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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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I am better than I was today. I almost vomited with stress on the way home. It had been a tough day. Woke at 6am after little sleep, got up at 7.30 as couldn't doze, got a few things done then had to get to office for meetings etc in the afternoon. By the time I got into city I was feeling pretty ropey, I went to get some food and everything was spinning and I felt dizzy. I considered pulling out of everything as my head felt like it was about to implode or explode and I felt lightheaded. I somehow pulled throught he first meeting, then the next one was really challenging and I somehow got through it. Then had to get the bus home at 7pm, almost got a cab, but the bus came and it was sensible and I got a nice seat. All was going well until we got to the depot and they told us to get off the bus and get on another one, so there was a mad scramble and what had been a quiet bus ride turned into some kind of hell for me, people having loud conversations, and some very loud mouthed person going on and on about something and swearing. It doesn't sound much on paper but my nervous system was shot to pieces by this point, I wanted to either scream or puke up and wished I'd taken the cab. I eventually got home and everything was still spinning. Managed to make some food, ate chocolate after, and finally started to come down from it all.
I hope I sleep tonight. The jury is out on whether the stress aid pills have helped or harmed. I got some pure valerian ones today as the ones I was using have passionflower in them and it has some weird SSRI type properties, so might give them a miss. I picked up a 3 in 1 magnesium (glycinate, citrate, malate) and took a couple of them, some acetyl-cysteine and l-theanine. I feel OK at the moment, which is a miracle as I was convinced I was going to collapse most of the day.
I hope I sleep tonight. The jury is out on whether the stress aid pills have helped or harmed. I got some pure valerian ones today as the ones I was using have passionflower in them and it has some weird SSRI type properties, so might give them a miss. I picked up a 3 in 1 magnesium (glycinate, citrate, malate) and took a couple of them, some acetyl-cysteine and l-theanine. I feel OK at the moment, which is a miracle as I was convinced I was going to collapse most of the day.
Pissed off but also relieved. I turned up online for the meeting but the key person had an emergency so the meeting was cancelled in the first 2 minutes... Relieved as I still get paid. Could just have done without preparing and feeling a bit anxious about it all day, if it had been cancelled this morning I could have just switched off - but that's me done aside from gentle plate spinning tasks. No more meetings till Monday!
Yesterday at 4:36 PM
#115,806
SillyOldBear said:
Just wanna go to bed, to sleep and never wake up.
That is how I feel so much of the time. Ready to go and tired of the aches and aggravations
@KM76710 and @SillyOldBear
#115,806
SillyOldBear said:
Just wanna go to bed, to sleep and never wake up.
That is how I feel so much of the time. Ready to go and tired of the aches and aggravations
@KM76710 and @SillyOldBear
Not feeling well at all. Continuing with daily flashbacks & body memories from past trauma that are terrifying & go on from an hour to two to sometimes three hours at a time. Often they happen at night & I'm awake till 3 or 4 in the morning or even later. Makes working very hard. This is going on daily since mid-August. I'm so tired. Exhausted, actually. Yesterday I didn't go to work because of them. Today I have to. Suicidality waxes & wanes. Today, the urges & impulses are worse. I can see myself acting on them. I even see the images of me doing that flash in my mind. Not good. I'm safe currently but really want to act on my impulses. I'm just so tired of living this way. I don't know what else to say. I don't want to depress anyone, but this is how I'm feeling & thinking. This is too hard. Sorry.
Thank you for being so kind!
I'm sorry you're going through so much
There's nothing to be sorry about. There's no such thing as saying something that is true about what you are feeling or experiencing that is wrong or harmful to SF.
Anyone who wants to hide their eyes from the suffering of the world probably wouldn't be reading posts on SF. By knowing the truth, we get a chance to maybe make some of that suffering a little bit less. If I have a chance to help someone like you who is suffering so much, and who is so entirely worthy of all the help and kindness in the world, it's a tremendous honor to me, not something that brings me down.