I don't deserve and can't get better.
Apparently now, I'm too slow for him. It took me all of 2 minutes to get to the back door to let him in. That was too long, it seems. So now, I'm too fucking slow. Add that to the list. I hope, not for the 1st time, that I just die in my sleep tonight. Only way out of this. All the shelters are full, nowhere else to go, and can't ask him to leave. Don't have the guts, no matter how he treats me.