@PrincessPure Many people are terribly concerned for the people of Iran. Me included. So, while I'm not a religious person, I say my own kind of prayers. Sending good thoughts and prayers for you and your family especially, including the kitty cat.
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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I feel terrible. I’ve been having this ongoing episode of needing to clean everything and take a long shower. I meant to shower friday night. It’s now monday. I’ve barely done anything besides eat, go to the bathroom, and do my appointment with my psychiatrist. I just want to die. I don’t want to continue this cycle. I don’t want to clean again. I just want peace. I can barely push through this.
I’ve had issues in the past that one of the only things that actually made me feel something was something harmful. I’ve started to crawl back to it, and I hate it. I know that feels good in the moment but right when it’s over, I just feel depressed. It never makes me feel better. It just makes me feel worse, but I don’t know what else makes me feel good. I wish I never got into it. I just feel like crying and dying. I don’t want to live this life anymore.
I’ve had issues in the past that one of the only things that actually made me feel something was something harmful. I’ve started to crawl back to it, and I hate it. I know that feels good in the moment but right when it’s over, I just feel depressed. It never makes me feel better. It just makes me feel worse, but I don’t know what else makes me feel good. I wish I never got into it. I just feel like crying and dying. I don’t want to live this life anymore.
I guess.
Here is a virtual hug @meow124 should it make you feel better. Im glad you posted about how youre feeling. Please stay safe and know we're thinking of you during this hard time. 
I’m okay, but just barely. I transferred literally the last cent of my stock account to my checking. So, I have 1 more month and I am going to be pulling from my IRA funds with a 10% penalty along with income tax on top of the gross amount.
I’m not taking a break from here, but I don’t have enough capacity to keep up with everyone, so I’m going to be scarce for a while. I need to focus on my own survival and that will require my full attention.
Even over the past several days I’ve been trying to face my OCD fears, but I just can’t. I don’t know how to explain it except that what I’m noticing is that I lose time. I get to the end of the day and I’m too tired to do anything more, but I still have not sat down to work on the job hunt. Something is going on with me that I don’t have access to, and that is terrifying.
I’m not taking a break from here, but I don’t have enough capacity to keep up with everyone, so I’m going to be scarce for a while. I need to focus on my own survival and that will require my full attention.
Even over the past several days I’ve been trying to face my OCD fears, but I just can’t. I don’t know how to explain it except that what I’m noticing is that I lose time. I get to the end of the day and I’m too tired to do anything more, but I still have not sat down to work on the job hunt. Something is going on with me that I don’t have access to, and that is terrifying.
I am glad I don't have to keep taking the mix and number of the cocktail of drugs I have been on. I saw my primary doc Monday and already got the referrals for allergist and dermatologist. Allergist was set for April and the dermatologist saw me this morning and he checked me all out, I have psoriasis, so he told me to stop taking everything but my regular prescriptions for blood pressure, diabetes and cholesterol as well as the diuretic for edema and put me on cream, a atopical or whatever steroid that does not affect internally and affect blood pressure and glucose. Hopefully making some progress. I was on 2 or 3 antihistamines which were knocking me even more senseless than I typically am. LOL
Pretty happy and relaxed. Just boarded my train to the coast. Am feeling a lot better than my trip last year but I was in stealth benzo withdrawal then. 7 or 8 months off now. I stopped counting the days and weeks. Best weather so far this year as well.
Sending love to anyone who could do with some! ❤️❤️❤️
Sending love to anyone who could do with some! ❤️❤️❤️
(h) if they help @SillyOldBear. Sending good thoughts to you and prayers of my own sort for you.
I can imagine. I’m very sensitive to antihistamines, but I also have “seasonal” allergies year round. Benadryl/dyphenhydramine makes it so I can breathe, but it also knocks me on my butt for 2 days if I take half a dose. I’m guessing that the antihistamines you have been on are directed at calming inflammation as opposed to clearing the bronchial passages, but I can imagine that being even more of a cognitive hit.