How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[MisterBGone]

I feel like my life is a mess right now and I'm not doing well emotionally. I'm questioning everything, love life and career but it's what I have to work with. It's keeping me up at night with worry that I'm not good enough, smart enough. Then suicidal ideations start. I just want peace in my life.

I think that... some of the "un-certainty," may - or maybe - having to do with having just started in a new job, and position. Therefore, then, you're still going to take some time to settle in & allow for this grace period of sorts to play out as part of the transition. Especially when it is something that's so new, to what you were just doing prior, or before~ / on the 'love-life,' I've heard you mentioning this in regards skepticism in the past. So while it's quite natural to wonder. I wonder myself, too quite honestly! I'm not sure, either.. so, sorry~ not going to be much help there (certainly not for personal experience). Only to consider that which stressors may be otherwise present currently now in your life (job, kids, etc.) & how those may, or may not be interacting with & perhaps interferring with the nature of this relation ship. And your ability to see things clearly: & that means, for what they really, or truly, are. . . However, that said, there's always going to be some-thing going on in your life, that's going to cause some amount of distress. So maybe helpful to weigh & consider that as well. It's hard t o see the forrdest for, or is it through? The trees, sometimes. Well, ohowefver that goes~?* (I'm sure you get the drift!)... I'd say you may already know, in your heart of hearts, what the actual answer honestly is with this man. The question then, ultimately is, when or if you're willing to accept it.

 

[corneredrat]

No, I don't think you're that at-all! ...especially when you consider all you've laid out here, as per / or reasons (as to) why: no male role-model growing up to model said behaviors after. And to reasonably be expected - to then, "Learn," - them from. . . these, 'skills.' So, it's okay! It's never to late to learn (if that's what you want to do: a job like that; if that is what you desire, just go sign up for one, or ask someone for some help, or a little guidance...) / My guess is that, a lot of those jobs you're talking about -- unless they're actual trades, where one does need some kind of training & or technical schooling & education: such as a carpenter, or an electrician (& even then, sometimes you can sign on & then become someone's apprentice in some situations, so it all just depends; on how you want to go about it~)* Long story longer! Don't compare yourself with others. Just focus on yourself. Because that's all that really matters. Let others think what they want. You can be & do whatever you want to be or do. It's all up to you. And that said, likewise, or consequently--you can also tell yourself consciously (which will have its way of seeping over in to the "un," or 'sub') that you cannot do these things. And you will likely be right on all fronts or accounts as well. If that/or those kinds of jobs are just simply not for you. Then try to find something with which your skills & talents match or pair up a little bit better for, or with. And in the absence of that - then ones in which are not so seemingly incredibly averse. Best regards!

I appreciate the lengthy response, but all of the mentioned require living in a better country with better opportunities and it not being a warzone, but also, most importantly, not being an adhd (autism?) wreck that I am. Thanks for encouragement though, but all that is left for me is to rot alive and then die. I accept my lot in life. Just wish it wouldn't so difficult.

 

[MisterBGone]

I appreciate the lengthy response, but all of the mentioned require living in a better country with better opportunities and it not being a warzone, but also, most importantly, not being an adhd (autism?) wreck that I am. Thanks for encouragement though, but all that is left for me is to rot alive and then die. I accept my lot in life. Just wish it wouldn't so difficult.

Ok, sorry, I didn't know all of that. Just wondering if, you're getting any professional help (psychiatrist, or someone to help with meds... and/or psychotherapy : talk/counseling)?

 

[Lonely dude30]

Depressed that work got canceled because of heavy winds in Canada. So I’m dealing with it be resting and taking a nap. I could have used the four day pay check. Now I get three day pay check better then nothing

 

[TragicReality]

I'm a bit sore but my mood is good. I can't understand my doctor. It was a definite no to my opiods. I called again asked the nurse how much does he want to call me, so I can explain if he wants me to get to a pain clinic he needs to give me a dose to get there because it's in my previous fractured collar bones and in my hands and I hurt, my pain is real. Half a day later, text, your oxycodone is ready for pick up. I called the drug store to see if it was a mistake. She just said no, he put you back on the same thing same dose same amount. Weirdo doc liked to put my though a week of hell to see if I actually hurt or what!? I was using gummys. It's helping, so that pill bottle is still closed. I made it a week, I might make it a few days longer and I'll beat this fucking opiod dependency. But it sure is tempting to want to be almost pain free for a couple hours.

 

[TragicReality]

Depressed that work got canceled because of heavy winds in Canada. So I’m dealing with it be resting and taking a nap. I could have used the four day pay check. Now I get three day pay check better then nothing

We had heavy wind where I am too, was scary last night, the other half of town had the power out all night and its minus 2 right now.

 

[TragicReality]

Not good, emotionally and physically. I think I have COVID.

hope you feel better soon @Pebble mouse hugs

 

[1964dodge]

Not good, emotionally and physically. I think I have COVID.

i hope it isn't covid and you get better soon

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

i'm doing a lot better today. thursday was a very high pain night so as usual i get aggresive treating my pain. besides opioid pain meds i take mmj. i have someone very close to me help me with mmj. usually they bring me 10 mg gummies. last time it was 500 mg gummies, i always cut those into 4 pieces, i forgot this time and read the label after i ate it duh lol. needless to say i was out of it for a couple of days. so be careful to always check any new med or different dose even on mmj. wasn't feeling well yesterday or this morning so will have to wait until next week to bring my 64 dodge home, now that makes me sick lol

mike

 

[corneredrat]

Ok, sorry, I didn't know all of that. Just wondering if, you're getting any professional help (psychiatrist, or someone to help with meds... and/or psychotherapy : talk/counseling)?

It is such amazing thing. We are on the same planet but in two different worlds. Crazy. Unfortunately, no such things as therapists here. Yes, not even the ones who just listen, ask questions and nod understandingly. The only psychological help I get is from this forum which I use as a venting place and as a reminder I am not alone in this crazy ride to die.
'Help' in my country can get you lock you up in an asylum where you will eat neuroleptics until you are a vegetable here, but that hardly a good life choice.
I just live with it until I am dead. Sometimes self-medicate with certain things, sometimes just suffer. Anyway, I appreciate your attention and your time. Hope you have a good time of day.

 

[SillyOldBear]

i'm doing a lot better today. thursday was a very high pain night so as usual i get aggresive treating my pain. besides opioid pain meds i take mmj. i have someone very close to me help me with mmj. usually they bring me 10 mg gummies. last time it was 500 mg gummies, i always cut those into 4 pieces, i forgot this time and read the label after i ate it duh lol. needless to say i was out of it for a couple of days. so be careful to always check any new med or different dose even on mmj. wasn't feeling well yesterday or this morning so will have to wait until next week to bring my 64 dodge home, now that makes me sick lol

mike

You will get Jasmine home Mike. And it will be so special when you do.

 

[LumberJack]

... i have someone very close to me help me with mmj. usually they bring me 10 mg gummies. last time it was 500 mg gummies, i always cut those into 4 pieces, i forgot this time and read the label after i ate it duh lol...
mike

500 mg is a lot. Like that should be the whole package, and that would be way more than I would see in AZ dispensaries. 5-10 mg is starter dose, but goes up from there with tolerance. Assuming a 25mg dose 3x daily (which is a bit much but not a whole heck of a lot), 500 mg should have you set for about a week. Even 50 mg (guessing typo?) is a pretty intense gummy unless your tolerance is about where mine was, when I would consume the equivalent of a gram of flower daily. That's a quarter ounce per week, which is a moderate to high rate based on my own informal research. Sooo if your friend brought you 500mg gummies - they must think you really need it.

I do feel for you. Getting more than you intended to take is rarely a pleasant experience. Usually if your dose is too high you start to see the negative effects such as increased heart rate or anxiety. Yes, in addition to cutting down trees, I also have experience smoking trees, which does NOT make me a doctor but really I bet I have more knowledge of MMJ as a patient than the average physician would.

 

[Lonely dude30]

It is such amazing thing. We are on the same planet but in two different worlds. Crazy. Unfortunately, no such things as therapists here. Yes, not even the ones who just listen, ask questions and nod understandingly. The only psychological help I get is from this forum which I use as a venting place and as a reminder I am not alone in this crazy ride to die.
'Help' in my country can get you lock you up in an asylum where you will eat neuroleptics until you are a vegetable here, but that hardly a good life choice.
I just live with it until I am dead. Sometimes self-medicate with certain things, sometimes just suffer. Anyway, I appreciate your attention and your time. Hope you have a good time of day.

Let me guess your from Russia or Ukraine which still have free permanent insane asylums for people with mental health issues like us and other disabilities.

 

[LumberJack]

It is such amazing thing. We are on the same planet but in two different worlds. Crazy. Unfortunately, no such things as therapists here. Yes, not even the ones who just listen, ask questions and nod understandingly. The only psychological help I get is from this forum which I use as a venting place and as a reminder I am not alone in this crazy ride to die.
'Help' in my country can get you lock you up in an asylum where you will eat neuroleptics until you are a vegetable here, but that hardly a good life choice.
I just live with it until I am dead. Sometimes self-medicate with certain things, sometimes just suffer. Anyway, I appreciate your attention and your time. Hope you have a good time of day.

I am so sorry to read this. It seems like mental health care is a disaster anywhere in the world. In the USA we have good therapists/psychiatrists, but the good ones don't take insurance. Thus they are out of reach for anyone who is not well-to-do. The mediocre ones take insurance and so are a little more accessible, but you're not going to get a lot of empathy from an agency level therapist. Their job is to move appointments through like an assembly line. Then again, that's better than nothing, or being put in a hospital involuntarily to get a "chemical lobotomy" just to keep you from bothering the staff.

In other regions, single payer healthcare is a thing, but that seems to be an awful model for behavioral health. Long wait lists and overworked providers can understandably lead to worse outcomes. Due to the stigma on getting mental health care, we are a vulnerable population, and the vulnerable are the first to get screwed by the rich. I feel so alienated in this society. I never got the memo about how financial resources equal importance. seems to be the way of the world, though

 

[Lane]

I think that... some of the "un-certainty," may - or maybe - having to do with having just started in a new job, and position. Therefore, then, you're still going to take some time to settle in & allow for this grace period of sorts to play out as part of the transition. Especially when it is something that's so new, to what you were just doing prior, or before~ / on the 'love-life,' I've heard you mentioning this in regards skepticism in the past. So while it's quite natural to wonder. I wonder myself, too quite honestly! I'm not sure, either.. so, sorry~ not going to be much help there (certainly not for personal experience). Only to consider that which stressors may be otherwise present currently now in your life (job, kids, etc.) & how those may, or may not be interacting with & perhaps interferring with the nature of this relation ship. And your ability to see things clearly: & that means, for what they really, or truly, are. . . However, that said, there's always going to be some-thing going on in your life, that's going to cause some amount of distress. So maybe helpful to weigh & consider that as well. It's hard t o see the forrdest for, or is it through? The trees, sometimes. Well, ohowefver that goes~?* (I'm sure you get the drift!)... I'd say you may already know, in your heart of hearts, what the actual answer honestly is with this man. The question then, ultimately is, when or if you're willing to accept it.

Thank you for the comforting words Mr. B.

 

[corneredrat]

Let me guess your from Russia or Ukraine which still have free permanent insane asylums for people with mental health issues like us and other disabilities.

Yep, Ukraine. I'd be locked up in no time. 'For my own good' to be sure. Or given antidepressants that half side-effect list the size of 'War and Peace'.

 

[corneredrat]

I am so sorry to read this. It seems like mental health care is a disaster anywhere in the world. In the USA we have good therapists/psychiatrists, but the good ones don't take insurance. Thus they are out of reach for anyone who is not well-to-do. The mediocre ones take insurance and so are a little more accessible, but you're not going to get a lot of empathy from an agency level therapist. Their job is to move appointments through like an assembly line. Then again, that's better than nothing, or being put in a hospital involuntarily to get a "chemical lobotomy" just to keep you from bothering the staff.

In other regions, single payer healthcare is a thing, but that seems to be an awful model for behavioral health. Long wait lists and overworked providers can understandably lead to worse outcomes. Due to the stigma on getting mental health care, we are a vulnerable population, and the vulnerable are the first to get screwed by the rich. I feel so alienated in this society. I never got the memo about how financial resources equal importance. seems to be the way of the world, though

Thanks, very informative. But also very depressing. It seems people like us are treated like trash everywhere on this Earth. Moreover, that continues on even in death, according to most religions... But that is another topic. I also hate how 'science' and is praised and pushed everywhere as being (almost) all-knowing and (almost) all-powerful while being practically useless when it comes to depression. Psychology, psychiatry... all stems down to 'we don't know shit but if you take these pills you won't feel as sad, you just won't feel anything at all and have a lot of side-effects if you are lucky, or you will just have the side-effects without any improvement at all'. Humans are crazy monkeys with insane arrogance.

 

[AmberMarie]

Worn out! But not in too bad of a way if that's possible lol.

 

[Lonely dude30]

Yep, Ukraine. I'd be locked up in no time. 'For my own good' to be sure. Or given antidepressants that half side-effect list the size of 'War and Peace'.

I knew I was right. Yep Ukraine and Russian would keep you locked up in an asylum permanently for free if you seeked help. I think they should only do it to offending pedophiles, psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissistic people that are severely disturbed and the rest with mild issues don’t need to be there.

 

[Lonely dude30]

Thanks, very informative. But also very depressing. It seems people like us are treated like trash everywhere on this Earth. Moreover, that continues on even in death, according to most religions... But that is another topic. I also hate how 'science' and is praised and pushed everywhere as being (almost) all-knowing and (almost) all-powerful while being practically useless when it comes to depression. Psychology, psychiatry... all stems down to 'we don't know shit but if you take these pills you won't feel as sad, you just won't feel anything at all and have a lot of side-effects if you are lucky, or you will just have the side-effects without any improvement at all'. Humans are crazy monkeys with insane arrogance.

Don’t worry world war 3 will happen and we all will go to heaven if we have more good deeds then bad deeds because God loves us all.