How Are You Feeling Right Now?

StuartB

Well-Known Member
On holiday for a week. Day 2 and I'm sick of being off. I've lost of energy to try and find a second job. Honestly I'm just done with this silly pathetic world.
 
Been feeling nostalgic and sad today. Started when someone at work was wearing a 1989 Batman style T-shirt. I started thinking of my batmobile I had at 5-6 years old, that shot two plastic rockets. And the figurines I had, the toys. I had it all. Then... How did I end up where I am today? It's not so much I grew up, that's not what I mean. What I mean is...
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Another pointless day in the life of a worthless, rejected, ignored, unaccepted, unwelcomed alien outcast
every day has some points, some good some bad. you are not worthless, and i know around here you aren't rejected or ignored. you are always welcomed and accepted here as well. and i'm not sure if you are an alien or not but i know you aren't an outcast

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Lol yes sure, in my mind it was clear as I just posted more detail in the daily accomplishment thread. Basically my taxes were a week overdue, I was waiting to get paid money I'm owed to pay the taxes, after a week I gave up, paid half the taxes, and set up an instalment plan for the rest. It's a position I shouldn't be in, and have had to juggle lots of sources of money and wipe out my savings, but at least I've stopped the potential scary letters and phonecalls that would have ensued if I'd left the taxes unpaid much longer. I've worked my absolute backside off to earn the money to pay what I owe and have still failed to achieve my goal of completely paying off the taxes due to corporate finance departments being run by psychopaths! But for now I am relieved as it's one financial burden I don't need to worry about any more and I can concentrate on maintaining my income and securing my new mortgage before my current mortgage reverts to some crazy rate in May.... After nearly losing my house because of my financial position last year, I'm slowly building up more security but things are still pretty stressy and scary, until I get an official mortgage offer I can't really relax (I had 3 previous applications declined for silly reasons/they changed the rules mid way through the process).
i hope the mortgage process goes well. nobody deserves being stressed about housing

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Glad you are back with us and have Jasmine to look forward to. Am also glad you survived the brutally cold weather you recently had.
thank you. this is actually the most active part of the car season for us. this is when we plan on what we are going to do with jasmine this year. in the spring she will get the body work and a shiny new coat of paint. we are hoping for the front seat but not sure if we can swing that. also a whole new front end complete all ball joints etc and brakes.

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Thanks Mike. I really appreciate your support. I just wish God would hurry up and take me. But we just need to follow His plans. You are right, we have had our chance at youth. The problem is, we don't usually appreciate it until we get old. I wish there was a way to teach the youth of today to grab it while they are young.
i think what you have to ask yourself at the end of the day is am i ok to die. for me i am ready because my life was a fulfilled and happy one. i had a wonderful wife and 3 great kids and i did a lot of good toward others. this means my life was worth it. so you have to ask yourself was your life good and are you ready to die it doesn't matter if we are married or had kids.. you are a fine god fearing woman so i'm pretty sure you are ready. there is nothing more sad than a life that was meaningless to be cut short but if we had a good life that was full then nobody should mourn us. i don't know when your time will come but i have no doubt that we shall meet in heaven someday

mike...*hug*hug*hug*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Frustrated. I set time aside to do this stupid digital ID check for my mortgage application. No instructions, just "Scan the photo part of your ID document". So my passport has 2 pages with photo on, it wouldn't do anything with both, so I tried the bit with my name and passport on. These things glare like hell, so I kept getting told the photo had glare. It eventually accepted one, I pressed continue, and it went straight to the same thing. No explanation if I'd failed or had to scan something else. I only have one photo ID. I tried again and again, and failed all attempts and now it's locked. Maybe didn't help my hands were shaking because of the anxiety this caused me. Well that's sent my anxiety spiralling for the day just when I thought I was on top of things - will fail to get a mortgage because of the oh so helpful and convenient technology....
*hug*shake
 

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
every day has some points, some good some bad. you are not worthless, and i know around here you aren't rejected or ignored. you are always welcomed and accepted here as well. and i'm not sure if you are an alien or not but i know you aren't an outcast

mike....*hug*shake
Thanks for the kindness
When i say in rejected and ignored im referring to the outside world. Or whenever i leave the house i am outcasted.
On this forum i belong and you guys are amazing
 
Not great - had an emotional meltdown today

Discussed my mental health with my doctor (GP) - advising that I mask or minimize depression symptoms. She said I always sound "perky" on the phone. I said I have worked for 25 years in call centres and I probably sounded perky when I was suicidal. She did understand in the end and said maybe I need to let how I feel show through. Well, duh. Anyway she has referred me for urgent psychiatric care in my new city. I need a med review and probably need to back on Abilify because my sleep is so off.

Went for a haircut/dye and they dyed my roots too dark. I am very pale and I don't like it. I know it will fade but not sure it will fade enough

Tried to make a double recipe of blueberry scones, and I screwed up while trying to focus on the double ingredients. I ruined the dough. This is when I had my meltdown. I said I am useless and can't do anything and I'm so ugly (the fluorescent light at the salon didn't do my pale face any favours). My husband tried to talk me down but i was really upset. I have a friend coming over tomorrow with her boyfriend, and yes, I want to socialize but I am not feeling social right now, and now we don't have any food to offer them and I'm on a special diet so can't go to a restaurant. I'm sure it will work out, but... Damn. I just want a different life. One where I have good skin and can socialize without having an anxious breakdown.
 

iloverachel

An outcast, forgotten and excluded by society
Not great - had an emotional meltdown today

Discussed my mental health with my doctor (GP) - advising that I mask or minimize depression symptoms. She said I always sound "perky" on the phone. I said I have worked for 25 years in call centres and I probably sounded perky when I was suicidal. She did understand in the end and said maybe I need to let how I feel show through. Well, duh. Anyway she has referred me for urgent psychiatric care in my new city. I need a med review and probably need to back on Abilify because my sleep is so off.

Went for a haircut/dye and they dyed my roots too dark. I am very pale and I don't like it. I know it will fade but not sure it will fade enough

Tried to make a double recipe of blueberry scones, and I screwed up while trying to focus on the double ingredients. I ruined the dough. This is when I had my meltdown. I said I am useless and can't do anything and I'm so ugly (the fluorescent light at the salon didn't do my pale face any favours). My husband tried to talk me down but i was really upset. I have a friend coming over tomorrow with her boyfriend, and yes, I want to socialize but I am not feeling social right now, and now we don't have any food to offer them and I'm on a special diet so can't go to a restaurant. I'm sure it will work out, but... Damn. I just want a different life. One where I have good skin and can socialize without having an anxious breakdown.
*hug
 

Lane

SF Pro
SF Supporter
Not great - had an emotional meltdown today

Discussed my mental health with my doctor (GP) - advising that I mask or minimize depression symptoms. She said I always sound "perky" on the phone. I said I have worked for 25 years in call centres and I probably sounded perky when I was suicidal. She did understand in the end and said maybe I need to let how I feel show through. Well, duh. Anyway she has referred me for urgent psychiatric care in my new city. I need a med review and probably need to back on Abilify because my sleep is so off.

Went for a haircut/dye and they dyed my roots too dark. I am very pale and I don't like it. I know it will fade but not sure it will fade enough

Tried to make a double recipe of blueberry scones, and I screwed up while trying to focus on the double ingredients. I ruined the dough. This is when I had my meltdown. I said I am useless and can't do anything and I'm so ugly (the fluorescent light at the salon didn't do my pale face any favours). My husband tried to talk me down but i was really upset. I have a friend coming over tomorrow with her boyfriend, and yes, I want to socialize but I am not feeling social right now, and now we don't have any food to offer them and I'm on a special diet so can't go to a restaurant. I'm sure it will work out, but... Damn. I just want a different life. One where I have good skin and can socialize without having an anxious breakdown.
Awww, don't worry about your hair Lady. I bet it looks fine. We are all very critical of ourselves. I'm also on ambilify.

I hope today is a better day and you have a nice time with your friends. *console
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
i think what you have to ask yourself at the end of the day is am i ok to die. for me i am ready because my life was a fulfilled and happy one. i had a wonderful wife and 3 great kids and i did a lot of good toward others. this means my life was worth it. so you have to ask yourself was your life good and are you ready to die it doesn't matter if we are married or had kids.. you are a fine god fearing woman so i'm pretty sure you are ready. there is nothing more sad than a life that was meaningless to be cut short but if we had a good life that was full then nobody should mourn us. i don't know when your time will come but i have no doubt that we shall meet in heaven someday

mike...*hug*hug*hug*hug*shake
Thank you Mike. I will most certainly look forward to meeting in heaven.
 

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