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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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@LumberJack. I don't blame you for moving away! That sounds unbearable. There is a town in Western Australia that has similar weather called Marble Bar.
Today is nice and cool, @seabird. The maximum yesterday was actually 46. You expect that in remote towns, not the country's second biggest city.
Today is nice and cool, @seabird. The maximum yesterday was actually 46. You expect that in remote towns, not the country's second biggest city.
I hope life gets better for you @Something.idk. 
I kept putting obstacles in my way to sign up for a life drawing course Monday nights....I dont have the right supplies, everyone there is better than me, I'll be tired after work, they talk politics that I dont agree with necessarily. But I did sign up. I want to challenge myself and I feel that creating art is a good way to do that. And I really dont have the space in my house
The politics thing is really difficult at this time.
I don’t have an answer. I have an aunt who is wiser than me, though. I think I will attempt to check in with her.
The important thing is creating art, though. I am currently playing around with the idea of prioritizing creative activities, too, as a way of transitioning from wasting all my time being chronically online to being more focused on what I can do for my immediate needs, today.
I don’t have an answer. I have an aunt who is wiser than me, though. I think I will attempt to check in with her.
The important thing is creating art, though. I am currently playing around with the idea of prioritizing creative activities, too, as a way of transitioning from wasting all my time being chronically online to being more focused on what I can do for my immediate needs, today.
Honestly, I keep having intrusive thoughts and I can’t seem to get myself moving today. Heading to the car wash soon, which is something I enjoy. I love my car and I love driving. Since I use the hands-on version instead of the drive-through touch less car wash it is sort of like giving my baby a massage… it’s also pretty good exercise for me that I can do more or less outside, and that is also good.
Not great. 2026 is so far doing a carbon copy of 2024 and 2025 - starts off with problems, doesn't feel much better than the year before despite time off, things start to feel impossible by the second week of grind. Got very little motivation to push through, my brain is just saying everything's fucked so why bother.
I'm really sorry. I can testify personally to the toxin of years that don't improve.
I'm wishing you the luck of windfalls to bring you change for the better. I hope that, at a pace that's fast yet comfortable for you at the same time, rushes of drive to push a change for the better for you- including ones that might seem radical or held back by repressed fears at the time- meet you often and in good chance, and I wish you strength in breaking through barriers.
I'm wishing you the luck of windfalls to bring you change for the better. I hope that, at a pace that's fast yet comfortable for you at the same time, rushes of drive to push a change for the better for you- including ones that might seem radical or held back by repressed fears at the time- meet you often and in good chance, and I wish you strength in breaking through barriers.
For now, so much better.
Earlier today, Dad introduced me to a baby picture of mine that's been a staple of sight around the house growing up, and has told me backstory of it that awends and shores my full feeling of self when I look at it.
Children's book for myself came in; first of a multi-item order and I hope to order more. Opened the floodgates to realize that I am not an adult with an inner child; I am a child, and I'm scared and lost. So I did what a child scared and lost may reasonably do:
Wept well today; hie were good tears. Dad came to check on me, with which I've begun facing my habit of growing dissociated when we talk - because, again, I developed the misplaced habit of being afraid of him and Mom when hie speak to me, despite being loving and supportive of and patient with me and of "me" at every time and "time" and throughout every year and "year" of my life and of "my life" - and I was able to stammer out some honesty. About that fact, namely.
Later, I brought him an encyclopedia and asked him something to get closure for an angered moment of his that I found crippling from about a "decade" ago. He was friendly, understanding, and soft-hearted. Later in the evening he even took my corner when sister was telling me I shouldn't dwell on the "past", asserting that indeed sometimes we need to go back and figure out what happened how. My reasons go beyond that, but heck, it feels superb to hear common ground with him on living in the life that feels more like my present, I welcome it with open arms.
_
Have had a huge breakthrough in thinking about my Retry Understanding. It comes at a time when I've been willingly letting it go in the hope that it will have a strong enough case to come back to me (told Mom) or at least stay in my orbit (that addition's new and only thought of as I clack this).
_
Have embraced spontaneity with Mom. Texted her to tell her I'm driving a drink over to her, which she declined with loving thanks. Then went and surprised her with a surprise visit to her at work, and asked her what she'd like from the grocery store, which I then went and got. Then sister, who's watching an adult animated show, just so happened to pull up one *about* memory, life, and choices, which is my main hold right now, so we watched it together and discussed it. Mostly she did; she's so bright and sharp. This is when Dad came by while we were talking and supported me revisiting the "past", by the way.
She and I talked her own "past", digging unfinished business then Mom got home and we three talked about it. When it's just Mom and me, I told her about my new scary yet soothing breakthrough about my Retry Understanding. She listened and engaged beholdingly, as she has been doing, and I feel safe telling her about this. Then Mom sat down, said yes to my ask if I may start an animated movie, I chose it, sister joined us, and we watched it all three together for our second time with this one. We all really like it; Mom even laughed and felt heartfelt. And she personally talked to me about the film's speaking to me. We hugged. And both sister and Mom sang at one with the songs, too.
After the movie ended, Mom went to reconvene with Dad. Sister and I already had begun to talk among ourselves, and when Mom overheard talk enter driving, she asked if sister's been doing her online driving courses, to which the answer indeed is yes.
Mom now is reconvened with Dad and hie'ndon having fun now as I clack the keyboard.
_
And sister and I when we had the living room to ourselves, discussed how we interact, further the driving lessons, and ways to wake up fairly early in the morning.
___
This is all from recollection.
I feel love, healing, frith, and like there's hope.
Earlier today, Dad introduced me to a baby picture of mine that's been a staple of sight around the house growing up, and has told me backstory of it that awends and shores my full feeling of self when I look at it.
Children's book for myself came in; first of a multi-item order and I hope to order more. Opened the floodgates to realize that I am not an adult with an inner child; I am a child, and I'm scared and lost. So I did what a child scared and lost may reasonably do:
Wept well today; hie were good tears. Dad came to check on me, with which I've begun facing my habit of growing dissociated when we talk - because, again, I developed the misplaced habit of being afraid of him and Mom when hie speak to me, despite being loving and supportive of and patient with me and of "me" at every time and "time" and throughout every year and "year" of my life and of "my life" - and I was able to stammer out some honesty. About that fact, namely.
Later, I brought him an encyclopedia and asked him something to get closure for an angered moment of his that I found crippling from about a "decade" ago. He was friendly, understanding, and soft-hearted. Later in the evening he even took my corner when sister was telling me I shouldn't dwell on the "past", asserting that indeed sometimes we need to go back and figure out what happened how. My reasons go beyond that, but heck, it feels superb to hear common ground with him on living in the life that feels more like my present, I welcome it with open arms.
_
Have had a huge breakthrough in thinking about my Retry Understanding. It comes at a time when I've been willingly letting it go in the hope that it will have a strong enough case to come back to me (told Mom) or at least stay in my orbit (that addition's new and only thought of as I clack this).
_
Have embraced spontaneity with Mom. Texted her to tell her I'm driving a drink over to her, which she declined with loving thanks. Then went and surprised her with a surprise visit to her at work, and asked her what she'd like from the grocery store, which I then went and got. Then sister, who's watching an adult animated show, just so happened to pull up one *about* memory, life, and choices, which is my main hold right now, so we watched it together and discussed it. Mostly she did; she's so bright and sharp. This is when Dad came by while we were talking and supported me revisiting the "past", by the way.
She and I talked her own "past", digging unfinished business then Mom got home and we three talked about it. When it's just Mom and me, I told her about my new scary yet soothing breakthrough about my Retry Understanding. She listened and engaged beholdingly, as she has been doing, and I feel safe telling her about this. Then Mom sat down, said yes to my ask if I may start an animated movie, I chose it, sister joined us, and we watched it all three together for our second time with this one. We all really like it; Mom even laughed and felt heartfelt. And she personally talked to me about the film's speaking to me. We hugged. And both sister and Mom sang at one with the songs, too.
After the movie ended, Mom went to reconvene with Dad. Sister and I already had begun to talk among ourselves, and when Mom overheard talk enter driving, she asked if sister's been doing her online driving courses, to which the answer indeed is yes.
Mom now is reconvened with Dad and hie'ndon having fun now as I clack the keyboard.
_
And sister and I when we had the living room to ourselves, discussed how we interact, further the driving lessons, and ways to wake up fairly early in the morning.
___
This is all from recollection.
I feel love, healing, frith, and like there's hope.
I keep wondering if my daughter will call since she received the gifts and cards. That's not the reason I give her and her baby and husband these things, I'm just surprised. I have feelings just like everyone else, but it's not about my feelings. I just wish things were different. You cant control another person's actions.
I’m feeling encouraged. I put a sort of acknowledgment of my 4 years of being unimpaired by booze or weed on fb.
It got a lot of comments from people who were glad to see my story. It felt more like a birthday than my regular birthday, which I don’t put too much thought into since there’s no cake at my age, lol.
A couple themes I got were: wtg, I’m trying to get sober, too, and people offering that I could msg them directly if I want to, which is nice.
It got a lot of comments from people who were glad to see my story. It felt more like a birthday than my regular birthday, which I don’t put too much thought into since there’s no cake at my age, lol.
A couple themes I got were: wtg, I’m trying to get sober, too, and people offering that I could msg them directly if I want to, which is nice.