Anxious because there was fighting between my daughter and her father in my house yesterday. Then he was outside throwing the F bomb around so all the neighbors could hear. Also, my son gets snarky about taking out the garbage and wrote me some texts, I told him he doesn't pay rent so that's his job. And my niece came to stay with us back from the rehab and she's doing much better, looking for a job and place to live and repairing the relationship between my daughter and her. Yesterday I felt overwhelmed. Today I just feel kinda stunned but hope it will all pass.
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You are going through a lot, but I want you to know you are doing an amazing job taking care of everyone, and also being there for your neice, she is blessed to have you. Hope you have time for just you. I had an embarrasing time lately too, a couple of times. I feel so bad not having my own home i let my younger use my car to sleep in. Tried getting him off to a shelter but he bursts into tears feeling scared and alone and he has no friends, so back in he is for now. Anyway, he's multiple times screamed and cussed at me where neighbors hear everything. By now I'm over the worry sort of, as to what they think. The've seen it all and heard it all. Hope your day goes well. hugs
j/k princess~ *me, just being a dummy! Yay^ . .
i am exhausted and at a very high pain level right now. i am also having a great day. we went to our second favorite car show today and had a great time so t's worth being in a bunch of pain and groggy as hell lol. mood is great so it makes all of the negative sh#t worth it. now i have to take 1 to 5 days to recover. years ago i could recover after a good nights sleep lol
mike
mike
☆☆☆Trigger Warning - post mentions organized ab*se & suic*dal urges☆☆☆
Hello,
I hope I don't sound too selfish in asking to be heard & understood today versus offering support. Please excuse me if I don't go into great detail. I don't want to trigger anyone. However, I need to say I'm a survivor of severe ab*se in childhood & adolescence including organized ab*se & bullying throughout school. Easter, springtime, & my May birthday are huge triggers for me. I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD, & Major Depressive Disorder. I'm dealing with flashbacks & abreactions (i.e., reliving an entire ab*se episode physically & emotionally) daily - & often multiple times a day - since late last March. For the past two weeks I'm also dealing with suic*dal urges that come in waves & originate from me & two of my child alters inside that went through some of my severest ab*se. I arranged to see my new therapist this coming Monday afternoon for an emergency session because the suic*dal urges are increasing in severity. (My last therapist retired & closed his practice.) They're especially strong the last few days including today. I stayed home from work today because I can't focus & concentrate due to everything that's going on. I hope my therapist can help me help myself diffuse things so that I can cope & function better. I'm getting very tired & beginning to think this is no way to live. I'm taking Paxil for my C-PTSD, but it's not helping me at all right now. I used to take Effexor XR, which helped me more with my C-PTSD symptoms. However, my family doctor switched me to Paxil because I also have hypertension & Effexor is known to increase blood pressure as a side-effect. That's where I am right now. I don't want to go on & on. I don't want people to think that I think I'm the only one with problems. I know I'm not. Thank you for reading.
Mosaic Hearts
☆☆☆Trigger Warning - post mentions organized ab*se & suic*dal urges☆☆☆
Hello,
I hope I don't sound too selfish in asking to be heard & understood today versus offering support. Please excuse me if I don't go into great detail. I don't want to trigger anyone. However, I need to say I'm a survivor of severe ab*se in childhood & adolescence including organized ab*se & bullying throughout school. Easter, springtime, & my May birthday are huge triggers for me. I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, Complex PTSD, & Major Depressive Disorder. I'm dealing with flashbacks & abreactions (i.e., reliving an entire ab*se episode physically & emotionally) daily - & often multiple times a day - since late last March. For the past two weeks I'm also dealing with suic*dal urges that come in waves & originate from me & two of my child alters inside that went through some of my severest ab*se. I arranged to see my new therapist this coming Monday afternoon for an emergency session because the suic*dal urges are increasing in severity. (My last therapist retired & closed his practice.) They're especially strong the last few days including today. I stayed home from work today because I can't focus & concentrate due to everything that's going on. I hope my therapist can help me help myself diffuse things so that I can cope & function better. I'm getting very tired & beginning to think this is no way to live. I'm taking Paxil for my C-PTSD, but it's not helping me at all right now. I used to take Effexor XR, which helped me more with my C-PTSD symptoms. However, my family doctor switched me to Paxil because I also have hypertension & Effexor is known to increase blood pressure as a side-effect. That's where I am right now. I don't want to go on & on. I don't want people to think that I think I'm the only one with problems. I know I'm not. Thank you for reading.
Mosaic Hearts
mike......
i'm truly sorry that you have so much pain in your life right now, i hope your new therapist can help you
mike......
mike......
. I feel quite ashamed of my post looking at it many hours later
. Things aren't that bad. I hope I didn't stress anyone. If I did, I'm sorry. Mosaic Hearts
Thank you for being so kind. Sending you safe . I feel quite ashamed of my post looking at it many hours later. Things aren't that bad. I hope I didn't stress anyone. If I did, I'm sorry.
Mosaic Hearts
. I feel quite ashamed of my post looking at it many hours later. Things aren't that bad. I hope I didn't stress anyone. If I did, I'm sorry.Mosaic Hearts
Baffled. Yesterday my sister told me about the cancelling of the surprise party, then didn't reply to any of my later messages. I asked how things were, as usual - read and ignored. Sent her a message before I went to bed - not read, but she's been online in the middle of the night. This is uncharacteristic behaviour, of the kind I'd probably expect if she'd gone to a party and got drunk and was only half functional! She never reads my messages without replying 🤷♂️
I will try her again later, for now I did manage to sleep for about 9 hours. I woke up in the early hours, but managed to get back off, I was totally shattered so good job. Just about to make my second coffee.
I will try her again later, for now I did manage to sleep for about 9 hours. I woke up in the early hours, but managed to get back off, I was totally shattered so good job. Just about to make my second coffee.