How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Lane]

I’m feeling incompetent. I have spent the past 1.5 work days troubleshooting a problem that turned out to be an invalid assumption on my part.

The thing that I expected to be working was in fact turned off, for a very good reason. In turn, the thing I was troubleshooting was working just fine, but the next process down stream was not as I expected. Two problems with this: if I had been able to see the proverbial forest, I would have been able to ask the question of whether the downstream step was working, If I really knew what I was doing, I would not have made that assumption in the first place, because I already know that we do this by default on all the test systems.

It sounds like you're being hard on yourself Lumber Jack. However what shines through from your post is that you care about yourself and what you do.

 

[Lane]

So tired of everything.

Sorry it's like that. Life can really suck.

 

[Lane]

numb, and hiding, and extraordinarily stupid

That you are definitely not. I hope you feel better as the week goes on seabird

 

[Lane]

I left work early yesterday just feeling bummed out, mainly over a personal relationship. I know it isn't what it should be. But I do have a lot to be grateful for, even after some major mistakes in my life. I guess I just have to just ride this wave. But, I can't help but feel sad, annoyed and even angry.

 

[HappyKitty]

watching funny videos. how can 4 monkeys suddenly arrived at changi airport😸

ngl so cute 😸

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDHDQpPS6rf/?igsh=c2d6dzRnc3FzcWlk

 

[AvidFan]

Just a tiny bit fed up. My whole day revolved around a call and a face to face client meeting. So I went into the office braving the weather and Christmas crush, did several hours of my remote work, then did my call which was awful as the person had sent me 3 different phone numbers and none of them was the right one (they were all off by one or more digits!). Then they called me late so I rushed through that to get ready for my face to face meeting - and they managed not to turn up and didn't reply to my messages. So I left the office in the driving rains, the bus was simply no go with 1000s of people milling around in the pouring rain waiting to pile on. Continued on to the train station to find the previous 2 trains had been cancelled and the next one was delayed - hence there were 1000s more people milling about and we were packed on to the train like cattle, then I had to walk home in driving rains and wind fighting with my allegedly windproof umbrella. I don't think it really is windproof. I had a proper windproof one but lost it on the bus a while back. And all that was for exactly nothing, I could have stayed home and done 6 hours of remote work instead of wasting my time, energy and money on transport. Client texted to say they forgot. 🤷 Sometimes I just think fuck all this shit.

 

[SillyOldBear]

Truly wishing I were dead. This life just isn't worth it anymore.

 

[AvidFan]

Truly wishing I were dead. This life just isn't worth it anymore.

🥹

 

[AvidFan]

I just bought a family pack of biscuits as they were only £2. Only ate a few, comfort food, sure they won't be around for long😂

 

[Holding my breath]

Tired. Was up super early this morning to get to the hospital in time to speak with my mums dr. Left home at 6.15, got to the hospital at 8 then waited 1.5 hours to finally see the dr. He said there is no change in her condition and she is high risk. She needs surgery but is too frail to be able to make it through any kind of surgery, so he is taking a conservative approach.

So now I wait, visit, wait, visit, wait, visit and see how long she can go. It will be slow as they are giving her IV nutrition and fluids, So who knows how long someone can survive like that until other organs start to pack up. Watching someone you care about die very slowly is heart breaking. I know my experience is not unique and many people have and will experience the same thing, but it’s hard. 😢

 

[KM76710]

I just bought a family pack of biscuits as they were only £2. Only ate a few, comfort food, sure they won't be around for long😂

Biscuits make great comfort food, but naturally gravy needs to be involved also.

 

[Inanimate]

Impatient. I usually exercise good patience and caution on the road, but not tonight. I almost got t-boned, yet I barely felt a thing.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Relieved.

 

[Windhover]

Biscuits make great comfort food, but naturally gravy needs to be involved also.

Was @AvidFan referring to biscuits in the UK sense of the word, or biscuits in the US sense?

 

[Windhover]

It's a strange feeling to be alive when the some of my closest people aren't. More and more it seems this whole gig is an illusion. Movement and time; we think we have their measure, but I don't think we do.

 

[Inanimate]

Dreading therapy. I feel like I have to downplay how bad I’m doing so my therapist doesn’t freak out or assume our sessions are useless. My negative thought patterns are entrenched; unlearning them will take time and effort commensurate with the torment I’ve endured.

 

[puffymilk]

Pretty down. I woke up with a good mood but it's the afternoon now and I suddenly thought of someone that I would rather not have in my mind, but it happens. I hate this. It ruins everything.

 

[AvidFan]

Was @AvidFan referring to biscuits in the UK sense of the word, or biscuits in the US sense?

Damn, I should have said cookies to avoid misunderstandings. The thought of my bourbons and custard cremes with gravy makes me slightly queasy 🤣🤣🤣

 

[Bergerac]

Fingers crossed that this works. It's been so long.

 

[Aurelia]

The wind is howling outside, and there is snow, the first snowflakes of the season. I think it's too warm for it to land, though. But still, pretty.