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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I made a big booboo. I got so busy recently that I forgot (ok, I also procrastinated on it because anxiety....) to find a new psychiatrist and now I'm out of tablets.
So I'm having the withdrawal symptoms, by my own fault.
So I'm having the withdrawal symptoms, by my own fault.
I’m feeling strange. Like I feel so much better, that now I’m questioning it. I’m noticing that I have a habit of overthinking everything. So I’m feeling better, but do I deserve it? Can I trust this, or am I suppressing my sadness? How much longer until I regress again?
Who. Really. Cares! I’m not going to be able to change any of those variables even if I understand the mechanics perfectly. It’s like I am trying to relax, which makes it harder to relax at all. So I’m trying to only plan, solve, or understand things that I can control. I’m asking myself what decisions I need to make and discard the obsessive thoughts that don’t bear on a soon to be made decision.
This probably sounds great, or even obvious to anyone with a different perspective. I’ve found it extremely difficult, though. I have ingrained these ideas and habits so deeply that I don’t feel comfortable with not engaging them, although I can see that I am making myself nearly miserable. For no reason. Just intellectual masochism, based on my unfounded assumptions that if I make myself miserable, then it will be less likely that someone else steps in to do the job. Ugh. So much back and forth. Relax. Easier said than done. Simple and easy rarely ever go together.
Who. Really. Cares! I’m not going to be able to change any of those variables even if I understand the mechanics perfectly. It’s like I am trying to relax, which makes it harder to relax at all. So I’m trying to only plan, solve, or understand things that I can control. I’m asking myself what decisions I need to make and discard the obsessive thoughts that don’t bear on a soon to be made decision.
This probably sounds great, or even obvious to anyone with a different perspective. I’ve found it extremely difficult, though. I have ingrained these ideas and habits so deeply that I don’t feel comfortable with not engaging them, although I can see that I am making myself nearly miserable. For no reason. Just intellectual masochism, based on my unfounded assumptions that if I make myself miserable, then it will be less likely that someone else steps in to do the job. Ugh. So much back and forth. Relax. Easier said than done. Simple and easy rarely ever go together.
This often ends up being a vicious circle as if you can't afford something in the first place, additional credit repayments are going to send you into a debt spiral as you'll have to borrow some more to keep up. Been there too many times. Also hate the fact things are moving to apps/phones only. Ironically I do have a small credit account with a retailer as I got my laptop on interest free buy now, pay a year later (I usually always pay it back before the deadline, otherwise they charge you a year's interest!). I went to check my account the other day and they said they are closing the website, in the future you must use the app on a phone. I much prefer dealing with things on a bigger screen with my ageing eyesight but hey ho, got to be an app and the website must die!
Bloody awake. The classic 5am Saturday wake up. Just wanted a long sleep. Oh well I went to bed fairly early so got 5 hours or so. Woke up sneezing and with painful knees. I have had a painful time all week with the work issue and then the laptop issue, so am just going to be kind to myself, I'll buzz around on my laptop then later relax. A relative is having a surprise party tonight, I said I would go as long as I was able to slip away if I was overwhelmed (going to be a lot of people there, drinking, etc, and I'm an introvert non drinker so it probably won't be pleasant for me) but waking up at this time I'm going to be either spiking with adrenaline or dopey and irritable so I might have to bow out and do what's right for me. Not sure what the sneezing is, could be swapping out diazepam for pregabalin, could be I'm getting hayfever in my old age, who knows. The only consistent thing is my Saturday super early wake up. Hey ho.
It's been a bit of a tough week, but I should get them today.
