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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
Even though I was shocked to learn about my aunt's passing, my heart continues racing from the wait. I still felt as though I was waiting for her to awaken from her coma within those 18 days. I'm relieved that my swimming practices are over at that time, my knees weakened and I had to sit down reading the news. It is expected at first to have crying spells and crying inappropriately. When I first met my aunt friends like after two weeks- It felt weird not seeing her in the zoom chat. Its all about the quality of relationship with that person- the closer you are, the more hurt you'll be. It'll haunt you.
It sounds like you're going through a lot after this happened. I think maybe your family might be also. Try to go easy on them a bit because they're reacting to what happened also.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
Can you explain what you mean?
Like when we know what is right and not by them, cause its unfair where they give in and I feel guilty but when I give in, they dont feel guilty so like we cant always believe they are so perfect just cause they are so religious/authorative- certain things can be quite affected and thats where we need to draw boundaries in a way to not be taken advantage off.
 

TreeShade17

Well-Known Member
Hello are you okay?
Like when we know what is right and not by them, cause its unfair where they give in and I feel guilty but when I give in, they dont feel guilty so like we cant always believe they are so perfect just cause they are so religious/authorative- certain things can be quite affected and thats where we need to draw boundaries in a way to not be taken advantage off.
Hello are you okay?
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
This is what Im afraid of. Kinda cringe honestly and if I were not in control, we'd be burning bridges. Like so sorry you lost yours and if you did have a good loving parents- thats only good for you really, its not for everyone. Im in the category where parents hates their kids. Like I have couple of friends where their parents kick them out of their house. what do you have to say about that?

IMG_0112.jpeg
 

Bergerac

Well-Known Member
This is what Im afraid of. Kinda cringe honestly and if I were not in control, we'd be burning bridges. Like so sorry you lost yours and if you did have a good loving parents- thats only good for you really, its not for everyone. Im in the category where parents hates their kids. Like I have couple of friends where their parents kick them out of their house. what do you have to say about that?

View attachment 62971
People can be really naive on this point. And even patronise when you explain.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
Like when we know what is right and not by them, cause its unfair where they give in and I feel guilty but when I give in, they dont feel guilty so like we cant always believe they are so perfect just cause they are so religious/authorative- certain things can be quite affected and thats where we need to draw boundaries in a way to not be taken advantage off.
Religious is a good thing. Do you not believe? Or are you speaking more about religious practices? Yes, sometimes I feel I know what's right and they don't want to listen to me. I understand. And I agree with the part about feeling guilty, but also I wouldn't want them to and I think neither do you. What I think you do want is just to feel more supported. So maybe try to not think so much about who feels guilty or not and why. It's kind of irrelevant here. Authoritative cultures can also be challenging. My family is similar in that aspect, albeit not so much as I think previous generations used to be. But authoritative doesn't mean they think they're perfect. I'd actually say the opposite. They're very cautious in how they act because they want to please God and do right by you so that you can also do right.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
Religious is a good thing. Do you not believe? Or are you speaking more about religious practices? Yes, sometimes I feel I know what's right and they don't want to listen to me. I understand. And I agree with the part about feeling guilty, but also I wouldn't want them to and I think neither do you. What I think you do want is just to feel more supported. So maybe try to not think so much about who feels guilty or not and why. It's kind of irrelevant here. Authoritative cultures can also be challenging. My family is similar in that aspect, albeit not so much as I think previous generations used to be. But authoritative doesn't mean they think they're perfect. I'd actually say the opposite. They're very cautious in how they act because they want to please God and do right by you so that you can also do right.
Yea. I do believe my religion. Just that, they my mum side can be extreme at one point of time- they'd be like "what if the angels hear your insult to me and make that happened, do you really want me to die and go to hell...?" oh my god women. Im not the only one who say this. why cant they understand that what they did to me is wrong. its literally just playing fire with fire here.🫠

Yea, I agree about being supported part. Thanks. 😺 I just dont know why, its embarrassing to admit but since the losses in my family like grandparents and aunt, I have been physically alone like literally- gotten so desperate for support like it makes me unhealthy. My counsellors do suspect my sadness about that- I just hate feeling sad and vulnerable on top of unsupportive family of my own, its really weird to be surrounded and present with people/friends that it still makes you feel lonely and you just legit lost your closest, Idk what to say, Im feeling delulu.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
Yea. I do believe my religion. Just that, they my mum side can be extreme at one point of time- they'd be like "what if the angels hear your insult to me and make that happened, do you really want me to die and go to hell...?" oh my god women. Im not the only one who say this. why cant they understand that what they did to me is wrong. its literally just playing fire with fire here.🫠

Yea, I agree about being supported part. Thanks. 😺 I just dont know why, its embarrassing to admit but since the losses in my family like grandparents and aunt, I have been physically alone like literally- gotten so desperate for support like it makes me unhealthy. My counsellors do suspect my sadness about that- I just hate feeling sad and vulnerable on top of unsupportive family of my own, its really weird to be surrounded and present with people/friends that it still makes you feel lonely and you just legit lost your closest, Idk what to say, Im feeling delulu.
The part about going to hell is definitely wrong to say. However, they do hear, and more importantly, so does God. I'm sure you know the 10 Commandments if you're faithful. So I think what your family probably is referring to is the 5th Commandment, to honor one's father and mother. Like I said, this is probably their way of trying to teach you how to act better so you can be happy. So please try to take it easy and understand that they want the best for you. When we don't follow the Commandments, we get hurt very easily.
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
The part about going to hell is definitely wrong to say. However, they do hear, and more importantly, so does God. I'm sure you know the 10 Commandments if you're faithful. So I think what your family probably is referring to is the 5th Commandment, to honor one's father and mother. Like I said, this is probably their way of trying to teach you how to act better so you can be happy. So please try to take it easy and understand that they want the best for you. When we don't follow the Commandments, we get hurt very easily.
whats commandments πŸ™ˆ
 
whats commandments πŸ™ˆ
The ten commandments are a story from the Old Testament in the Bible, where a man is supposed to have climbed a mountain and gotten them directly from God, inscribed on stone. And if I recall the story correctly, he returned to his people and found them worshipping a pagan god, broke the stone tablets and had to go back up the mountain for new ones.

There's a book called the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People where the author contends that most of the rules of religion are common-sense rules imposed by any advanced society. You really can't have people running around lying, bearing false witness against each other, mudering at will and so on. Reciprocal decency benefits most of us. The commandment to "Honor Thy Mother and Father" is often controversial to victims of abuse, and many people ask why there is no commandment to "Honor Thy Children" that might have prevented a lot of abuse.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
whats commandments πŸ™ˆ
The 10 Commandments written in the second book of Moses, or as it's also called, the Exodus.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
4. Remember The Sabbath Day to keep it Holy.
5. Honor thy father and mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.

The first one says that The Lord is our God, and there are no other gods. He is the One True God, and He is One. The second says that we shall not make any images of false gods and worship or bow down to them. The third one says that we shall not take the name of The Lord, our God in vain, meaning we are not to speak negatively of Him in any sense, shape, or form. The fourth commandment reminds us of when The Lord, our God created the earth and the heavens and everything in between, and how He rested on the Seventh Day, which we call The Sabbath Day. It is Holy and we are not to do any housework of any kind from Friday evening at dusk to Sunday morning at dawn. Instead, we are to rest and certain activities are forbidden, for we must show our love for The Lord, our God on that Day, and each other in worship. The fifth tells us to honor our father and mother, to make sure we bring honor to their name by doing things like not arguing with them, acknowledging their authority over us as parents, and being kind and generous and helpful. The sixth says that we ought not to kill other life forms--humans especially, but also animals, plants, and other living beings. Life is precious as it was created by The Lord, our God, and we are not to be cruel to other beings. The seventh states that we shall not commit adultery by cheating on our spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, but most importantly not committing adultery in the form of worshipping idols (false gods), for then we are committing adultery against The Lord, our God. The eighth says that we shall not take one another's possessions nor cheat one another out of any blessings and try to take them for ourselves. The ninth tells us not to lie and speak falseties against one another. Always try to tell the truth as best you can. Leaving out information or telling a half-truth is also considered a partial lie, for it is not His Truth. And the last one states that we ought not be envious of one another's possessions, ideas, bodies, etc., and especially not want to or try to take them as our own. Everything we have, we have been blessed with by The Lord, our God. I really hope this helps you. If not, tell me what you don't understand and I'll try to explain better if I can.
 

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