How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Inastorm]

I feel I'm slowly disappearing, where there will be nothing left of myself. Il be like a zombie walking amongst the living. Feeling so alone and empty.

 

[Auri]

My trip to Belgium has been so good to me. The weather is amazing (sunny and warm), and I left all my worries in England (except the husband, I do miss him :p). No worries about cleaning or cooking, and I sleep so much better.

I have a new doctor (ob/gyn) and she's just perfect. I did some walking in the sun, some light shopping (mostly art supplies), saw my amazing friends and we had great conversations... I ate Belgian fries and Belgian waffles. I discovered new parts of my city, but also passed by my high school and went nostalgic. People on the street and in shops have been particularly kind. Even my parents seem to be doing a little better than I expected. And of course, last but not least, I met my super cute baby god-daughter. I held her a lot and loved every second of it. ♡

I slightly hate that my country has gone from hell to heaven for me now.

Ok, right after writing this, I got a good reminder of why I don't want to come back : arguments with my mum. Why does she always miss me so much since I'm such an ungrateful daughter?

 

[Auri]

I'm so bloody boiling inside. She can't just say whatever criticisms come to her mind (big ones) in a gentle voice, and finish with "I hope you're not mad at me now". Of course I'm not the one talking with a gentle voice and I sound like a daughter treating her mummy rudely.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Chilly.

 

[AvidFan]

I feel I'm slowly disappearing, where there will be nothing left of myself. Il be like a zombie walking amongst the living. Feeling so alone and empty.

 

[sourire]

Really bad, no matter what I do it always seems like I end up alone with my problems. I know it's no one's responsibility but I wish I could have some support, especially from my partner.

 

[AvidFan]

Exhilarated. Went to my running group and we did hills, I blasted the hills as hard as I could, heart rate insane but lived to tell the tale, forgot everything except the road and my legs. Runners high initiated.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Idiotic.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Foolish.

 

[Windhover]

I'm thinking about healing, and what it means to keep what's left of my self intanct. I can't find where someone posted today about the way to hold on to someone you've lost is to keep loving them. I realised a few days ago that I am going to do that. I know people would tell me to forget it and move on but I can't. Eventually this pain will stop when life comes to an end, that will be that. I guess I am becoming like the song. Except it's Oz, not Canada

 

[ClassicsFan]

Under the weather.

 

[1964dodge]

Deeply concerned

 

[1964dodge]

Under the weather.

 

[1964dodge]

Cat is not eating. I took her to the vet today and they pumped her full of liquids (she's also dehydrated) and poop softeners in case her problem is constipation. After coming home she ate a tablespoon of food and has been sleeping since. She is 16 yo so maybe it is her time but I choose to fight for her since she can't. I can't take much time out of work either to take her to the vet tomorrow, but i will try.

I hope she gets better soon

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

I feel I'm slowly disappearing, where there will be nothing left of myself. Il be like a zombie walking amongst the living. Feeling so alone and empty.

 

[1964dodge]

Chilly.

 

[1964dodge]

Foolish.

you are not idiotic or foolish

mike...

 

[1964dodge]

Under the weather.

 

[1964dodge]

for the first time in my life i'm ashamed to be an american. and just to remind the global community the people aren't to blame for what is going on in thier country. russian people are good, americans are good, mexicans and canadians are good. most people in this world are good. anytime we hate what a country does it's the leaders not the people. only one word of thought the good people far outweigh bad leaders so we have the power to change things, peacefully of course

mike

 

[Inastorm]

Not very good today, I'm trying to get on with some things for myself but it so difficult as all I'm thinking about in the last 12 months which is been hell and has left me all alone. I just can't handle this at all.