How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Morind]

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not sure about anything really. I'm lost. I'm supposed to be happy. Married. 2 beautiful girls. Good job. Big house. Dog.

But I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I hate myself. I hate myself because I'm not able to be a man. I'm a shit husband. I'm a terrible father. I have no more friends. My wife has had it with me. I don't blame her.

And it's not supposed to be like this. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. I've lived in this self loathing Cry baby state the majority of my life. And I'm tired.

That's how I feel right now. I'm tired. I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to play anymore.

 

[AvidFan]

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not sure about anything really. I'm lost. I'm supposed to be happy. Married. 2 beautiful girls. Good job. Big house. Dog.

But I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I hate myself. I hate myself because I'm not able to be a man. I'm a shit husband. I'm a terrible father. I have no more friends. My wife has had it with me. I don't blame her.

And it's not supposed to be like this. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. I've lived in this self loathing Cry baby state the majority of my life. And I'm tired.

That's how I feel right now. I'm tired. I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to play anymore.

Sorry you are feeling that way. It's OK to feel that way sometimes, ticking all the boxes doesn't necessarily lead to fulfilment and you can end up questioning yourself and everything. You'll find supportive people here. Welcome anyway, you came here for a reason and I hope it helps.

 

[Windhover]

Welcome @Morind

Glad you found SF.

Many of us if not all understand those feelings; and how the dichotomy plunges a person into a sense of loss and being lost.

 

[Livelife]

No words for it actually. Overwhelming Grief I guess is at the top of the list.
I'm going to lose my dog soon and I also have to make it happen.
I'm not doing well physically either at this time so it's exacerbating the negativity in my world at the moment.

 

[AvidFan]

No words for it actually. Overwhelming Grief I guess is at the top of the list.
I'm going to lose my dog soon and I also have to make it happen.
I'm not doing well physically either at this time so it's exacerbating the negativity in my world at the moment.

Sorry to hear your news 😢 Wish I could say something soothing or comforting - it does sound overwhelming

 

[Inanimate]

I understand that feeling of repetition. I know it's not the same as IRL but we're here for you.

It’s helpful to hear nonetheless. I’d probably lose my shit without the people here like you.

 

[Livelife]

Sorry to hear your news 😢 Wish I could say something soothing or comforting - it does sound overwhelming

Thank you AvidFan, your words are soothing and I appreciate them

 

[SillyOldBear]

No words for it actually. Overwhelming Grief I guess is at the top of the list.
I'm going to lose my dog soon and I also have to make it happen.
I'm not doing well physically either at this time so it's exacerbating the negativity in my world at the moment.

So sorry Janis. It's always so hard to let go of a pet. And being ill yourself doesn't help the situation. Just cherish all those years your pup and you had together.

 

[Livelife]

So sorry Janis. It's always so hard to let go of a pet. And being ill yourself doesn't help the situation. Just cherish all those years your pup and you had together.

Thank you so much Barb💗He has absolutely been a spectacular pup🐾❤️

 

[Windhover]

Feeling worried because I finally got in touch with my niece, age 40. She will be homeless soon and coming to stay with me on Tuesday, on my couch. The thing is that she is in a fragile state of mind where she has trouble bathing, eating and drinks. I'm just scared a) that I won't know how well to take care of her and b) it's tight quarters, I don't know how long she's gonna stay.

hugs
You are being an incredible person doing this for her.
Are you saying she drinks alcohol, doesn't shower, doesn't eat properly?
Could you quietly contacct some organisations both for yourself and more information as to specifically how to proceed? for example In the US, the YWCA has at least one program for women who are in her circumstances.

 

[KM76710]

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not sure about anything really. I'm lost. I'm supposed to be happy. Married. 2 beautiful girls. Good job. Big house. Dog.

But I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I hate myself. I hate myself because I'm not able to be a man. I'm a shit husband. I'm a terrible father. I have no more friends. My wife has had it with me. I don't blame her.

And it's not supposed to be like this. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. I've lived in this self loathing Cry baby state the majority of my life. And I'm tired.

That's how I feel right now. I'm tired. I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to play anymore.

Sad that things are and have been going so badly, but you are here and this is a good place where you do have a spot to be with us, and a forum of caring and supportive people to get to know. I hope that you keep checking the forum out.

 

[Windhover]

No words for it actually. Overwhelming Grief I guess is at the top of the list.
I'm going to lose my dog soon and I also have to make it happen.
I'm not doing well physically either at this time so it's exacerbating the negativity in my world at the moment.

I wish so much the world did not have these endings, they are too sorrowful and painful. I'm very sorry for the impending events you're facing. I've been there and though it was 2 decades ago, it still hurts. We're here for you Livelife.

 

[Inanimate]

Disappointed that I still catch myself fantasizing, but I can at least acknowledge that it is without foundation and merely born out of desperation. Nobody is worth staking one's happiness on. Nobody can save my life better than I can.

 

[AvidFan]

Hot and cold. I was chilly when I got up so put a cardigan on and now I'm too hot. Aside from that, pretty bleary-eyed, though I have slept through for 3 nights in a row. Think the run yesterday really took it out of me physically. Just jump-starting myself with coffee.

 

[puffymilk]

A bit annoyed... but I kinda don't even care anymore...

 

[Lane]

hugs
You are being an incredible person doing this for her.
Are you saying she drinks alcohol, doesn't shower, doesn't eat properly?
Could you quietly contacct some organisations both for yourself and more information as to specifically how to proceed? for example In the US, the YWCA has at least one program for women who are in her circumstances.

Thanks for your reply seabird. Yes, to all of the above questions. I hadn't thought about the Y. I'll look into it. Thanks so much.

 

[AvidFan]

Stunned, like a swatted fly. Just keep going.

 

[Lane]

No words for it actually. Overwhelming Grief I guess is at the top of the list.
I'm going to lose my dog soon and I also have to make it happen.
I'm not doing well physically either at this time so it's exacerbating the negativity in my world at the moment.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've seen you post post pics of your fur baby and know how much you love him. We all care about you here, so you are not alone in your struggle.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm going through it at the moment. Hot and cold physically. And now emotionally. Went from total anxiety to a moment of pure self compassion and optimism that I can get through the challenge ahead. Still avoiding my emails since Friday. I'll deal with them when I get to the office.

 

[MisterBGone]

I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not sure about anything really. I'm lost. I'm supposed to be happy. Married. 2 beautiful girls. Good job. Big house. Dog.

But I'm not. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I hate myself. I hate myself because I'm not able to be a man. I'm a shit husband. I'm a terrible father. I have no more friends. My wife has had it with me. I don't blame her.

And it's not supposed to be like this. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. I've lived in this self loathing Cry baby state the majority of my life. And I'm tired.

That's how I feel right now. I'm tired. I'm tired of all of it. I don't want to play anymore.

Hang in there, stick around, hang around (here) / read-around... & "hopefully," you can find something that helps you. Or at least others who can identify with @Morind . Feel free to ask questions if you have them. I'm sorry you are hurting.