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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Tired but Friday Feeling. It's taken the entire week, starting Monday, with plenty of stress in between - but have finally managed to actually speak to a roofer who has been flexible and accommodating in sorting out a time next week for an inspection to see what needs doing. It could be a huge relief to hear it's "only" going to cost like £5000-£10,000 (not that I have it, but's raisable with finance somehow), less would be even better, more could be devastating.....
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Fairly stoic. Just had some next level bullshit. I was thinking of ordering pizza. I thought I'd double check my credit card to make sure I'm not overspending on it and could justify the expense. When I login, I see two orders of Dominos pizza from last week. I don't order from Dominos. Too expensive. Everything else looked OK. Just at that moment I got a text saying my card had declined a transaction from Canadian Immigration. So I had to go and get the card blocked then buy through a different platform using PayPal. Couldn't make this bullshit up, could have been worse am only down £50 and will get it back. Card blocked. End of.
 
I learned in my process that progress is progress, even if there are stumbles along the way. At first it was a struggle to go 3 days without drinking, and I felt like I needed booze like I need air, so I gave in. I kept going, and eventually I could go a whole week sober, and so on until I achieved a level of momentum that it was actually easier to stay sober than it was to get sober after a binge. I could still relapse today, but I don’t want to because the aftermath is more painful than the problem I want to drink over.

I look at recovery as having 3 components: frequency, intensity, and duration. If you are not sure, see if you can just make progress in any one or more of those metrics. If you feel better, keep it up, even when it feels like hell and the very 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are about to mow you down.

I apologize for giving advice unasked, but this is general information that works for everyone as far as I know. Also I have confirmed it directly through my own experience. Addiction is IMHO the same process, whether it’s drugs, SH, online gaming, etc. The antidote, then is probably a consistent process, too:
Thank you. I appreciate your advice. Frequency has definitely fallen for me. I used to do it daily. Now it’s more like once a month. The intensity of the urges is more challenging because once they start it seems to build daily until I give in. I guess progress has been made and I just need to keep going. The difficulty being that small part of me that doesn’t want to give it up. That’s the biggest hurdle I think.
Well done for making so much progress yourself. You are very strong and should be proud of yourself. Xx
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Fairly stoic. Just had some next level bullshit. I was thinking of ordering pizza. I thought I'd double check my credit card to make sure I'm not overspending on it and could justify the expense. When I login, I see two orders of Dominos pizza from last week. I don't order from Dominos. Too expensive. Everything else looked OK. Just at that moment I got a text saying my card had declined a transaction from Canadian Immigration. So I had to go and get the card blocked then buy through a different platform using PayPal. Couldn't make this bullshit up, could have been worse am only down £50 and will get it back. Card blocked. End of.
Oh gosh what a pain. I have had my credit card stolen twice, and my debit card was skimmed at a tampered ATM. My accounts have a fraud protection thing, so I didn’t lose any money. However, I did lose a substantial amount of time with the mess of switching over all my online auto-bill pay to the new card.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Fairly stoic. Just had some next level bullshit. I was thinking of ordering pizza. I thought I'd double check my credit card to make sure I'm not overspending on it and could justify the expense. When I login, I see two orders of Dominos pizza from last week. I don't order from Dominos. Too expensive. Everything else looked OK. Just at that moment I got a text saying my card had declined a transaction from Canadian Immigration. So I had to go and get the card blocked then buy through a different platform using PayPal. Couldn't make this bullshit up, could have been worse am only down £50 and will get it back. Card blocked. End of.
Also I now am craving pizza. Burritos, too, but it’s just that I have been hardly eating for the past 3 days and now my body is like, Fk this, feed me you lazy bastard!!!
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Oh gosh what a pain. I have had my credit card stolen twice, and my debit card was skimmed at a tampered ATM. My accounts have a fraud protection thing, so I didn’t lose any money. However, I did lose a substantial amount of time with the mess of switching over all my online auto-bill pay to the new card.
It shouldn't be too bad, I have had a hell of a week and had just relaxed and was thinking finally, I survived, I can treat myself... then that crazy little interlude happened. I only use the card for internet purchases, there's just a few things I'll have to swap once I get the new card. I have other cards but I only use them for balance transfers. Apparently it could be a BIN attack, they said that last time it happened (it's happened 3 times with this card over the years, had it twice with another card). The most troublesome impact I once had with this, was I had bought an expensive gig ticket from Ticketmaster. After my card got frauded and canned, and I got a replacement card, the gig was cancelled, and Ticketmaster issued refunds automatically to the payment card used - which no longer existed. I thought they'd have some way of knowing where it should go but it actually took months of messing around before the refund found its way from the bank's holding account and credited to mine. Fortunately I've never actually lost a penny to any of this, and banks have generally been OK to deal with. It only took a minute to call them tonight and block the card. I suppose I did well handling it, rather than having a meltdown - and just PayPal'd my pizza instead (hope you have eaten by now!)
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
I wont be tired if its not the same tasks all time and incorporating frequent breaks rather than being controlled by scheduled tasks and energy will be easily regulated even with sleep, rather than being tired all the time. Its so weird that even weekend, I'm able to get up early. I'm not a morning person, hopefully I'll change my perspective about responsibilities.
 

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