Sorry you are on this rollercoaster. I also can go to bed feeling one way and get up feeling completely different, one minute feel able to cope with anything, the next feeling like the universe wants me dead and I might as well comply. I've certainly found myself passively wishing for something to happen lately - ironically getting a serious, diagnosable, terminal illness would solve all my problems, at least financially. Other days I feel I want another 30 years at least. Fucking brains, eh? I'm sure you are capable of taking care of yourself, at least for now, and hopefully loss of independence is a long way off for you.
-
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.
How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
I feel OK just now. Managed a run, and did nearly 4 hours of my remote job. That would haven been unthinkable a week ago. I must be stabilising on the medication and amazing what 4 nights of actual sleep can do (after 3 weeks of zero sleep). Still have a lot of challenges but I'll take some wins like this. Just making baked potatoes with cheese, hummus, sweetcorn and peppers 😋
I feel like crap but it's my own fault. I took the opiods and they didn't seem to do anything. I mean nothing. So I said f it, they must have made some mistake and pretty much doubled my dose. So for almost 7 days I've had nothing. Learned my mistake for the final time. All they do is keep me from withdrawal. So I'll stick to my stupid low dose just to avoid this zapping electrical sensation and feeling like I have to move my legs, not sleeping, feeling like totally going nuts.
SO I promise myself even if they don't work for pain, I'll take them, and try to withdraw myself slowly. Because if I ever had surgery, I'd me complaining loudly as I'm already opiod tolerant. It sucks that my doc won't up it, but then again, it's not something recommended long term. It actually increases pain sensitivity. He keeps prescribing because it's been over 4 and a half years so he knows i'm dependant and it's hell without them. Thank God tomorrow they will deliver that and my other meds. I hope I will wait til near bedtime and actually sleep. I feel very selfish lately and I hope to be of help to someone again on here or in life in general, feeling useless too long.
SO I promise myself even if they don't work for pain, I'll take them, and try to withdraw myself slowly. Because if I ever had surgery, I'd me complaining loudly as I'm already opiod tolerant. It sucks that my doc won't up it, but then again, it's not something recommended long term. It actually increases pain sensitivity. He keeps prescribing because it's been over 4 and a half years so he knows i'm dependant and it's hell without them. Thank God tomorrow they will deliver that and my other meds. I hope I will wait til near bedtime and actually sleep. I feel very selfish lately and I hope to be of help to someone again on here or in life in general, feeling useless too long.
Sad that is happening and I agree about the losing the ability to make it in life independently. Tired, older and running out of options that can be seen is a terrible lot faced by many both young and old. It can be tougher as the years pass and you run out of time where people see use in us while we age....
How you feel isn’t always reflective of reality. Could be that the person you wish you were is already how the people around you see you.
I mean, that’s how I see you, and I know I’m not the only one here who does. It’s hard to imagine that the people you know in real life don’t see you the same way.
I know that is only so good when you can’t feel it yourself, but it’s something to keep in mind.
I mean, that’s how I see you, and I know I’m not the only one here who does. It’s hard to imagine that the people you know in real life don’t see you the same way.
I know that is only so good when you can’t feel it yourself, but it’s something to keep in mind.
I guess I'm doing OK. Probably the calmest day I've had all year, and I was at the office. Had a wobble earlier in the day on the bus when my heart rate was doing 100 for now reason, and my Garmin stress level was 100.... But on the way home my heart rate was 73 and stress level said I was at rest 😂 Lost a ton of money on my speculative tech stocks today (well a ton of money to me, more like £50 than $500 billion 😱). I will keep plodding on!