How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[puffymilk]

This is a post for everyone in here, just wanting you all to know that while I may not very often “reply to each individual post” here, I do read many of them and care a lot. Whether it is about suffering/stress/worry/pain of some kind or whatever else, or when people say they are having an ok, good, or great day, I feel glad for those who are feeling good and empathize with all those who are struggling in some way.

I wish the best for everyone here, always. Just really wanted to say that, and also to offer lots of big hugs to any/all who are wanting/needing them

What a lovely post, hugs back

 

[From_Venus]

I'm not feeling great rn

My parents always had a turbulent relationship and they separated in 2016, but the divorce, custody and alimony stuff only got finalised in 2022. My mom and I left our old house last July, and it's become quite a mess since then - warped floors, termites, etc. - because my father hasn't done any consistent upkeep on it (he was living in another property). My father asked me about it today and inquired about some of the stuff left behind, I asked my mom about it so I could respond, and now I've been dragged into an explosive fight between the two of them. My dad is insulting my mom to me through WhatsApp, my mom is making me take screenshots of everything, send it to her, and making me type out similarly scathing responses. The police and lawyers might even get dragged in at this point. I hate having to deal with their issues. I'm 19 now so ig I'm an adult but I've had to do this since I were 11. It's so, so exhausting 💔

 

[Lane]

I'm not feeling great rn

My parents always had a turbulent relationship and they separated in 2016, but the divorce, custody and alimony stuff only got finalised in 2022. My mom and I left our old house last July, and it's become quite a mess since then - warped floors, termites, etc. - because my father hasn't done any consistent upkeep on it (he was living in another property). My father asked me about it today and inquired about some of the stuff left behind, I asked my mom about it so I could respond, and now I've been dragged into an explosive fight between the two of them. My dad is insulting my mom to me through WhatsApp, my mom is making me take screenshots of everything, send it to her, and making me type out similarly scathing responses. The police and lawyers might even get dragged in at this point. I hate having to deal with their issues. I'm 19 now so ig I'm an adult but I've had to do this since I were 11. It's so, so exhausting 💔

It's no wonder you're exhausted from being dragged in the middle for years. Sorry to hear you have to deal with that @From_Venus. I don't believe parents realize the hurt and damage they do to their children when they pit the other parent against one another. I hope now, as an adult, you can start to break away from this pattern and find some peace of mind.

 

[AvidFan]

Good today. I didn't eat the stupid cake-flavoured ultra processed squares of crap and my system seems to have returned to normal.

 

[From_Venus]

It's no wonder you're exhausted from being dragged in the middle for years. Sorry to hear you have to deal with that @From_Venus. I don't believe parents realize the hurt and damage they do to their children when they pit the other parent against one another. I hope now, as an adult, you can start to break away from this pattern and find some peace of mind.

Thank you 🙏

 

[LumberJack]

I'm not feeling great rn

My parents always had a turbulent relationship and they separated in 2016, but the divorce, custody and alimony stuff only got finalised in 2022. My mom and I left our old house last July, and it's become quite a mess since then - warped floors, termites, etc. - because my father hasn't done any consistent upkeep on it (he was living in another property). My father asked me about it today and inquired about some of the stuff left behind, I asked my mom about it so I could respond, and now I've been dragged into an explosive fight between the two of them. My dad is insulting my mom to me through WhatsApp, my mom is making me take screenshots of everything, send it to her, and making me type out similarly scathing responses. The police and lawyers might even get dragged in at this point. I hate having to deal with their issues. I'm 19 now so ig I'm an adult but I've had to do this since I were 11. It's so, so exhausting 💔

Oh dear, I am very sorry to hear this. None of this is your fault. Your parents are screwing with your head by fighting with each other but using you as a proxy.

That’s just disgusting IMHO, because it inverts the parent-child relationship. They are acting like screaming toddlers, which has thrown you into the caretaker role. This is crazy making and I think it’s perfectly healthy to be exhausted, frustrated, and sad, because you are in a fcked up situation. Although it is not your fault, it may be up to you to extract yourself from the situation. I could make some suggestions if you want, but I also respect your ability to find out what works for you.

 

[LumberJack]

How I feel is cautiously optimistic. I am facing challenges like anyone else, but I am trying to be my own coach/cheerleader. I am experimenting with new ideas, which lifts my mood. I am also having thoughts that I am hopeless, helpless, and worthless. So that feels crappy, and my depression is not going linearly, which is not what I prefer. I’m trying my best, though, and I am motivated to take care of myself via the awful hospital experience.

I am scared of having to go back to that, and so I have a fire under me to practice healthier ways of reacting and relating.

 

[Windhover]

I'm a lot better but ithere's still a huge problem like a weight on my shoulders. I want my stuff back but I I'd have to make an enormous journey. And how to do this alone - need a way to get at it. If I go confront him, he'll likely tell me to go away. I am tired of being in limbo

 

[PrincessPure]

Terrible.
I was in a 3 day relationship(or idk if i could call it one) with a guy which i liked crazy for 8 months. He liked me back and started flirting with me when we were on vacation. But he was very inexperienced, so i couldnt handle him as a boyfriend. I broke it off just today. It hurts. He used to be my good friend and classmate. I dont wanna lose him as a friend. On the other hand, when i see him casually while he doesnt flirt in a cringe way, he appears confident and has a great sense of humor. Why...what if i fall for him again. Cause my feelings had huge fluctuations...

 

[MisterBGone]

Terrible.
I was in a 3 day relationship(or idk if i could call it one) with a guy which i liked crazy for 8 months. He liked me back and started flirting with me when we were on vacation. But he was very inexperienced, so i couldnt handle him as a boyfriend. I broke it off just today. It hurts. He used to be my good friend and classmate. I dont wanna lose him as a friend. On the other hand, when i see him casually while he doesnt flirt in a cringe way, he appears confident and has a great sense of humor. Why...what if i fall for him again. Cause my feelings had huge fluctuations...

First of all: You have the right to choose who you want to date, and why. So the only questions I would ask, and have you answer for yourself, at the very least... are/or might be -- Do you feel you were rash in your decision making? Was it based on / or rooted in impulse. For instance, you say that, "(Your) My feelings had huge fluctuations..." And that he had a great sense of humor, seemed to get along w/him fine-enough to warrant good friendship status. However, it feels that in the romance department, that then is where his insufficiencies lied. And so, if that is your primary reason for dropping him. Then that is all you need. And probably good enough. If you don't want to wait for him to learn, or wish for him to catch up, etc. Then that is fine and more than your prerogative. I would only ask yourself if you feel this was a justifiable reason given the totality of all else that was stated, and then calculate upon. In the moment, or at that time (while on vacation) you'd seemed to have decided that it was. Fine & fair enough. However, I'm just wondering, and not stating as if it were fact, whether or not you truly gave it a fair shake, and a chance to germinate or grow. If however, you knew, and/or know, just like right there & like that. In that instant in other words: "hey! There's no chemistry here - & that's all there is to it. I feel nothing for him, or this man, and likely/probably never will (no matter what he does, etc. moving forward & in the future. I just can't see it for myself, and that is that). Try to figure these things out for yourself, and in your own head. Then go about deciding how you would or would not wish to proceed. Keep things as (they) are, give him another or a second chance (just to confirm you were correct w/your initial observations & interpretations - your gut feelings & instinct; or intuition). As it just sounds a little slightly unwavering to me. But maybe I am reading it wrong. Or maybe you are looking for decent counters to your now current claim to help reinforce them, in order to not have to go through a second trial & error phase, or process like that of this experiment, as it could be made out to (otherwise) be. Hope you're happy! That's all that matters to me. : ) Truly, & take care~

 

[LumberJack]

Terrible.
I was in a 3 day relationship(or idk if i could call it one) with a guy which i liked crazy for 8 months. He liked me back and started flirting with me when we were on vacation. But he was very inexperienced, so i couldnt handle him as a boyfriend. I broke it off just today. It hurts. He used to be my good friend and classmate. I dont wanna lose him as a friend. On the other hand, when i see him casually while he doesnt flirt in a cringe way, he appears confident and has a great sense of humor. Why...what if i fall for him again. Cause my feelings had huge fluctuations...

I would say it depends on your ages, because you mentioned classmate. I know we have spoken in chat before, but I forgot if you mentioned being a college student. If he is a former classmate and you are both graduated, then I would offer that he seems ok but there is just one aspect that doesn’t work for you. If that’s a deal breaker, then I would move on. But experience can be gained, and if he is a great guy aside from that, well, you could do worse.

If you are both still students, then that complicates things, but also implies that you are at a stage in life where you are learning what is really important for you in relationships. Also my understanding is that guys are less likely to be committed so maybe like an on again/off again thing makes sense.

 

[PrincessPure]

First of all: You have the right to choose who you want to date, and why. So the only questions I would ask, and have you answer for yourself, at the very least... are/or might be -- Do you feel you were rash in your decision making? Was it based on / or rooted in impulse. For instance, you say that, "(Your) My feelings had huge fluctuations..." And that he had a great sense of humor, seemed to get along w/him fine-enough to warrant good friendship status. However, it feels that in the romance department, that then is where his insufficiencies lied. And so, if that is your primary reason for dropping him. Then that is all you need. And probably good enough. If you don't want to wait for him to learn, or wish for him to catch up, etc. Then that is fine and more than your prerogative. I would only ask yourself if you feel this was a justifiable reason given the totality of all else that was stated, and then calculate upon. In the moment, or at that time (while on vacation) you'd seemed to have decided that it was. Fine & fair enough. However, I'm just wondering, and not stating as if it were fact, whether or not you truly gave it a fair shake, and a chance to germinate or grow. If however, you knew, and/or know, just like right there & like that. In that instant in other words: "hey! There's no chemistry here - & that's all there is to it. I feel nothing for him, or this man, and likely/probably never will (no matter what he does, etc. moving forward & in the future. I just can't see it for myself, and that is that). Try to figure these things out for yourself, and in your own head. Then go about deciding how you would or would not wish to proceed. Keep things as (they) are, give him another or a second chance (just to confirm you were correct w/your initial observations & interpretations - your gut feelings & instinct; or intuition). As it just sounds a little slightly unwavering to me. But maybe I am reading it wrong. Or maybe you are looking for decent counters to your now current claim to help reinforce them, in order to not have to go through a second trial & error phase, or process like that of this experiment, as it could be made out to (otherwise) be. Hope you're happy! That's all that matters to me. : ) Truly, & take care~

I would say it depends on your ages, because you mentioned classmate. I know we have spoken in chat before, but I forgot if you mentioned being a college student. If he is a former classmate and you are both graduated, then I would offer that he seems ok but there is just one aspect that doesn’t work for you. If that’s a deal breaker, then I would move on. But experience can be gained, and if he is a great guy aside from that, well, you could do worse.

If you are both still students, then that complicates things, but also implies that you are at a stage in life where you are learning what is really important for you in relationships. Also my understanding is that guys are less likely to be committed so maybe like an on again/off again thing makes sense.

I am still a student, and its a course of 6 years with 4.5 years left from now on. It is that the guy of 22 years old never has had a girlfriend before probably bc of his religious parents and doesnt know how to do it. He was way too emotional just 3 days in and said he would die without me. It broke my heart because he was looking down very sad when we were breaking up and could barely talk, and i know he is sensitive and new to these things and would get hurt. He acted how a teen guy would act all through this, and it really made my feelings disappear while flirting. However when i used to see him casually hanging out with friends, he was all confident and attractive. He talks so well, knows how to use those words or make you laugh, but when in a relationship, feels that all the confidence disappears.
Anyhow, he did remove all the texts we shared with each other and seemed very discouraged, I think he wont really even let me have a second chance. He would probably get mad. All i need to do is to make sure not to grow feelings again, which is horribly difficult. Idk if i can do it, sigh.

 

[MisterBGone]

I am still a student, and its a course of 6 years with 4.5 years left from now on. It is that the guy of 22 years old never has had a girlfriend before probably bc of his religious parents and doesnt know how to do it. He was way too emotional just 3 days in and said he would die without me. It broke my heart because he was looking down very sad when we were breaking up and could barely talk, and i know he is sensitive and new to these things and would get hurt. He acted how a teen guy would act all through this, and it really made my feelings disappear while flirting. However when i used to see him casually hanging out with friends, he was all confident and attractive. He talks so well, knows how to use those words or make you laugh, but when in a relationship, feels that all the confidence disappears.
Anyhow, he did remove all the texts we shared with each other and seemed very discouraged, I think he wont really even let me have a second chance. He would probably get mad. All i need to do is to make sure not to grow feelings again, which is horribly difficult. Idk if i can do it, sigh.

I personally think, this would be a lot to take on, at this juncture of your educational journey & medical training. I believe that he needs much more required of someone, than you are prepared for, nor should you be tasked with, or burden by (unless dying to do so) for the time being. It's nice that you even gave him a chance to begin with. And I think that you've assessed the situation properly, in my opinion, anyway. Always nice when we can remain friends, but sometimes when feelings are involved, and hurt ones at that. Easier said than done. Time may heal, or soften things though, and however. So there is that to look forward too as well. Maybe some space is necessary in the immediacy but I am sure you will read the situation beautifully, and brilliantly, and be able to decide on what, or which is the best course of action for how to proceed. Silent treatment, etc. Good luck, and best way to avoid, "re-falling in love, or for him." is to find a suitable replacement. So that you can forget him altogether. Here again, easier said than. . . & also, not incredibly easy to do when in a program so profound as the one you are in. ; )

 

[Aurelia]

Someone was killed by purposely <mod edit> two days ago in my city. After reading this, I was just sad for this person and I prayed for them, asking God to be merciful and bless them. This is surely not what He wants for us, so I'm just sad and dismayed as this news.

 

[MisterBGone]

Someone was killed purposely <mod edit> two days ago in my city. After reading this, I was just sad for this person and I prayed for them, asking God to be merciful and bless them. This is surely not what He wants for us, so I'm just sad and dismayed as this news.

Sorry @Aurelia . . . That would be hard to wrap your mind around, I'd bet... It's nice that you still felt, and showed compassion for them. When maybe others, would be a little less forgiving at times. Instead preferring to pass judgement, perhaps. Though usually those of the non-mentally ill, or certainly suicidal level of stature, or status~

 

[SillyOldBear]

Someone was killed purposely <mod edit> two days ago in my city. After reading this, I was just sad for this person and I prayed for them, asking God to be merciful and bless them. This is surely not what He wants for us, so I'm just sad and dismayed as this news.

I can't help but envy this person for the release from this world he/she has found. But still wish it had worked out differently.

 

[cymbele]

Bittersweet. The team at work that I was hired for 5 years ago is disbanding. We were our own team in a company where there’s so many people coming and leaving that there’s no team spirit. We all looked out for one another and confided personal feelings about non work stuff over the years. Now I will be another body to throw at a project. But I have a job and I’m looking at finding part time work next year so I’m going to roll with the flow. But I won’t be interacting with the people that I have grown close to. So it’s bittersweet. And was going to happen at some point.

 

[Baywasp]

Good but bad. Was hanging out in the common area in the basement of my hostel for a while. Was struggling to join in with a group for a while due to worrying about looking stupid, but eventually found an in when they invited me to play a Wii game and I let myself even though I’m bad at video games. But now I’m just in bed and still want to be hanging out so I’m a bit sad.

 

[Baywasp]

Good but bad. Was hanging out in the common area in the basement of my hostel for a while. Was struggling to join in with a group for a while due to worrying about looking stupid, but eventually found an in when they invited me to play a Wii game and I let myself even though I’m bad at video games. But now I’m just in bed and still want to be hanging out so I’m a bit sad.

Was a fun group. We had two Greeks, an Aussie, a French girl, a guy originally from Tunisia, and me from the US.

 

[Astrid78]

This is a post for everyone in here, just wanting you all to know that while I may not very often “reply to each individual post” here, I do read many of them and care a lot. Whether it is about suffering/stress/worry/pain of some kind or whatever else, or when people say they are having an ok, good, or great day, I feel glad for those who are feeling good and empathize with all those who are struggling in some way.

I wish the best for everyone here, always. Just really wanted to say that, and also to offer lots of big hugs to any/all who are wanting/needing them