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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
A little tired. I've just been discussing my professional future with a chatbot. What a way to spend Friday night, but it was helpful. I wish I could have the AI as my manager instead of the new human manager, it makes more sense and is more empathic, or at least appears that way. I'm not happy about the transition to this new manager and am going to try to find a way to switch. I only have to seem them once a month for a few hours so if I can't switch I'll just have to put on my acting shoes for the meetings and pretend I am on the same page, grin and bear it so to speak.

For now, I need some sleep. It's Friday night/Saturday morning and my weekend insomnia is legendary, but please not tonight! Wishing everyone a good day or night and sending love to anyone who cares to receive a little of it ❤️❤️❤️
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
Like I've been scream-sobbing for a long time
With no resolution, just pauses for more tears to surface
Remembering where I've been so many times since my wife died
Occupying a space between life and death, dark and light
With no place that I truly belong
It was a foul injustice that I woke up

She deserved so much more time,
She drew people to her,
There were a lot of people who cared about her
The world deserved more time with her
But for me, the world will be indifferent
If anyone even notices, they'll think they thought I'd been dead for years

It seems pointless to keep 1 part of a 2 part set
I'm carrying the choice, I've resisted most times
But the world is already full of destruction, I don't want to add to it
Today, that's what I will try to focus on

peace
:)
I am glad that you know that we value you here and notice you, always wishing you the best.
 

JMG

Pink Sponge Autumn horse 💖🧽🌞🐴
Triggered, sad, down, unattractive, undesirable, and just not very worthy. Just not the best mood overall, need to get more calm and definitely do my best to find what I need within. Can’t keep feeling so disappointed by the actions and choices of others that’s for sure, especially when they are just people I don’t really even “know” anyway. Really wishing I wasn’t so sensitive tbh, feels a lot more like a curse than a blessing right now.
 
I have learned how to trust myself after having no self confidence or self respect. I have had a lot of PTSD therapy and substance use treatment. For some reason keeping my self sober also helps me with trust.

Not saying you should do the same, but self trust lack seems to me as something that I experience as a side effect of dealing with trauma and attachment issues through substance use and other self destructive behaviors. If you know what is the root cause of why you don’t trust yourself, then you can start working to offset that. It took me years, and it was worth it.
Years of struggling to improve is daunting, but I suppose it’s more worthwhile than struggling interminably for the sake of struggling. It’s just easier to reject myself than it is to take a chance at being someone that I can respect—because it’s what I know.
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
Triggered, sad, down, unattractive, undesirable, and just not very worthy. Just not the best mood overall, need to get more calm and definitely do my best to find what I need within. Can’t keep feeling so disappointed by the actions and choices of others that’s for sure, especially when they are just people I don’t really even “know” anyway. Really wishing I wasn’t so sensitive tbh, feels a lot more like a curse than a blessing right now.
hugs JMG

I hope you find your way to the higher ground soon, that goodness and calm is in there I'm sure of it. and I value you just as you are.

I understand about the sensitivity being a curse because that's me as well.
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Triggered, sad, down, unattractive, undesirable, and just not very worthy. Just not the best mood overall, need to get more calm and definitely do my best to find what I need within. Can’t keep feeling so disappointed by the actions and choices of others that’s for sure, especially when they are just people I don’t really even “know” anyway. Really wishing I wasn’t so sensitive tbh, feels a lot more like a curse than a blessing right now.
Sorry you are feeling this way. Sending you *sadhug*console
 

JMG

Pink Sponge Autumn horse 💖🧽🌞🐴
hugs JMG

I hope you find your way to the higher ground soon, that goodness and calm is in there I'm sure of it. and I value you just as you are.

I understand about the sensitivity being a curse because that's me as well.
Sorry you are feeling this way. Sending you *sadhug*console
Tysm to you both for being so caring, comforting, understanding and reassuring about what I said, I really appreciate it a lot :) *hug
With my mood being so down when I posted that, it tried to convince me there wasn’t a point to even posting it here and that it “wouldn’t help”, I am sure glad I did it anyway and that it was wrong, because you guys caring/replying about it helps a LOT! :) I also got some sleep and the headache I had is gone as well (had to take something for it, as I usually do) so all those things helped my mood be much better now I’m glad and relieved to say :)

Hope you guys and everyone else are feeling good right now, and to those who aren’t I hope you will be soon *Lots of big hugs to all who are wanting them* *hug*grouphug2
 

Windhover

meandering home
SF Supporter
Much better now that I've had a run. I got out this morning at 5 min. before 6 to catch the coolest part of the day.

Definite pattern to my very low moods. I woke up last night because it was too stinking warm in the house. Used some self accupressure on eyebrow and top of head, and fell back to sleep. So thank you again to @may71 for posting the helpful insomnia things.

hugs always welcome and hugs back @JMG.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
Triggered, sad, down, unattractive, undesirable, and just not very worthy. Just not the best mood overall, need to get more calm and definitely do my best to find what I need within. Can’t keep feeling so disappointed by the actions and choices of others that’s for sure, especially when they are just people I don’t really even “know” anyway. Really wishing I wasn’t so sensitive tbh, feels a lot more like a curse than a blessing right now.
I hope that you can get where you always feel like you are worthy, because you are.
 

JMG

Pink Sponge Autumn horse 💖🧽🌞🐴
Much better now that I've had a run. I got out this morning at 5 min. before 6

hugs always welcome and hugs back @JMG.
Glad you are much better now after getting out for that run seabird, that’s great! :) Tysm for the hugs back too they are definitely needed right now *hug*hug

I hope that you can get where you always feel like you are worthy, because you are.
Thank you KM that was so nice of you to say to me and I really appreciate it a lot! :) You are worthy too, absolutely, so I hope you always feel like you are worthy as well.
 

JMG

Pink Sponge Autumn horse 💖🧽🌞🐴
Was feeling extremely mad about 5 mins ago, but have calmed down at least a bit now. With ANY luck I have not completely missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’ll have another chance to see them tonight. Having missed them last night though, wow, really not sure why that had to happen that way, definitely disappointing, oh well.

Anyway, hope everyone is well and having a good day :)
 

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