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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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I can definitely say I've been there. Once I told a therapist that I felt hopeless, worthless, and helpless. He replied that this is a pretty good nutshell definition of exactly what depression is. Later on I stopped using single words, and described it as, "Everything sux, it's only getting worse, and btw it's all my fault." Which got the same response from a different therapist. I'm not willing to step into the world of armchair diagnosis or practicing counseling without a license, but seeing someone else say something similar brought a new thought up for me.
Definitely we are feeling something, but I'm not sure these adjectives are feelings, exactly. They all seem to be judgements. Yes we can say we feel worthless, stupid, etc., and yet it seems like they could all be grouped together into feeling hurt and/or sad. Which are really two feelings that roll up to a category of emotional pain. That's how I view it at least. Kind of like the major category of anger would include irritability, frustration, rage, and so on.
I no longer feel like I'm worthless. I have been examining the matter, and I have come to the conclusion that worthiness is an inherent trait of all individual humans. That's what widely recognized human rights would have to be grounded in. We all have a basic dignity and deserve respect, even though this is tragically too rarely what happens. I'm still working on the feeling crazy part.
The feeling of being crazy, or however we define it, is also IMHO acceptable. When I was young I read a quote somewhere that said, "only a madman is certain of his own sanity." That would take a lot of unpacking to see how it applies, but I think the takeaway is that we must have a degree of self awareness to question whether our perceptions and emotions are lined up with "objective" reality. So, although this is uncomfortable, it's also a sign of health to be willing to question our own internal models.
If you read this far, I'd love to know what you think about the above, or even just the first paragraph if your eyes glazed over beyond that point. Please tell me if I am full of BS, and if you felt invalidated or had any other reaction. I would rather have the opportunity to improve my communication and thinking, than to have my ego buffered from what other people think. I hope that is clear.
Definitely we are feeling something, but I'm not sure these adjectives are feelings, exactly. They all seem to be judgements. Yes we can say we feel worthless, stupid, etc., and yet it seems like they could all be grouped together into feeling hurt and/or sad. Which are really two feelings that roll up to a category of emotional pain. That's how I view it at least. Kind of like the major category of anger would include irritability, frustration, rage, and so on.
I no longer feel like I'm worthless. I have been examining the matter, and I have come to the conclusion that worthiness is an inherent trait of all individual humans. That's what widely recognized human rights would have to be grounded in. We all have a basic dignity and deserve respect, even though this is tragically too rarely what happens. I'm still working on the feeling crazy part.
The feeling of being crazy, or however we define it, is also IMHO acceptable. When I was young I read a quote somewhere that said, "only a madman is certain of his own sanity." That would take a lot of unpacking to see how it applies, but I think the takeaway is that we must have a degree of self awareness to question whether our perceptions and emotions are lined up with "objective" reality. So, although this is uncomfortable, it's also a sign of health to be willing to question our own internal models.
If you read this far, I'd love to know what you think about the above, or even just the first paragraph if your eyes glazed over beyond that point. Please tell me if I am full of BS, and if you felt invalidated or had any other reaction. I would rather have the opportunity to improve my communication and thinking, than to have my ego buffered from what other people think. I hope that is clear.
I'm ok. I've had the same few dresses for a long time. I don't go get expensive clothes, but a couple of new dresses and a pair of sandals helps. My younger is still in the ''i hate you'' mode, I dropped off what he had and he accused me of not giving him something, it wasn't here. I know he got it together before he left a while ago. I don't necessarily love church, but it's the only thing I know right now to dress up a bit and see a few familiar faces, so I plan on going tomorrow. Hopefully I feel good enough to sit, it's a long time we sit there.
I can definitely say I've been there. Once I told a therapist that I felt hopeless, worthless, and helpless. He replied that this is a pretty good nutshell definition of exactly what depression is. Later on I stopped using single words, and described it as, "Everything sux, it's only getting worse, and btw it's all my fault." Which got the same response from a different therapist. I'm not willing to step into the world of armchair diagnosis or practicing counseling without a license, but seeing someone else say something similar brought a new thought up for me.
Definitely we are feeling something, but I'm not sure these adjectives are feelings, exactly. They all seem to be judgements. Yes we can say we feel worthless, stupid, etc., and yet it seems like they could all be grouped together into feeling hurt and/or sad. Which are really two feelings that roll up to a category of emotional pain. That's how I view it at least. Kind of like the major category of anger would include irritability, frustration, rage, and so on.
I no longer feel like I'm worthless. I have been examining the matter, and I have come to the conclusion that worthiness is an inherent trait of all individual humans. That's what widely recognized human rights would have to be grounded in. We all have a basic dignity and deserve respect, even though this is tragically too rarely what happens. I'm still working on the feeling crazy part.
The feeling of being crazy, or however we define it, is also IMHO acceptable. When I was young I read a quote somewhere that said, "only a madman is certain of his own sanity." That would take a lot of unpacking to see how it applies, but I think the takeaway is that we must have a degree of self awareness to question whether our perceptions and emotions are lined up with "objective" reality. So, although this is uncomfortable, it's also a sign of health to be willing to question our own internal models.
If you read this far, I'd love to know what you think about the above, or even just the first paragraph if your eyes glazed over beyond that point. Please tell me if I am full of BS, and if you felt invalidated or had any other reaction. I would rather have the opportunity to improve my communication and thinking, than to have my ego buffered from what other people think. I hope that is clear.
Definitely we are feeling something, but I'm not sure these adjectives are feelings, exactly. They all seem to be judgements. Yes we can say we feel worthless, stupid, etc., and yet it seems like they could all be grouped together into feeling hurt and/or sad. Which are really two feelings that roll up to a category of emotional pain. That's how I view it at least. Kind of like the major category of anger would include irritability, frustration, rage, and so on.
I no longer feel like I'm worthless. I have been examining the matter, and I have come to the conclusion that worthiness is an inherent trait of all individual humans. That's what widely recognized human rights would have to be grounded in. We all have a basic dignity and deserve respect, even though this is tragically too rarely what happens. I'm still working on the feeling crazy part.
The feeling of being crazy, or however we define it, is also IMHO acceptable. When I was young I read a quote somewhere that said, "only a madman is certain of his own sanity." That would take a lot of unpacking to see how it applies, but I think the takeaway is that we must have a degree of self awareness to question whether our perceptions and emotions are lined up with "objective" reality. So, although this is uncomfortable, it's also a sign of health to be willing to question our own internal models.
If you read this far, I'd love to know what you think about the above, or even just the first paragraph if your eyes glazed over beyond that point. Please tell me if I am full of BS, and if you felt invalidated or had any other reaction. I would rather have the opportunity to improve my communication and thinking, than to have my ego buffered from what other people think. I hope that is clear.
I'm really sorry but I've been trying to come up with a good reply for about 15 minutes now but I honestly have no clue what to say
But thanks a lot. Your comment made me feel a little better.
Looking forward to starting this therapy for the borderline, not because im wanting to move on from the previous relationship but because thinking about it all the time is killing me. Had a terrible idea, that maybe if they read some of my posts here they would see how much I do care and want to be with them. But I don't think that's a good idea, Im careful not to disclose any identifying personal information here but it's a safe place for me, so I should keep it to myself as such.
Thank you. You've probably been able to figure out from my other replies that I'm not really good at responding to these kinds of things (or anything tbh) but I read and appreciate it.
I'm really sorry but I've been trying to come up with a good reply for about 15 minutes now but I honestly have no clue what to say
But thanks a lot. Your comment made me feel a little better.
I'm really sorry but I've been trying to come up with a good reply for about 15 minutes now but I honestly have no clue what to say
But thanks a lot. Your comment made me feel a little better.
Feeling really great! I had a couple of insights or thoughts/realizations today that have really taken a load off my shoulders for the moment. The first was that I felt my blood pressure going up in traffic because the third goddam land-yacht driving slow af in the left lane suddenly gets in front of me without signaling. That is not an exaggeration. Then I had the thought that I was expecting people to be differently than how they are. I know damn well that there are enough distracted, careless, and/or inconsiderate drivers out there that I am guaranteed to come across several any time I drive far enough. So why should I feel offended when they inevitably show up? From there I reflected that maybe I could plan on people doing everything but driving behind the wheel, in the same way I plan for the weather. I don't get upset when the weather is awful, but I do with people. All I can say is that on my return trip I had a much more relaxing drive and even had a little fun trying to predict who the careless drivers were based on other clues. Biggest example for me is a significantly cracked windshield or other neglected repair work. If you can't even care about yourself enough to get a new windshield even from a junkyard, then can I even expect you to know where the turn signal lever is located? It's not just that, though - there are more subtle clues that put together give me at least a general profile from which I have a better guess of their behavior than I would without looking.
Second one was about my upset that powerful people are using their power to abuse the vulnerable and enrich themselves. I really, really, really really - don't think that is what Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and the rest had in mind when they threw a collective middle finger to the English monarchy. So for these people to behave that way in the name of "patriotism," is just in my mind an insult to everything pure and good and holy that ever was or ever will be! So. Fkng. What. I don't get to even influence the conversation between these jackals who already have more money than the rest of the planet combined, but still want more. Cool. In that case - it's not my problem! Uncle Ben said that, "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, General Corrupto McBribypants - you and your team have the power so congrats, and I hereby retire from the profession of giving a shit.
Sounds callous and that is uncomfortable for me. That said, it's realistic. No matter how much hand-wringing I do behind a monitor, vile people will continue to do what vile people do. The pendulum of power swings as it does whether or not I'm invested. For the time being, I'm along for the ride; nobody was ever in the driver's seat anyway. Sorry if that sounds cynical, but to me it's really freeing.
Second one was about my upset that powerful people are using their power to abuse the vulnerable and enrich themselves. I really, really, really really - don't think that is what Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and the rest had in mind when they threw a collective middle finger to the English monarchy. So for these people to behave that way in the name of "patriotism," is just in my mind an insult to everything pure and good and holy that ever was or ever will be! So. Fkng. What. I don't get to even influence the conversation between these jackals who already have more money than the rest of the planet combined, but still want more. Cool. In that case - it's not my problem! Uncle Ben said that, "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, General Corrupto McBribypants - you and your team have the power so congrats, and I hereby retire from the profession of giving a shit.
Sounds callous and that is uncomfortable for me. That said, it's realistic. No matter how much hand-wringing I do behind a monitor, vile people will continue to do what vile people do. The pendulum of power swings as it does whether or not I'm invested. For the time being, I'm along for the ride; nobody was ever in the driver's seat anyway. Sorry if that sounds cynical, but to me it's really freeing.
