• IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Please read THIS THREAD about a rebrand for SF.

How Are You Feeling Right Now?

TragicReality

I wish I could turn back time
SF Supporter
I've got a little ''yay!'' back in me. I've been waiting since mid november to get my medical review straightened out so I can drive again. Finally an email that I can drive, now I need to get it paid for since it expired in the meantime, then get a new car battery. It means so much to me that I can drive. I have to get out once in a while, and it helps me to get out and walk around big stores. I'm happy for a bit.

It was helpful that @may71 said I should apologize for faking the knee reflex. I did. I ended up crying in front of my doctor. Apologized. I eventually was able to calm down, usually if he offers me a kleenex it works, because no body in life ever did. This time there it didn't. I finally said ''I think it's alright for you to see me like this because you have before''

I've got to admit, I have a really good doctor. He's done this before, I needed just 3 lorazepam that I overdid, and he wouldn't budge. I cried, not to manipulate but because I knew if I didn't get some sleep I'd go crazy again. He finally made it so I had to go to the hospital for them and have my ex drive me home so I'd be safe not driving myself.

That time while I was crying he just was hanging his head down for 20 minutes. I finally asked him ''Are YOU alright?'' God I must seem nutty at times, and I've said to him in the past that I am a bit batty, he'll say ''At least you are aware of it'' The best gift he ever gave me were tiny bits of encouragement, and also being upset that I don't get better, its making me realize what an insult to a doctor that has offered so much help and I keep being my depressed anxious self. And the book ''the power of now'' really helped me.

I can end up ranting on here that he wont up my opiods. Well maybe he is right not to up them. A person gets used to them and they don't work. I made it a week before without them, then take one and it works. It makes a person more sensitive to pain too. I had bought a bicycle and it is hard to get in up and down the steps. I'm glad my brother can be tough on me, I told him about my licence being back, then talked about the bike and he said sternly ''Now get out and use it.'' He's right. He may not know how much it hurts me but I'll get out again with it.
 
I've got a little ''yay!'' back in me
That's good :)
I ended up crying in front of my doctor. Apologized.
That's really good too :)
I can end up ranting on here that he wont up my opiods. Well maybe he is right not to up them. A person gets used to them and they don't work
Yes, that's the problem, they're not a good long-term solution.

I had bought a bicycle and it is hard to get in up and down the steps
A bike can be ok outside as long as it's protected from the rain and locked up securely.
then talked about the bike and he said sternly ''Now get out and use it.'' He's right. He may not know how much it hurts me but I'll get out again with it.
It's tricky, because on the one hand exercise can be really good for your health, but in some cases it can aggravate musculo-skeletal conditions. Your doctor may be able to advise you about how and how much to exercise.

Sending hugs
 
I'm in a really bad mood. I struggled to get up and managed to get to work. Told another worker about my productivity over the weekend and they were criticising me over why did I do x this way and y that way. I thought why you being a dick over some social chit chat. Anyway they ended up annoying me all day. I've been reading about interpersonal relationships and didn't do very well in trying to respond to all the comments in a positive way.

Meant to have my mental health peer support group tonight but they put me in the wrong group so I just hung up as I didn't know anyone.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I'm feeling stupid. I keep getting myself into these insane, miserable situations when I know better. I read something from those chicken soup for the soul books or at least the author of the first one. It was to the effect of, "Life keeps giving us the same lessons until we learn them." Very true, in my case. WHY don't I learn this s**t the first time??? or at least by the fourth for cryin out loud! I'm hurting immensely because I'm too afraid of looking at the reason why I keep letting others take advantage of me. I suck at adulting. Just kill me, please!
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
I landed on another adhocs job as a debt collector 5 months ago before I go back to study if I were to decide. Its just my way to earn it. Idc if you made fun of my job like "i am good at convincing to confuse people" 🙄 but real friends would know it still has good career progression either way and it isnt easy, like idc if you made fun or dont believe in me. I am just proud of myself that I made through probation with my employer accomodate to my time when it supposed to be quicker than the newbies who join. It at least I have 10-6 income before I could build more sources of income. it is nothing special, we all want money.
 

TragicReality

I wish I could turn back time
SF Supporter
I'm feeling stupid. I keep getting myself into these insane, miserable situations when I know better. I read something from those chicken soup for the soul books or at least the author of the first one. It was to the effect of, "Life keeps giving us the same lessons until we learn them." Very true, in my case. WHY don't I learn this s**t the first time??? or at least by the fourth for cryin out loud! I'm hurting immensely because I'm too afraid of looking at the reason why I keep letting others take advantage of me. I suck at adulting. Just kill me, please!
Have you ever thought that maybe you're too intelligent and that's a problem? Idk but I've heard the more intelligent you are the more you understand the insanity of this life. And if you feel out of place, it's because the world really has gone insane. HUGS
 

Gard

Well-Known Member
Wow, moonshine? I am guessing that tastes utterly terrible. Also the risk of blindness so there is that… but yeah I am not thinking of drinking. It’s more tempting than usual right now. Not so much as wanting to get drunk, so much as solidifying my intent if I was going down that path.

I see statistics about alcohol as it being bad because it’s involved in about 60% of suicides. Those researchers think the booze is a factor but from inside my head, the effects of alcohol would be more of an accelerator for my intent that was fully formed ahead of time and I was planning to do either way.
Yes, it tastes terrible. Sometimes there is even a flavor of the product from which the broth was made, such as potatoes or boerewors. The most pleasant flavor was in moonshine made from pure sugar.
In any case, you shouldn't drink it at all. Alcohol increases suicidal thoughts, but not immediately, but later. Especially when you stop drinking. It makes life easier for a while, but then it gets harder.
 

Gard

Well-Known Member
I’m super anxious and I don’t know why.
Try L.Reuteri - it helps with anxiety. It's like an additional way to deal with anxiety and depression.

Pretty much the same though I have a appointment tomorrow for a intake at a mental health clinic...so progress I guess
Of course it's progress. Especially since you were totally against it before.

Have you ever thought that maybe you're too intelligent and that's a problem? Idk but I've heard the more intelligent you are the more you understand the insanity of this life. And if you feel out of place, it's because the world really has gone insane. HUGS
We say Woe from Wit. This is from the play of the same name that we study in our school years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woe_from_Wit
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$45.00
Goal
$255.00
Top