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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
- Start date
Long weekend due to labour day, got a massage for migraine relief on wednesday lol and then hang out with my friends baby yday.
Finally me time Fri-Sun. 😺
Dont get me wrong, I do love socialise but not every weekend gurl, I still need me time for relaxation if you want me to rest and adapt for work.
Finally me time Fri-Sun. 😺
Dont get me wrong, I do love socialise but not every weekend gurl, I still need me time for relaxation if you want me to rest and adapt for work.
oh no! is it Covid? May you feel better soon, regardless. 
masked, socially distanced e-hug if you want one.
masked, socially distanced e-hug if you want one.
I feel terrible. I am back again to marinating in my outrage over the humiliation I received during my inpatient treatment (not really treatment, rather treated like a slave). I try to let it go, but it keeps coming back. Sometimes I will spend a matter of minutes trying to move past something, and it's back at me in under a second. I'm super angry, but I keep feeling like it must be my fault, because the hospital did nothing to make me whole, and yet somehow they still have a license. So now it's a combo of disgust, pain, anger, resentment, shame, and guilt.
I have done meditation to calm down, including a specific technique for letting strong emotions come through. That works for a few minutes and then something will remind me. I get all spun up again when the reminder comes. Really just want the hurting to stop. I'm even out of it to the point that I can't cognitively reach my values. I would throw away things that I value and future peace just to have an escape. Totally irrational in the long run, and probably more pain than it's worth in the short run. I feel like I can't do this anymore. The mistreatment has virtually bifurcated my adult life. Looking back, I have my childhood, then adult life before the event, and adult life after the event. I haven't found a way to move past this, and it hurts.
I have done meditation to calm down, including a specific technique for letting strong emotions come through. That works for a few minutes and then something will remind me. I get all spun up again when the reminder comes. Really just want the hurting to stop. I'm even out of it to the point that I can't cognitively reach my values. I would throw away things that I value and future peace just to have an escape. Totally irrational in the long run, and probably more pain than it's worth in the short run. I feel like I can't do this anymore. The mistreatment has virtually bifurcated my adult life. Looking back, I have my childhood, then adult life before the event, and adult life after the event. I haven't found a way to move past this, and it hurts.
i've been nervous these days, found a perfect spring water product that is helping me with the psoriasis i get when i am miserable so i keep spraying that to get rid of it but it will come back if i don't calm down, so i have to keep trying to have something nice to look forward to, anything, so maybe i can skip the part where it comes back and i feel like it never left in the first place, and i try yet these self destructive thoughts are really, really trying to get in which gives me the craziest flashback to the time i went to Brazil for vacation and my skin was flawless, everyone kept complimenting the change. Maybe i should run away there.
Sad. I've had an awful day. After stabilising on amitriptyline months ago I've been on a steady 10mg dose and been highly functioning mostly. I decided to start trying to taper again, and cut to 6mg last weekend. I thought I was doing well, had a few wobbles, but yesterday my mood and energy really started crashing and am definitely experiencing withdrawals from the drop. I decided I wanted to switch off, take it easy, but then I started getting all these emails and people harassing me, like if i hadn't answered the email within 12 hours they were following up with calls and texts and WhatsAPPs - like leave me the fuck alone if I could reply right now I would, filling my queue with calls and messages isn't helping you get a quicker answer.... Then I decided to sack work and go to my running group, it was all going well, my sore calf was behaving, it was a lovely warm evening and I started to feel better when BOOM!! My left foot hit the ground, I felt this thudding shockwave, and then the back of my knee started to tighten up. I think it was going down some stairs. So instead of going for a drink in the sunshine with these lovely people I jogged home almost in tears and that's where I am now, 2 weeks to go till the race I've been training for, I did everything right, took the whole week off after my long run, took it fairly easy - and still got injured 😟😔😢
