Sounds like you have similar crap people in your life as me. I'm in crisis about to ctb - try to tell someone. "Stop being so negative"." Stop whinegeing". "Could be worse...." because they just don't want to hear your pain and don't want to deal with it. But I hear you, you are going through a process and it will take time, sometimes a challenge is helpful, but sometimes it's like telling someone with a broken leg in a marathon to just pick themselves up and run the last 20 miles....
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
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I woke up at 6am this morning and looked out the window. Pissing with rain. Went downstairs to check the window there - all dry for now. Not sure what impact the rain will have on the seal, it was still soft to the touch when I went to bed. He had to put a lot in there due to the window being a weird setup, so it might take longer to cure or something. But seems to have kept the rain out so far. Went back to bed and back to sleep, but forgot to change the alarm from yesterday, so that woke me up. Reset alarm for 9am, dozed a bit more then got up. I think today will be OK if I don't try to push myself to work or do anything stressful. Just take a step back, take a few wins, try to regroup. No meetings until Tuesday which is something.
I had a bit of fun looking ahead on my virtual walk and identifying places of interest along the way. Looking forward to the haunted house 🙂
I had a bit of fun looking ahead on my virtual walk and identifying places of interest along the way. Looking forward to the haunted house 🙂
This is the one that pisses me off and disheartens me the most. What this phrase does isn't positive at all, of course my mind immediately starts listing all the trauma and sad memories. I've made a commitment to not communicate with the toxic members of the family of origin, but even some people clse to me say this stuff on a regular basis. Maybe I was born to be a wanering hermit. Run eat paint sleep relpeat.
Sorry you have those types around you Avid. It's like a drip feed for depression. I am a bit emotional right now - I shouldn't keep writing because I'll get sarcastic and that's a negative habit I'm trying to break.
Sorry you have those types around you Avid. It's like a drip feed for depression. I am a bit emotional right now - I shouldn't keep writing because I'll get sarcastic and that's a negative habit I'm trying to break.
Still having a headache. Ibuprofen helped for a while, but less so now. Making me very annoyed and even angry. I’m never angry.
If it is a side effect of medications it should be out of the system by now.
It takes so much effort just keeping the traumatic or whatever stuff at bay. The headache makes it very difficult.
Considering going to the doctor if it persist.
Now to try and focus on lunch.
If it is a side effect of medications it should be out of the system by now.
It takes so much effort just keeping the traumatic or whatever stuff at bay. The headache makes it very difficult.
Considering going to the doctor if it persist.
Now to try and focus on lunch.
Up and down, hitting some "sore" spots with the boyfriend, wondering if there's enough foundation to walk through things not understood on both sides. Willingness is there on my side though and that's good to feel it in place.
AND Then Also There's a really WIERD THING also happening, found out yesterday and it's got me confused.....I will share soon about that, maybe even asking what those here thing about it
AND Then Also There's a really WIERD THING also happening, found out yesterday and it's got me confused.....I will share soon about that, maybe even asking what those here thing about it
Hope you’re feeling better soon. I wish I could help but I’m shite at managing my own stress so eff if I know.
I feel like the world could end right now and it would be a relief for a lot of us. As for yours truly, I don't think I've slept more than 10 hours over the past 3 nights including a Friday that saw me up all night until Saturday evening, meaning I was up for more than 40 hours straight. I hardly ate anything Friday and Saturday either, and I didn't drink more than 6cups/1.5L of water in the whole time. So I feel like I'm tired, dehydrated, and completely ignoring my physical needs. The body affects the mood, though, so I'm also contending with major headaches and just hating every sensation or thought that springs into my awareness. I am trying to stay positive but it feels fake.
i understand that feeling buddy and im so sorry your going through it all. i know it is hard but have you tried forcing yourself to sleep or just lying in bed? sometimes lying down will help the body and mind to relax causing you to drift off. also trying to drink more would be a good start. we are also here to listen and hlp in any possible way we can. dont be afraid to reach out, thats what were here for. 
...i know it is hard but have you tried forcing yourself to sleep or just lying in bed? sometimes lying down will help the body and mind to relax causing you to drift off. also trying to drink more would be a good start. we are also here to listen and hlp in any possible way we can. dont be afraid to reach out, thats what were here for.
About hydration - I think that when I stay well hydrated, it does more for my mood than any of the meds or whatever I've done in therapy. Problem is that I rarely feel thirst and I can go a whole day without my bladder even filling and I won't notice until I'm getting ready for bed at night. I am using mitigation strategies, but I'm still experimenting with what works and what doesn't. Thanks for giving me the prompt to think about this.
The headache almost went away when I managed to focus on reading graphic novels. Maybe it is/was some weird stress headache together with side effects by the medications I tried.
Since reading had such a good effect on me, I ordered a bunch of more books. Which was somewhat insane, I already have so many books. And was meaning to save money this month.
Been meaning to start my own thread. But very difficult for several reasons. Main reason maybe that learned not to talk about myself. Somehow my own experiences of my own life are always wrong, I’m told. But I do trust people here. I’ll really try to start something up today or tomorrow. A sentence at a time if need be. Need to start talking about things or I’ll go insane.
It is immensely helpful to pin things down in written words.
Since reading had such a good effect on me, I ordered a bunch of more books. Which was somewhat insane, I already have so many books. And was meaning to save money this month.
Been meaning to start my own thread. But very difficult for several reasons. Main reason maybe that learned not to talk about myself. Somehow my own experiences of my own life are always wrong, I’m told. But I do trust people here. I’ll really try to start something up today or tomorrow. A sentence at a time if need be. Need to start talking about things or I’ll go insane.
It is immensely helpful to pin things down in written words.
Struggling. I went to bed feeling a bit OK, but dreading Monday slightly. Went to bed just before 1am. Woke at 4.30am, restless and full of dread. Couldn't get back to sleep, maybe dozed another few hours.
Been anxious all morning, doom refreshing my work dashboard but not able to work on anything. Head feels dizzy and dazed. Avoiding my emails because anything difficult could be enough to shove me over the edge. Decided to go for a walk. Did 4500 steps. Enjoyed the warm sun on my face and felt a bit better. Then get back and glance up at the lintel above the window and it looks worse than it did last week. I'd decided to park it because Friday demonstrated I am really not in a place for people ripping my house to bits and explaining everything that is wrong with it. I still haven't recovered from Friday and thought I'd just try to live with the house as it is for a couple of weeks. But looks like I don't have that luxury. I have not seen a single lintel on all my travels with markings like mine has. I thought the guy who sealed the window would have a clue being handy, but he didn't and said I need a builder. So is it going to be another scam, £2k for a lick of paint? Or is it really screwed? I have no idea. Mood has just crashed back to square one again.
Now I'm supposed to open my emails and calmly problem solve multiple issues while I'm mentally falling apart and my head feels like it's going to explode and I've had so little sleep for weeks now.
Been anxious all morning, doom refreshing my work dashboard but not able to work on anything. Head feels dizzy and dazed. Avoiding my emails because anything difficult could be enough to shove me over the edge. Decided to go for a walk. Did 4500 steps. Enjoyed the warm sun on my face and felt a bit better. Then get back and glance up at the lintel above the window and it looks worse than it did last week. I'd decided to park it because Friday demonstrated I am really not in a place for people ripping my house to bits and explaining everything that is wrong with it. I still haven't recovered from Friday and thought I'd just try to live with the house as it is for a couple of weeks. But looks like I don't have that luxury. I have not seen a single lintel on all my travels with markings like mine has. I thought the guy who sealed the window would have a clue being handy, but he didn't and said I need a builder. So is it going to be another scam, £2k for a lick of paint? Or is it really screwed? I have no idea. Mood has just crashed back to square one again.
Now I'm supposed to open my emails and calmly problem solve multiple issues while I'm mentally falling apart and my head feels like it's going to explode and I've had so little sleep for weeks now.
Thanks for your message. I do take the time to lay down, even if I'm not feeling like sleep is near. I figure at least I can rest, even if I cannot sleep. I meditate as a hobby, too so I sit in bed and watch the activity of my mind without feeling a need to participate in that activity. This helps emotional momentum to let up, but I'm still crazy so the restlessness persists and sometimes I get so restless that I'm sitting in bed with my feet flailing all over the place and then I get up because I want to minimize how much I damage my mattress with that kind of movement. I used to actually have a phobia of falling asleep. Like I would lay in bed and feel terrified that if I fell asleep I might not wake up. This was before I started to prefer that to be what happened, though. Eventually I did get to a place where I was okay and later preferring to never wake up, but I'm still here so I gotta work with what is and not what I want it to be.
About hydration - I think that when I stay well hydrated, it does more for my mood than any of the meds or whatever I've done in therapy. Problem is that I rarely feel thirst and I can go a whole day without my bladder even filling and I won't notice until I'm getting ready for bed at night. I am using mitigation strategies, but I'm still experimenting with what works and what doesn't. Thanks for giving me the prompt to think about this.
About hydration - I think that when I stay well hydrated, it does more for my mood than any of the meds or whatever I've done in therapy. Problem is that I rarely feel thirst and I can go a whole day without my bladder even filling and I won't notice until I'm getting ready for bed at night. I am using mitigation strategies, but I'm still experimenting with what works and what doesn't. Thanks for giving me the prompt to think about this.