How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Gard]

Today I feel better. I managed to get the thoughts about those people who don't want to talk to me out of my head. I thought: It's their choice, I have things to do. If they need me, they know how to find me.

 

[Gard]

Now it’s a necessity with rising temperatures globally.

I have also noticed a change in temperature. Twenty to thirty years ago, winters were colder. We used to have temperatures of -20 to -30 degrees Celsius. This winter, -15 was the lowest temperature. And summers are getting hotter and hotter.

 

[Windhover]

@Angie I'm worried about you. Sending good thoughts and a hug. Only if you like hugs.

Spoiler

I was having bizarre dizzy spell for a while. I never got to the doctor for them but kept thinking about what it might be, and searching for what the symptoms might suggest. I found out it could be way too much vitamin D, and when I stopped taking it, they went away.

 

[Ankha555]

I feel so lonely. No one understands how I feel. I’m in so much pain but I don’t think that anyone even sees it. I’m just locked in a prison with awful thoughts and awful feelings but nothing can be done for me. I just have to be stoic and continue doing my best but I’m so burnt out and tired of my life. If I opened up about my feelings to those I know in real life, they wouldn’t understand at all. It hurts so much knowing that I’m completely alone in this world.

 

[Lane]

At least you got 24 years out of it. In Arizona, we start saving up for a replacement at 5 years in a roof unit, and we thank whatever powers we believe in if it lasts for 7. Still, for a full sized family home, that A/C system is going to run $10-12k depending on the size. That’s also using the A/C 2-3 times the total hours of use yearly compared to other climates, so it’s about the best we could expect.

It doesn’t help though to be looking at a 5-figure repair bill suddenly. And your fiancé’s input is clearly more stressful than you need right now. A/C used to be a luxury to me, and few houses in my neighborhood had more than a swamp cooler. Now it’s a necessity with rising temperatures globally. Indoor spaces that get too hot are a health risk.

Hyperthermia is no joke, and with the fact that you would sweat profusely without realizing it, dehydration and electrolyte imbalance is assured with enough time in a hot enclosed room. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do know. I do hope that you can get at least a window unit. I have had good results with one.

Thanks for the encouraging words LumberJack Jack. Im thankful that I don't have to run it all year like in some hot states. Im going tonight I think, for a stand up unit for my bedroom and the kids can get their own. I'll have to put off the central air due to financing. It's supposed to get up to 102 next week here in NJ.

Like you, I didn't grow up with air-conditiong and remember putting cold wash clothes on myself. Or my mother would do that, bless her. I hope youre doing as well as possible today.

 

[Lane]

Sorry to hear this Lane, and just in time for summer. That's a big financial hit.
When I lived in N. Az, the central AC stopped working the week that I listed the house for sale. I lucked out and it was fixable by replacing the capacitors. 'Only' 3500. Best to you getting through this and keeping cool an not too stressed.

Thanks seabird. You stay cool too. That's crazy about when you were about to sell the house. Ots always something when youre a homeowner. Hope you have a nice day.

 

[Lane]

I feel so lonely. No one understands how I feel. I’m in so much pain but I don’t think that anyone even sees it. I’m just locked in a prison with awful thoughts and awful feelings but nothing can be done for me. I just have to be stoic and continue doing my best but I’m so burnt out and tired of my life. If I opened up about my feelings to those I know in real life, they wouldn’t understand at all. It hurts so much knowing that I’m completely alone in this world.

We understand @Ankha555. Also, very glad you're here. Do you do anything to try to stop the awful thoughts? Im thinking about tactics that I learned in the hospital. I do hope some peace comes to you.

 

[Lane]

I feel dizzy and disoriented. It's not my blood pressure, although it was high earlier today.

This physical weirdness just won't stop and has me frustrated and discouraged.

Angie, I hope youre ok. We care about you a lot here.

 

[puffymilk]

Pretty good. Still trying to deepen my spirituality

 

[Ankha555]

We understand @Ankha555. Also, very glad you're here. Do you do anything to try to stop the awful thoughts? Im thinking about tactics that I learned in the hospital. I do hope some peace comes to you.

Hi, tysm for the response

I’m not sure what to do. I can’t escape the awful feelings, almost all of it is tied to my appearance and every reminder of what I look like hurts me so much that I can barely function. I think I’ve run the gamut with psychiatry and therapy and I don’t think that anything can help me

 

[Lane]

Hi, tysm for the response

I’m not sure what to do. I can’t escape the awful feelings, almost all of it is tied to my appearance and every reminder of what I look like hurts me so much that I can barely function. I think I’ve run the gamut with psychiatry and therapy and I don’t think that anything can help me

No problem. People who are worth it won't judge you by how you look.

I felt similar, like nothing could help me, that my life was shifty. I can still think that if I really look at it. Honestly, what helped was time. And my medicine. Otherwise I'd be a wreck.

One tactic i use is when a negative thought, like self belittling happens, I picture a red STOP sign. Learned that at the hospital. Also self-care everyday if possible. I hope being here helps somewhat @Ankha555.

 

[Windhover]

@Ankha555 I wish I knew something helpful to say about being isolated. It is good to come here and write but isn't real life. Here you are among people who see the pain and many of us are in the midst of our own. I hope things change for the better for you soon.

 

[maybeicanheal]

I feel so much shame and guilt for hurting the people I love I don't know how to go on. I don't want to. I deserve to die for what I've done, for the harm I've caused, for breaking my wife's heart and destroying her trust. It feels like the only solution today.

 

[Oizys Moros]

maybeicanheal
I am sorry that you are hurting from hurting others and I hope all of you are able to heal and forgive together.

It stood out that you mentioned the “only solution TODAY” like you recognize that tomorrows can be better than today

 

[LumberJack]

Angie, I hope youre ok. We care about you a lot here.

@Angie - me too! Please let us know how you are doing. If you’re comfortable doing so, of course.

 

[LumberJack]

I feel so much shame and guilt for hurting the people I love I don't know how to go on. I don't want to. I deserve to die for what I've done, for the harm I've caused, for breaking my wife's heart and destroying her trust. It feels like the only solution today.

Geeze buddy, I know that feeling. It’s also untrue, IMHO. I kinda doubt that you would tell someone else in a similar situation that they deserve to die for what they have done.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t believe that anyone would deserve to die for any mistakes, even if those actions had profoundly negative consequences. I would rather say that your remorse is healthy and shows that you have a desire to make things right if you can, and learn better ways to relate with others going forward.

I know that is hard to believe right now, but my experience is that the pursuit of recovery (emotionally or physically) will have long term effects. I did the work, and it is still ongoing, but looking back now, I was not the inhuman monster that I thought I was. I was just a very badly wounded person who had internalized negative messages from my caretakers in early childhood.

 

[Ankha555]

@Ankha555 I wish I knew something helpful to say about being isolated. It is good to come here and write but isn't real life. Here you are among people who see the pain and many of us are in the midst of our own. I hope things change for the better for you soon.

Ty

 

[LumberJack]

I’m feeling relatively good today. I’m going to move tomorrow from a very unpleasant roommate arrangement into my own place, in a location that I prefer. Tonight is the last night I will have to sleep in this place. I don’t know if I will sleep, though. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve; I am looking forward to it that much!

 

[Lane]

I’m feeling relatively good today. I’m going to move tomorrow from a very unpleasant roommate arrangement into my own place, in a location that I prefer. Tonight is the last night I will have to sleep in this place. I don’t know if I will sleep, though. I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve; I am looking forward to it that much!

So happy for you LumberJack. Hope you do get a good nights sleep.

 

[Lane]

Anxious. Getting window units put in. My friend helped put them up. Grateful for that. Then, my daughter is throwing herself a birthday party tomorrow. It's color themed and she's renting tables, chairs, etc. I have a feeling I'll be clean up crew.