first i'm sorry if I worried anyone that wasn't my intention, the good thing is I know I have friends that have my back. I had two very serious problems one my pain level was out of control the other...……. I let my stress and anxiety get the better of me and when I got in trouble on SF it was the last straw not a serious problem but with everything else I couldn't take it (and I know I should receive help as well as give it I try but it's hard for me) and I had to go away for a short time and get myself together. in case you haven't noticed SF means everything to me that's why it bothers me if I make a mistake I know i'm just being stupid about this because everyone makes mistakes. my irl problem #1 is my uncontrolled pain, I went to my doctors and with the help oh his rn that comes to the house for me he decided two double my morphine at night and double my duloxetine with the duloxetine going up every month until it's at a good level and my morphine can go up in 2 months if i'm desperate. that news was a relief to me today because I was ready to ctb over the pain I just couldn't take it any more. at least that's one major problem gone only one more to go. thank you for putting up with me at my weakest moment and i'm sorry if I worried people oh by the way everything else went well I may even lose the in home passive ventilator avap if I lose between 25 and 50 pounds so everything went well at the doctors today again thanks for being so understanding and I promise to try not to let something like this happen again