How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

Confused, scared, anxious. IDK what is wrong but my anxiety is setting my brain on fire. I did meditation this morning and that helped; a 6/10 beats a 9/10, which is bordering on panic. My apartment complex had an issue with the fire alarm going off unnecessarily. We had 2 evacuations in 6 days. The system made it verrrry uncomfortable to stay inside even though I knew the second one was another error. There are speakers in every room, plus the garage that constantly blare an announcement in a robot voice, and that’s on top of the horn and buzzers.

I feel like that is coming from inside me now, and it’s not something I can escape.

 

[Shinzon1]

Suicidal would be inaccurate but if I went to sleep and didn't wake up I would be cool.

First real romantic relationship is imploding. 35 years old lol. I don't know what I'm doing.

 

[AvidFan]

Ok. Maybe I am having a long overdue window after brutal waves last week. This weekend I did as little as possible, trying to recharge to survive today, I wasn't sure a weekend would be enough - it's 9 months since I had 2 weeks off for Christmas, not had a full week off since. But today I got up, went to work, got through all my meetings, and got home, and didn't have a meltdown on the bus, and felt fairly normal for a change. On Friday I felt the worst I've felt in 2 months. Today I've felt probably the best I've felt in 2 months.... Probably not working my optional job for a few days has helped but I miss it a bit. Up and down, windows and waves, yin and yang... whatever. Hoping I get a good sleep tonight.

 

[LumberJack]

Suicidal would be inaccurate but if I went to sleep and didn't wake up I would be cool.

First real romantic relationship is imploding. 35 years old lol. I don't know what I'm doing.

I don’t think 35 is a terrible time to lose a relationship, but of course I don’t know anything about what happened. I’m 48 and looking. Not a lot of interest so far.

By imploding do you mean it’s already or very nearly over, or is there a chance of salvaging it that would be workable between the two of you (or more if poly; I don’t judge)?

 

[Shinzon1]

I don’t think 35 is a terrible time to lose a relationship, but of course I don’t know anything about what happened. I’m 48 and looking. Not a lot of interest so far.

By imploding do you mean it’s already or very nearly over, or is there a chance of salvaging it that would be workable between the two of you (or more if poly; I don’t judge)?

I don't know. I'm getting the silent treatment. Tried to match energy with her and then get told that im making her scared and afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Like grow a pair! If I'm such a massive piece of shit then why give me gifts and then have a issue when I do the same and simply ask if you liked it?

Like tell me you hated the shit and want me to find a grave to sleep in. Not hard.

 

[cymbele]

After a good afternoon I have returned to my normal sad state. Things are bugging me more tonight about work, retirement and the conditions of my friends. I wish I could just fall asleep but I fear that I will join the party of people who have insomnia. Again Life sucks. And I don’t have real problems like my friends and some of the people here.

 

[Windhover]

Trying to take some time and money for necessary self care. A new therapist and some PT. While this feels like a waste I will keep at it for a couple more weeks to give myself some consistent information. If I give up now it is guaranteed a waste. I was a mess this morning and now seem to be a little better. But that happens all the time so nothing different. I need a workout but it's gotten late so heading to bed.

 

[AmberMarie]

Are you talking about killing yourself?

i d9 not wish to answer this. Sry

 

[AmberMarie]

I have been worried about you AmberMarie. More than usual. Is there anyone you're comfortable speaking with who will give you love and support? You can if ou want to talk to someone here as I'm sure we're all open to that.

Please don't worry about me. You have loads of better things to do.
No... i do not. One of me friends stopped talking to me after she read my wellness plan. Another person i call friend is out of town with his family for a few weeks. i don't know what I would say when talking to someone. Tonight is going to be a long night!

 

[Inastorm]

Off work for the second day, I'm hoping just a cold or something but I'm a bit worried as I'm getting a lot of fatigue these days, hope it's not connected to m mood which is very low. I'll go into work tomorrow and book an appointment with the nurse and get bloods taken. I've got a lot of lead paint in the house I'm working with, so want to make sure it's not gotten into my system.

 

[LumberJack]

I don't know. I'm getting the silent treatment. Tried to match energy with her and then get told that im making her scared and afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Like grow a pair! If I'm such a massive piece of shit then why give me gifts and then have a issue when I do the same and simply ask if you liked it?

Like tell me you hated the shit and want me to find a grave to sleep in. Not hard.

I'm sorry it's going that way. I could throw out advice but you might as well get it from a damn magic 8-ball for all my success in this arena. Your fortune: better not tell you now!

 

[AmberMarie]

Duno what i want. Duno what i need (or even if i need). Duno what to and not to do. Duno how to change how i feel. Duno how i feel. Duno if i even know how i feel right now... other than desperation, exhaustion, and defeat.

 

[may71]

I don't know. I'm getting the silent treatment. Tried to match energy with her and then get told that im making her scared and afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Like grow a pair! If I'm such a massive piece of shit then why give me gifts and then have a issue when I do the same and simply ask if you liked it?

This was all over giving her a gift? Maybe she's not used to being treated well and it's frightening to her. Hopefully there's a way to work all of this out.

 

[Windhover]

Much better than yesterday.

 

[Shinzon1]

This was all over giving her a gift? Maybe she's not used to being treated well and it's frightening to her. Hopefully there's a way to work all of this out.

Now that I'm having a chance to chew on the mess of emotions that's I have been feeling. This may well be the case. Self sabotage probably is not a unreasonable thought as well.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Under the weather.

 

[Congratsbaby]

i d9 not wish to answer this. Sry

I understand that's okay

 

[AvidFan]

Buzzing. Not sure what's wrong/right with me at the moment but something has shifted in my mental space. Much less of the intense dread and existential anxiety I've had for nearly 3 months. 11 weeks since last diazepam, I may be turning a corner 🤞 Feel like an adult able to deal with shit.

 

[Lane]

Just saw my daughter in FB pics. My ex-husband wife posts them. I wish I could put inti words how I feel. I am happy to see her so beautiful and as a mom. I probably shouldn't look at those pictures of my ex and their happy times. But it feels like a gut punch.

 

[cymbele]

Just saw my daughter in FB pics. My ex-husband wife posts them. I wish I could put inti words how I feel. I am happy to see her so beautiful and as a mom. I probably shouldn't look at those pictures of my ex and their happy times. But it feels like a gut punch.

I feel the same way about my ex and his wife. Fortunately I am on good terms with my daughter but I resent that my ex is acting like I knew him in his 20's. Which I liked. But life moves on. But I wish I had someone like him (the one I Knew in his 20's).