How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[Lane]

In just really tired of life and people. I haven't worked, exercised, studied, I've even hardy read in days. I just feel so over life at the moment.

I understand about taking it slow and that feeling of why bother. I hope you feelbetter @Harrow

 

[Lane]

Physically I feel really good today. I got just over 7 hours of sleep and I feel rested. Inside my mind, though, is much more dangerous. The thoughts that say that I am doomed to end up homeless are as loud as ever.

The critical voices inside me that are an amalgam of all the hostile authority figures in my childhood are gloating and goading me to commit suicide. Many recurring themes of, “just fking kill yourself already,” or, “you worthless POS, do you really think you can even take care of yourself?”

Well, that’s all just noise. It’s harder to tune out because it’s inside my head, but I have tools to work with this. I’m not saying it’s easy; they are called tools because they are for doing work. I hate work.

But that’s still okay. Some people have diabetes and have to take insulin and monitor glucose all day. Some people have MS and can’t even get around. I’m severely depressed and I have to do the things to keep it from snowballing into a suicidal crisis. I don’t want to do it, but I can do it. The important thing is that I don’t give in to despair and give up.

Please don't listen to those voices from the past LumberJack. If I listened I'd probably be dead or in jail. Some people fall through the cracks, you aren't one of those people because you have intelligence and kindness to offer the world.

 

[Lane]

I sometimes stop and think how I'm feeling and cant figure it out. If I dwell in the past, I feel lost frustrated. In the present I block things out and forge ahead, one reason bcz my foster mother would live her life as best she could, despite 2 rotten biological daughters

 

[sourire]

I think I'm quite doomed and the only outcome for me in the future is ending it all.

 

[Lane]

I think I'm quite doomed and the only outcome for me in the future is ending it all.

Im glad youre here sourire. I hope that you stay safe and you find some moments of peace

 

[sourire]

Im glad youre here sourire. I hope that you stay safe and you find some moments of peace

Thank you a lot

 

[Aurelia]

I'm both frustrated and empathetic at the same time. My brother, when I look at him, looks sad often. You can see it in his eyes. But when I mention that God can take that away from him if he just didn't ignore Him, he doesn't want to hear about it. I'm by myself often and don't feel alone. He's by himself often and struggling and refusing to listen or try something different.

I had a dream that told me I cant save those who want to travel down the wrong path, and that by no means can I follow them either. The Lord won't let me ❤️

 

[Windhover]

Creative but a loser, lost, broken, I'm not sure, I guess a mixture of feelings. I want things to be fair, and I know that's not rational, because things are never fair. Instead of si, then, the next part is getting comfortable with this lost loser, and to continue to work anyway.

 

[AvidFan]

Creative but a loser, lost, broken, I'm not sure, I guess a mixture of feelings. I want things to be fair, and I know that's not rational, because things are never fair. Instead of si, then, the next part is getting comfortable with this lost loser, and to continue to work anyway.

Hugs @seabird ❤️

 

[AvidFan]

Not great. Another night's broken sleep, stupid early wake up and inability to doze back off, resulting in early start to an already long, stretching, horrible day of obligations.

 

[Inastorm]

Creative but a loser, lost, broken, I'm not sure, I guess a mixture of feelings. I want things to be fair, and I know that's not rational, because things are never fair. Instead of si, then, the next part is getting comfortable with this lost loser, and to continue to work anyway.

You are far away from being a loser, you are strong. I like this tshirt i saw recently of a pair of boxing gloves with text 'down but not out'. Its fine to feel defeated, but the match isnt over, just keeping on getting up.

 

[Inastorm]

Not great. Another night's broken sleep, stupid early wake up and inability to doze back off, resulting in early start to an already long, stretching, horrible day of obligations.

Hope you manage to get through the day.

 

[Inastorm]

Im struggling today, seemed to have a very short break (few days) from the longing of the past relationship person and intrusive thoughts but they are coming back now very strong and im started to think again about the point of it all. Feeling very hollow.

 

[AvidFan]

Im struggling today, seemed to have a very short break (few days) from the longing of the past relationship person and intrusive thoughts but they are coming back now very strong and im started to think again about the point of it all. Feeling very hollow.

Sorry you are struggling again. It might come in waves and windows, a bit like my symptoms. Grief and loss can work like that too - one minute you feel like you're moving on, then the tide pulls you back in. I hope sooner or later you can make it to shore and find some peace. A year is a significant milestone, each month is hopefully a little more healing.

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @AvidFan, hugs always help. (h)

I hope your long day goes along smoothly.

 

[Windhover]

@Inastorm Your words reminded me to get back to using my self-regulating affirmations and actions. Do you have a distinct memory of what it felt like during the break from the longing, or does it escape entirely from mind? I hope the emotions get calmer very soon. How you are during those breaks is real.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs to anyone who would like hugs

 

[crowgarden]

Relapsed today :/

 

[Aurelia]

One of those days where I don't feel like doing anything and wish time would just go faster so I can go to sleep and forget about today.

 

[AvidFan]

Relapsed today :/