "is this all there is to life?" but overall, I'm being productive, experiencing something new, and I somewhat feel that I'm moving in the right direction.

Even though I am distracted by the new job, I still feel like I don't want anything, like nothing is appealing to me. I still have an unhealthy relationship with junk food, but I have started eating proper meals consistently – because of work – but right now, the only thing that makes me feel good is junk food, I have no hobbies. Yesterday I solved a maths problem which made me feel good, so I'm going to lean into that more. And reading, I've picked that back up.

 

[TragicReality]

Can someone please tell me how to keep up with ''tough love'' with my son? It'd be different if it wasn't winter. It's very very cold out. He keeps crying to me, that I could ''help'' him, meaning, letting him in my new apartment. I cant. He runined the last place i was living at. Every time I hear an ambulance, I'm worried it might be for him. He's threatening suicide all the time. I've been told by police here in this town, I call too much. I know it's likely manipulation, but what if it isn't? What if he tries and succeeds at ending his life? What am I supposed to do?

 

[AmberMarie]

Can someone please tell me how to keep up with ''tough love'' with my son? It'd be different if it wasn't winter. It's very very cold out. He keeps crying to me, that I could ''help'' him, meaning, letting him in my new apartment. I cant. He runined the last place i was living at. Every time I hear an ambulance, I'm worried it might be for him. He's threatening suicide all the time. I've been told by police here in this town, I call too much. I know it's likely manipulation, but what if it isn't? What if he tries and succeeds at ending his life? What am I supposed to do?

We as parents can only hope and pray sometimes. You have taught him well. Yes it's a manipulation tactic... and yes, one should never trust that's what it will always be. However, you do need to trust that he knows what he can do to survive. He is obviously trying to... or he wouldn't be doing what he is doing. So his survival instinct is still working. It's when they go quiet... just like as toddlers... When they are quiet... they are getting into trouble. You CAN do this! You are stronger than you think and stronger than you feel!

 

[SCUK2009]

Like I want to sleep forever.

 

[AvidFan]

Bleary-eyed. Went to bed and was on the edge of nodding off, but after an hour I had to get up and take some valerian, l-theanine, and diphenhydramine. Did get some sleep then but woke up 2 hours before my alarm and got up, since there seemed no way I was going back to sleep. Still, that's a couple of nights with at least some sleep and without being up multiple times a night/multiple hours desperate to fall asleep so that's kind of a win.

 

[chiastic_slide]

Very sad.

Should make some pancakes. A little fun to whip stuff together. Doing something at least.

 

[Cali22♡]

I feel very sad today because i am very suicidal today i am alone and nobody wants to talk with me...


</3

 

[SillyOldBear]

Very down. Very tired. Very much ready to leave this world.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm OK. Starting work stupid early tomorrow and will have to force myself to bed early, but not letting it get me down just now.

 

[cymbele]

Lazy today. I should be exercising but I don’t feel like it. I know that the endorphins would make me feel better but I’m just going to relax for the day. Life has been okay. Always tired though. Coasting through life heading nowhere.

 

[HappyKitty]

wow moonsoon rain and flooding here but wildfire in the US.

 

[Windhover]

@AmberMarie I hope you feel less dried out and that a few new feelings for life come along soon. I am surprised you are drinking that much water, for ex., I read that a 200 lb. person needs about 100 oz. Unless some is heavily exercising all day in warm temperatures, then of course there's a much greater need. I agree with @toomuchreality in that now might be good to shower some self care on yourself, even it it's for shi** and giggles. Are you going on the long drive on a diet of water only? You know what kinds of food you can tolerate. Also, some electrolyte mix in your water might assist in helping you feel better. Being over-hydrated can induce all sorts of nasty effects, even death. I don't know if it's okay to say that here. If it's against the rules I hope a mod can edit.