my daughter has decided to stay home tonight so I’m not babysitting. I turned down a dinner with friends to babysit and they are currently eating dinner now so I won’t be joining them. So I’m alone and grumpy on new year eve when I could have been with people. But tomorrow is a new day and I’m still on vacation. Got to have a better outlook on life.
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Honestly drowsiness is my biggest obstacle in my silent meditation. Buddhism recognizes 5 major obstacles to mindfulness, and sleepiness is one of them. I have learned to get in a nap that is shorter than 15 minutes when drowsy, and that usually works. I know that from your sleep problems, that this may not be an option.
In case you’re interested, the other four are: craving for sense pleasures, anger/hatred, restlessness (ironically the polar opposite of sleepiness), and doubt.
Interestingly, back pain is not on the list, which makes me think that my back pain is due to these western chairs that lead to poor posture and ridiculously tight hamstrings.
In case you’re interested, the other four are: craving for sense pleasures, anger/hatred, restlessness (ironically the polar opposite of sleepiness), and doubt.
Interestingly, back pain is not on the list, which makes me think that my back pain is due to these western chairs that lead to poor posture and ridiculously tight hamstrings.
So an acquaintance of mine specifically invited me to a sober NYE party tonight. As the time approaches, I am getting nervous. Like panic attack level of social anxiety.
I said I would be there and I think that it’s important for me to keep my commitment. I hate that feeling I get when I say that I will show up, and then back out later. I’m getting dragged out of my comfort zone, and I might go kicking and screaming, but I will go.
I said I would be there and I think that it’s important for me to keep my commitment. I hate that feeling I get when I say that I will show up, and then back out later. I’m getting dragged out of my comfort zone, and I might go kicking and screaming, but I will go.
going through a pain spike right now. it's same old same old lol. it isn't too bad an 8 on 10 scale. it will come down in a couple hours or so. i am looking forward to next year in 4 hours and 41 minuetes lol. i hope to get pain better controlled and one year closer to going home. i think next year will be better financially and mental health issues. this year has been filled with joy and pain but i am better off than some so goodbye 24 and welcome 25
mike
mike
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I am glad that things have had improvements for you and family earlier this year. Getting into your new place after the stress earlier was a cheerier time when you posted it happened. I can agree with the goodbye 24 and hopefully a brighter 25. This year has been different and more stressful for me than most both physically and mentally.
Sorry to hear about the pain, mike. 8/10 sounds pretty bad, like the dentist is drilling in my tooth and the anesthetic just wore off, kind of bad.
I wish I had better suggestions. In my case the doctor was going to put me on tramadol, I said no thanks and did the MMJ thing. Turns out that cannabis reactivated my alcohol behaviors, which ended up with me coming here.
Now my pain management is preventative (yoga), and I’m getting better because the yoga training has improved my form in other activities. I’m pretty sure that would not work in your case, though. I know there’s always some new thing on the horizon (I read something about octopus venom), but it’s like everything has its price. I hope you feel better with the meds you have.
I wish I had better suggestions. In my case the doctor was going to put me on tramadol, I said no thanks and did the MMJ thing. Turns out that cannabis reactivated my alcohol behaviors, which ended up with me coming here.
Now my pain management is preventative (yoga), and I’m getting better because the yoga training has improved my form in other activities. I’m pretty sure that would not work in your case, though. I know there’s always some new thing on the horizon (I read something about octopus venom), but it’s like everything has its price. I hope you feel better with the meds you have.
Hey @SillyOldBear,
I have (or had) the same problem - this is why I started counting backwards, when I reached 35 years. Now I am at 7.... second class. Maybe you should do the same? Just to make you laugh. Have a nice 2025 and enjoy age. Be cool.
I have (or had) the same problem - this is why I started counting backwards, when I reached 35 years. Now I am at 7.... second class. Maybe you should do the same? Just to make you laugh. Have a nice 2025 and enjoy age. Be cool.
Weary and worried. Last day of the holidays for most people, so the messaging could start up again tomorrow and all the "hope you had good holidays, it's great to be back, now I want my pound of flesh off you" when I'm supposed to still be off. I already feel overwhelmed with the new year messages. Went to bed at 11.30pm last night, was drifting off when the fireworks started. Few days of the holidays left, wishing it was 2 weeks ago, but all the holidays seem to have done is make me feel even more exhausted than I was before. Or just revealed how exhausted I was/am. 2024 fucking broke me and 2025 hasn't got off to the best start. A week off usually re-energises me, but I still feel on my knees after nearly 2 weeks. I'll try to eat better, rest up for another day at least, do nothing mentally taxing, doze off if I feel like it.
Drained. All I've done all day is watch zombie movies while feeling like a zombie. The only explanation I can think of for the extreme fatigue is, I started running out of amitriptyline in the run up to the holidays, started a mini taper of it, and made 3 or 4 pills last 10 days, every other day and finally the last one after 2 days, 48 hours ago. Some say it can take a while for withdrawals to kick in, I've only ever been taking 10-20mg for sleep, with the occasional sledgehammer dose over the summer, but I've read people saying they've had awful withdrawals off that dose. Am hoping it's that, rather than actually total exhaustion, as withdrawal is temporary. After 2 weeks off, if I'm still totally exhausted, I'd be out of options, no energy means no work, no work means no money, and no money pushes me into a dangerous corner where I start thinking about other ways out of the problem. Not there yet so lets hope this is a little biochemical blip and a few days will see me turn the corner. If I can get through 3 months of sapping benzo withdrawals.... maybe this year I can go through less of this sort of shit!