How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[AvidFan]

I'm on the couch, physically ill, I guess at this level of sadness it wreaks havoc on my immune system. I got dizzy and nauseous yesterday, & despite getting mad & telling it to f*** off, it didn't. I'm supposed to go for a run later but at this point doesn't look likely.

I am grateful for SF

hugs

Sorry you are physically ill. Hope you feel better soon. Looks like we're both on the couch for now (well, I will be later!) 🥹

 

[chiastic_slide]

Exhausted. I was about to write something, but seem to have just been staring at the screen for a whole hour.

Should get up and brush my teeth, and get to bed early. Dentist in the morning, probably with bad news since I haven’t been able to take care of myself very well. But I’m prepared for that.

 

[SillyOldBear]

I'm on the couch, physically ill, I guess at this level of sadness it wreaks havoc on my immune system. I got dizzy and nauseous yesterday, & despite getting mad & telling it to f*** off, it didn't. I'm supposed to go for a run later but at this point doesn't look likely.

I am grateful for SF

hugs

Feel better soon.

 

[MisterBGone]

My oldest daughter responded to my text. She said that maybe we could meet in a few months. By then her baby will be almost one year, but the whole point is to also see my daughter. I have so many memories of when she was a baby, but I'm living in the past. To her, I'm probably just a nuisance, but I still can't understand how she can just discard me like that. I know in her eyes I've done the wrong things, but how about forgiveness? My older son tells me she doesn't need me, she has a good job, her family, money. She's only 30. It's a bit harsh of him to say, I think but it still hurts.

Be happy she's at least responded... & that, at least there's still a, "chance" of it happening: ('the meeting.') :^)
All you can do, is try~*> And by that; I mean. . . ASK~!* ;^) / Because, as they say^ 100% of the shots,
you don't ttake--do'nt go in. Or some-thing, like that~. At least there's hope! // You''ll be able to look=back,
at the end of the day, & say - "Hey, I've tried all~things." And, you never know, once you're in that room with her
She may change her tune. Or give you an opportunity to, I don't know what, I don't want to get your hopes up
or to set unreasonable expectations. Btu you just don't know, waht whil happen once you guys are to-gether,
isa ll I'm saying! : ) It could be really good~ /// best wishes, Lane.

 

[AvidFan]

Today. I mean just, really?

 

[AvidFan]

Finally something went my way today, the cab driver didn't talk to me. Lost a chunk of agreed upon work to some bullshit merchant after turning other work away, so lost out twice, so I couldn't actually afford the cab, but it was freezing and I'd planned it anyway, ordered a pizza en route as I about have the energy to open a box and lift slices to my mouth and that's about it.

 

[vvyvvysyxx]

itd probably be best if i died. i just want this to be over so i dont have to spend another 20+ years regretting every decision ive ever made and trying to accept being lonely and broke and trying to make the best of this pathetic little existence where the best part of my day is eating ice cream or having a fun conversation with an ai bot or finding a video that makes me laugh for a few seconds.

 

[AvidFan]

Absolutely exhausted, can't sleep for shit.

 

[SillyOldBear]

So frustrated and angry about things going on in this world. But there is nothing I can do about it, so really need to stop letting it frustrate and anger me.

 

[Sassy Cat]

So frustrated and angry about things going on in this world. But there is nothing I can do about it, so really need to stop letting it frustrate and anger me.

good luck not letting it frustrate and anger you. I have a lot of that also

 

[TragicReality]

I missed taking my bedtime meds earlier. I just want to sleep for a very long time, preferably days and days, unfortunately that doesn't happen.

 

[puffymilk]

I feel better after waking up

 

[AmberMarie]

My oldest daughter responded to my text. She said that maybe we could meet in a few months. By then her baby will be almost one year, but the whole point is to also see my daughter. I have so many memories of when she was a baby, but I'm living in the past. To her, I'm probably just a nuisance, but I still can't understand how she can just discard me like that. I know in her eyes I've done the wrong things, but how about forgiveness? My older son tells me she doesn't need me, she has a good job, her family, money. She's only 30. It's a bit harsh of him to say, I think but it still hurts.

i think it's amazing the steps you have taken to try and rekindle your relationship. That's often all it takes. Yet don't be disappointed if it takes more work. As you remember back to being a new mother, you were most likely so very protective of your children and would do anything to keep them safe. Your daughter may harbor ill feelings, and that's ok. Just keep working on showing her in time the differences. Don't give up, she will see them. Keep kindness in your hear for yourself as well. You deserve it! That kindness will shine through! It's pretty amazing how it can invade other's as well.

 

[Survivorist]

Really ok - I reduce with the help of my wife my medication. This has effects, of course, But she helps me a lot - so my believe. A nice day to you all - I go to walk.

 

[AvidFan]

Pretty shit. I went to bed at 10pm exhausted, maybe got some sleep 1.30am to 3am, then 4.30am to 5am. That was it. So far total sleep in 2025 is about 12 hours, so averaging a little over an hour a night. Is it any wonder I'm scared I'm going to have a psychotic episode? Only ever had one before, withdrawal induced, I started seeing pencils with erasers everywhere, coming towards me to erase my personality, and this is starting to feel similar. Going to try to discharge my responsibilities today, hope yet more people haven't fucked me over, and hope whatever is happening with my brain and body fucks off or I can at least catch a break over the weekend.

 

[Lane]

i think it's amazing the steps you have taken to try and rekindle your relationship. That's often all it takes. Yet don't be disappointed if it takes more work. As you remember back to being a new mother, you were most likely so very protective of your children and would do anything to keep them safe. Your daughter may harbor ill feelings, and that's ok. Just keep working on showing her in time the differences. Don't give up, she will see them. Keep kindness in your hear for yourself as well. You deserve it! That kindness will shine through! It's pretty amazing how it can invade other's as well.

Thank you for your encouraging and truthful words AmberMarie. The support helps me through this.

 

[Lane]

Be happy she's at least responded... & that, at least there's still a, "chance" of it happening: ('the meeting.') :^)
All you can do, is try~*> And by that; I mean. . . ASK~!* ;^) / Because, as they say^ 100% of the shots,
you don't ttake--do'nt go in. Or some-thing, like that~. At least there's hope! // You''ll be able to look=back,
at the end of the day, & say - "Hey, I've tried all~things." And, you never know, once you're in that room with her
She may change her tune. Or give you an opportunity to, I don't know what, I don't want to get your hopes up
or to set unreasonable expectations. Btu you just don't know, waht whil happen once you guys are to-gether,
isa ll I'm saying! : ) It could be really good~ /// best wishes, Lane.

It's true, you never know, Mister B. I will remain hopeful but realistic. I hope you're fine. Thanks so much for your support.

 

[AvidFan]

Normal. Despite not sleeping all week (you know, maybe a couple of hours a night if lucky, and last night was utterly awful), and working all week, and getting back to the grind all week, and going through withdrawals (again), right now it just feels like an ordinary Friday night, a bit tired but not exhausted, mind is clear and I feel my old self in here a bit more. I'm hoping I've turned a corner, and am over the worst of it. 🤞 Hoping other SF friends who have been feeling ill lately feel better soon too. ❤️❤️❤️

 

[Inanimate]

Lost and alone amidst an ocean of people, diversions, and stimuli, that don’t really warrant my continued existence, not that talking about it is going to change anything.

 

[AmberMarie]

There is literally Nothing to keep me here any longer! my tears no longer fall as the well is dry. i have not eaten in days nor am i hungry. i know this feeling... existing for others has been reasserted and accomplished. It's dry... meh... non-living... and it's exactly how it is suppose to be for me.