you know what's going on and how to get feeling a little better, as we suffer from pain physical/mental illness it grates on us and wears us down, it's not your fault humans can only cope with their skills and limits available to them. but it's up to you who wins, pain or recovery. I know the feeling I fight chronic pain and severe depression and sometimes it beats me down but even though I lose a battle sometimes I continue to fight and I win more battles than I lose. try doing things that give you satisfaction as well as reading and replying to other threads and help other people if possible. I hope you can fight this but we will fight with you if you want, win one battle at a time please take care of yourself and stay safe